Monday, July 25, 2011

Viability!

I surpassed the elusive 24 week mark this weekend, and I can’t believe it. I’ve looked up viability a bit, and this is when the chance of life starts to become greater than 50/50. This is when the NICU docs will fight for my baby to live, because she has a fighting chance. This is when she might be able to come out and live. But I’d rather not. She needs to stay in there for quite a bit longer, keep cooking and growing, for a few more months.

I went to the doctor for a nice boring appointment this morning. My fundal height is right on – 24 cm. Baby Alex’s heartbeat is a nice strong 140, and my blood pressure is 122/78, all good. He approved me to fly to Denver in a few weeks, and gave me a note to carry my shots, so I should be ready to go.

I’ve been reflecting on my pregnancy, and it really has been so easy. Besides the anxiety, which I think I’ve been managing fairly well, everything is good. I don’t feel too awful (besides the minor symptoms), and there have been very little scares after the beginning progesterone and bleeding issues. I’m so very lucky to have made it this far, and I’m just thrilled to be able to carry little Alex around for the next few months. And I really hope this “easy” pregnancy thing continues.

After the doc left my room and I was waiting for the note to be able to fly with shots, I could hear him go into the next room for a patient that was around 24 weeks as well, and everything was fine with her. But then I heard the ultrasound tech tell a nurse in the hallway, “I have a 10-weeker with no fetal heartbeat. Need the doc.” And they all just waited until he was done with the patient, and grabbed the doc to go help the 10-weeker with no fetal heartbeat. That poor woman, sitting in that ultrasound room, waiting for the doctor to come and confirm her baby has no heartbeat, and talk about what to do next. I remember that wait, sitting in the ultrasound room crying and hoping for some miracle, something the doctor would be able to see when the tech couldn’t. I closed my eyes, and wished for that miracle for that unseen patient, or at the very least, some peace. I was thankful though that she was going to have the talk with my doc, he was really good with me when it was my time, and he was great at the D&C.

I made it out of the office after paying and making my next appointment, but when I got to my car, I burst into tears. I cried for that women whose heart is breaking, I cried for my baby that I lost last year in the same way, and I cried with joy that my Alex is alive, and her heart is still beating. I’m so very lucky to be 24 weeks pregnant, and although I didn’t necessarily need a reminder, I certainly got one today.

29 comments:

  1. happy viability! Your empathy and compassion for that woman is just what her universe needs right now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So great that you are past 24 weeks!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Alex, this is wonderful news. Happy, happy viability and may Baby Alex continue to grow and thrive.

    (Those offices are so strange, so much happiness right next door to grief. And when you've been through that grief yourself...well, it's just very difficult).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yay for viability! I'm sorry you ended up in tears after your appointment, though. Big hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh sweetie, I know I know it's just horrible. And those news do bring up memories you really rather not. Big hugs and big cheers to little Alex for getting this far (of course she'll be very happy inside for at least 13 more weeks!)
    Love, Fran

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel so bad for that other patient, too. And since you have been there, you know exactly what she is feeling. It's no wonder you were over come with emotion when you left out of there. Yay for you for 24 weeks. Another milestone reached. I look forward to reading about all of your other milestones that will be here before you know it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...and now *I'm* crying for that women. I wish she knew about all of us, and how much we feel for her.

    BUT I am SO ECSTATIC about Little Alex continuing to grow and thrive. I just can't wait for the "she's here" post--- in a few months, of course!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great news! Viability! May Alex continue to grow and thrive for several more months!
    And so heartbreaking for the poor neighbor beside you. Your concern for her is heartwarming.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am so sorry for that other patient. How incredibly sad. I'm crying, too.

    But, I can't tell you how happy I am for you and little Alex. Yay for viability!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations on the milestone! So happy for you.

    My heart goes out to the other patient.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm so happy to hear that all looked good today.

    This post made me cry though...that poor woman and how awful it feels.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hooray for viability! Just another step closer to meeting your little Alex :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yay for viability! Keep growing in there lil Alex! May it be easy street for ya'll the rest of the way.

    My thoughts on reading about the "10-weeker" were hoping you could have gone in there and hugged her, and how much she must be hurting. It's completely understandable that you were so upset after. How could that not have taken you back to where you had been in that same place last year? Heck, I started crying just sitting here, reading about it. I hope she has as great as a support system as this community has been.

    ReplyDelete
  14. There are some people whose blogs I just love, and yours is one of them. I'm so, so very happy you have made it to viability, and I'm sure will go well beyond to a perfectly cooked little Alex:)

    I could completely empathize with you bursting into tears because of that woman. I had tears my eyes just reading. Hope there is lots of support and love waiting for her.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You are a good person (you didn't me to tell you that). But that's why it hurts you when others even strangers hurt, plus you've been there. Congratulations on viability, it's a big milestone, bring on 3T!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I had a cry over this post as well - that poor woman. I was there too, and it's such a horrible place to be.

    24 weeks - wow, that is such a wonderful milestone. Just knowing the NICU is an option for you now - that they'll do all they can rather than telling you "sorry, but it's just too early." must be such a relief. Right now it seems impossibly far away for me, but I'm so very pleased that you've hit that one, and each week from here on out will just get better and better. Next stop - 28 weeks for more than 90% chance of perfect health!

    ReplyDelete
  17. *crying happy and sad tears* Aw you are such a sweet, caring person. I am sooo happy for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ugh! My heart just sank, reading about that poor woman. :( :(

    Happy viability to you! Holla! :D

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am so glad that your pregnancy has been progressing so well. I remember getting to viability and feeling like I could breathe a huge sigh of relief.

    That is really heartbreaking about that other woman. I probably would have started to cry right then and there. It is so hard, yet good to get those reminders from time to time.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I had tears for her too. It truly is horrible. I'm so excited for you though! 24 weeks!!!!That's wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
  21. happy v-day! That is awesome!

    I have tears just reading the story at the ob office. So horrible for that woman :-(

    ReplyDelete
  22. So glad you've reached this important milestone! After IF/loss, though, it seems that every happiness is tinged with that little bit of sadness ... remembering your own stuggles/losses and thinking of others who are in that dark place now.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Alex I am so excited for you to reach this milestone!!!!!!! Amazing!!
    My heart breaks for that woman who lost her baby, it is such a juxtaposition of life and death between your appt and her's. I know your loss will always be with you in such a bittersweet way.
    thinking of you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. This post brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for her. It brings you back so quickly to that place of sadness. Many prayers for her.

    But for you...oh my goodness! I don't think I breathed with Wren until 24 weeks. I don't know why, it was just at that point that I really though, "Okay, this could really happen!" Such a milestone...I'm so happy for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Congrats on viability! That is so awesome! So sad about the other girl in your office ;(

    ReplyDelete
  26. And now I'm crying too.... So glad all is well with you and especially little Alex!!

    ~Mel. (Broken Eggs)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Wonderful post. Happiness and sadness goes hand in hand sometimes. Enjoy your pregnancy =)

    ReplyDelete
  28. oh no..now I am about to cry!!! I am so sorry you had to go through that!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yippee for viability! I am glad things are going well with Alex. Keep up the amazing work.

    ReplyDelete