tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post3090157137477642523..comments2023-06-16T08:01:04.540-05:00Comments on Alex's Adventures: It’s better to be happy and loving than fairAlexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07524692943966582775noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-39076859265483807982012-03-02T10:57:38.410-06:002012-03-02T10:57:38.410-06:00I just got in a fight with my husband about the sa...I just got in a fight with my husband about the same thing. I think it is a common thing to fight about the first year. I can't wait for an update!marilynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08744558677574158093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-34252624088526585262012-03-02T07:46:51.950-06:002012-03-02T07:46:51.950-06:00Hi Alex! This is true for so many situations. I ...Hi Alex! This is true for so many situations. I have had good results with P and also with a certain coworker when I have refocused my efforts from changing them to accepting the situation or adjusting my expectations... usually I am pleasantly surprised by the outcome! So glad to see this has happened to some degree with hubs.<br /><br />Pumping at work and I can't help thinking of you. So funny that I sit at my desk and alternately think of Amelia and Alex's Adventures while pumping, haha.marehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00076679068263782380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-85229920590720862062012-02-28T08:44:15.047-06:002012-02-28T08:44:15.047-06:00Anxious for another update, Alex! I thought I comm...Anxious for another update, Alex! I thought I commented on this post already, but apparently not... Even though I'm not a mom, I think that the title of this post is applicable in so many situations. I find myself forgiving and forgetting more quickly w/ my husband. I'd rather be happy than fighting and trying to prove my point.<br /><br /><3unaffectedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01847927139783349391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-82597171787911400972012-02-27T16:36:42.314-06:002012-02-27T16:36:42.314-06:00I think it will be good for him to be with her one...I think it will be good for him to be with her one on one all day. Maybe it will help him to feel more comfortable doing things-- and also he will learn more about what it takes to care care of her and all that you do!Three Cats and a Babyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16757969648902689785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-63278698106176633262012-02-26T22:09:22.316-06:002012-02-26T22:09:22.316-06:00It sorta happens that way, that men don't jump...It sorta happens that way, that men don't jump in like we think they should. I just left the house for hours every couple of days to force it upon him, think of it as a crash course, lol. Breathe deep lovely lady, it does get easier or just more rhythmic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-6201458145210678932012-02-22T20:36:54.496-06:002012-02-22T20:36:54.496-06:00i am a new reader via misfit's blog. i just h...i am a new reader via misfit's blog. i just had to comment that although i'm hoping that things improve with you and your hubby, it is refreshing for me to read what you're going through... because i'm going through almost the same experience. i thought i was the only one whose husband was very hands-off... every other bloggy husband seems to be swooping in to scoop up the baby and declaring the baby the absolute best thing ever and yearning to hold them and feed them and being superdad about helping. i appreciate your honesty... i know my husband loves our daughter like no other, but it is hard when he chooses not to play with her or hold her, even for me to take a shower, etc.<br /><br />hang in there though- i think your new approach is great!Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08034231451458994325noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-73654132731973694652012-02-20T15:10:40.533-06:002012-02-20T15:10:40.533-06:00Oh Alex, I was so happy to read that the hubs is p...Oh Alex, I was so happy to read that the hubs is putting forth and effort. I admire you for being the bigger person and realizing what's important is a happy environment for your baby! I hope your hubby keeps up with a good track record.Life Happenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02302134343874268994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-12621072628802379492012-02-19T03:24:56.627-06:002012-02-19T03:24:56.627-06:00I don't think that's a very good idea. The...I don't think that's a very good idea. The message you will teach your girls (even subconsciously) is 'you must put up with his unfairness to you because you love him'. My two cents.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-87841890842377099082012-02-17T14:08:58.849-06:002012-02-17T14:08:58.849-06:00I think what you are doing is incredibly positive....I think what you are doing is incredibly positive. It is for the happiness of your family and that is what matters the most. I hope that it continues to lead to positive outcomes for all of you.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05382638658909144208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-40443310570117145562012-02-15T08:23:11.947-06:002012-02-15T08:23:11.947-06:00The idea of privileging anything ahead of justice ...The idea of privileging anything ahead of justice is almost unthinkable to me. But still, you're probably right. And as you've demonstrated, you catch more flies with honey...<br /><br />Here's hoping you're embarking on a new and deepening season of peace and understanding.the misfithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05206278843624907697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-66321421265419117002012-02-13T20:15:11.189-06:002012-02-13T20:15:11.189-06:00You are far better a wife than I am! I can't k...You are far better a wife than I am! I can't keep from having a mental scoreboard in my head of who does what. I get so frustrated being the one that does it all at home and works 50+hrs/wk (when at work). Idon't know how things will shake out with a baby in the mix. I hope I'm able to put on my big girl britches and think how you are. It is definitely better to be happy and loving and to raise a child in that environment than to have things equally split. I hope his 3w of Daddy duty not only give hime and Alex bonding time, but give him a deeper apreciation of all that you do!Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03357280337675044927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-20393119983349543452012-02-13T19:11:56.102-06:002012-02-13T19:11:56.102-06:00It sounds like you have been through a lot and are...It sounds like you have been through a lot and are now trying to justify his bad behavior. Please do take care of yourself. No one deserves to be abused, physically or mentally.Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-62456572420103745312012-02-13T15:22:11.070-06:002012-02-13T15:22:11.070-06:00That sounds super productive. I still think it'...That sounds super productive. I still think it's not fair!! ha ha ha... But I think that once your husband finds out how much work everything is without you (and by 'everything' I mean basic care of the baby-- if he's any kind of normal male, he won't even consider cleaning the toilet), he'll realize he needs to help out more on his own (and maybe start to understand why you get crabby after doing 4x more work than he does!). I am very impressed by everything you're managing to hold together over there!Lesleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01015353387009923240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-20613713345590145362012-02-13T15:00:42.517-06:002012-02-13T15:00:42.517-06:00it sounds like things are really turning around fo...it sounds like things are really turning around for you guys. I think you did a great thing by starting the conversation like you did...your goal is happiness for everyone. I hope that your hubs does a great job at home with Alex and things continue to go well. xoxoALhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09150067629614839175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-64497307810219388672012-02-13T13:25:31.301-06:002012-02-13T13:25:31.301-06:00Hi. I found your blog from another blog and I jus...Hi. I found your blog from another blog and I just wanted to say that you are doing an amazing job. Marriage is hard. Adding a baby makes it even harder. I don't think there will ever be "fair" in each and every marriage. I think every marriage has to find their own dynamic and the balance will shift from one partner to the other. I used to keep track in my head how much work I did at home, and those first few months of parenthood only added to my tally. I felt like I did everything, and maybe I did do everything, but I had to let it go. I had to realize that my husband is not a mind reader. I had to realize that stomping through the house like a crazy person was not the answer. I had to be more loving to everyone in the house. My son (Alexander) is not 17 months old, and I still have those crazy moments, but life is so much happier when we are all kind and loving, and sometimes we each (even our husbands) need a reminder. Hang in there, you are doing great!Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10373012247279262672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-61767645838765243182012-02-13T12:55:33.508-06:002012-02-13T12:55:33.508-06:00This is brilliant progress and I'm delighted w...This is brilliant progress and I'm delighted with the outcome so far! Marriage takes work on both sides and rough patches are only normal specially when things change so much. Much love, FranFranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05717020378275616297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-71526930875693756122012-02-13T12:08:11.063-06:002012-02-13T12:08:11.063-06:00Good for You!! Real relationships are about settin...Good for You!! Real relationships are about setting aside your own righteous indignation (however justified you ay be)and trying to find a happy medium. I'd say you are well on your way to becoming a pro!!<br /><br />So glad you have found a clarity and peace in your union. I wish you all the best.Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11682843160560423503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-29190966248705098602012-02-13T11:59:29.450-06:002012-02-13T11:59:29.450-06:00I love your attitude! I'm glad that things are...I love your attitude! I'm glad that things are getting a little better. Hang in there, you waited a long time to have your little Alex, you deserve all the joy you can get. Sending positive thoughts your way!Sandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10096963201561831900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-32722637506596591932012-02-13T11:44:51.825-06:002012-02-13T11:44:51.825-06:00I admire you ability to put aside your frustration...I admire you ability to put aside your frustrations at his lack of participating. I don't know that I could be that accommodating. :-) You are right, though, it is more important to be happy and nice than to divvy up the work. However, don't forget that you will be happier if he helps out more...which he's doing and that is great! It's a win, win situation. And he will definitely get a first hand experience to what you go through when caring for Alex and taking care of the house. Good for you guys for figuring this out. High fives all around!TeeJayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00893545693449975785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073547614166371090.post-69178684546757180482012-02-13T10:41:48.028-06:002012-02-13T10:41:48.028-06:00I am so happy to read this post!! Maybe he just n...I am so happy to read this post!! Maybe he just needed a little bit of a wake up call, and your email did just that. These next three weeks with him alone with the baby will be wonderful. He will see what you go through on a daily basis, he will fall even more in love with his daughter, and hopefully you will fall in love with your husband a little more after seeing the two of them so close. And if the house is a little messy (lord knows that drives me crazy too), try and take a deep breath and let it go. We all have to remember the important things, and if that means he is spending all of his time with her and not able to keep the house up for this short time, that's ok. He'll get there with the whole multitasking. :)Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16875307109685150842noreply@blogger.com