In November 2009, I made my first appointment with an RE. We had tried to get pregnant for almost a year, and it wasn’t going well. I had tried for a year with my ex in my 20’s, and that didn’t go well either. And so I was sick of the waiting, the longing, the constant thoughts that go through my mind. At the time, my hubs had a very stressful job, one that would often keep him at work until midnight or later. So I had many evenings by myself, with nothing to do but stress. I expected to go to the RE, magically get fixed since that’s what docs do, and have a baby soon! Oh how naïve I was… But I knew I needed to figure out something to do while waiting for my baby.
I scanned the internet, looking for a cross-stitch project which I could love. I really enjoy doing cross-stitch, but most of the designs out there are very country-looking, or kitschy. I wanted something that I could proudly hang in my house and would look a little more contemporary to fit with the rest of the house. I looked up modern cross stitch, and found gecko rouge. If you’re ever looking for a modern cross stitch pattern, take a look at gecko rouge – they have a shop on etsy with lots of great designs.
The whole thing, with the pattern, fabric and thread, cost less than $30, but I have spent countless hours on this project. It is 14 inches square, and made up of 40,000 stitches. Most nights since November 2009, I’ve worked on this project. It made the time go by quicker. So many nights, I would be counting the days until the next treatment, until the next shot, until the beta, until the whatever… And this cross stitch project would get me through. There were months when I wouldn’t touch it – after the miscarriages, during the hopeless times, somehow I couldn’t bear to work on the project. But when I got back in the TTC saddle, and started treatments again, somehow I would be drawn to this project.
I didn’t know where I was going to hang it, as there is absolutely no pink in my house, but I figured I would remodel a bathroom or a guest room all around this project, once I got it framed. But now, I’m having my little Alex, and I think it will go great in her room. I spent countless hours working on this project, waiting for her to arrive, so now it will be a perfect addition to her room. Here it is:
And a close-up of the stitches: