Thursday, January 9, 2014

Farewell, my friends

It’s been seven months, and I can’t believe I’ve been gone so long.  Every week I would tell myself that I would get back into the blogging world, and every week would go by and I wouldn’t find the time.  I am busier than I have ever been in my life, and more tired, and more happy (most of the time).  It’s been a really tough seven months since the birth of my twins, but I’m finally settling down a bit, and I need to acknowledge that I probably won’t get back into blogging.  So this is me, admitting to it, and saying farewell to all you lovely people.

This blog has meant so much to me over the years.  This has given me a place to get all the awful feelings out when nobody understood me.  Infertility completely took over my life, and without this outlet, I don’t know what I would have done.  I look back at that dark period in my life, and it seems like a different life.  I will never forget where I’ve been, and I would never wish infertility on someone else, but I think I grew because of it.  I’m a better mother, wife and friend having gone through infertility.  I will always be an infertile woman in my heart, but my life is not defined by infertility now.  It’s defined by the results of my infertility – three beautiful little children. 

Since the birth of my twins, my life has been a whirlwind of babies.  The best decision we ever made was to have an au pair.  It’s cheaper than daycare for two kids, and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know her.  It’s fun having someone young live in our house, keeping us up to date on the latest fashion, music and celebrity gossip.  And it’s made things so much easier to have childcare in my house!  I feel very spoiled when thinking about my child care.  I work about 20 hours per week from home, and have child care 45 hours per week.  She went home for 1.5 weeks over Christmas, and it was so hard taking care of my children every day!!! J  Seriously, I don’t know how real stay at home moms do it all by themselves, especially with three small children! 

Alex is great – she’s now 26 months, and is a fabulous big sister.  She likes to play with the dogs, and tries to get her brothers to play with her.  She has definitely hit the terrible two’s, but she’s really not that bad, and only goes to time out about 3-4 times per week, usually for pulling the dog’s tail.  She constantly talks, and sings, and dances, and plays.  She frustrates me daily, and makes my heart melt.

The boys are great, and I love that they’re getting bigger each day.  John spent two weeks in the NICU, and another month on oxygen at home, but he is now the bigger and healthy one.  And so happy – I’ve never seen a happier baby!  Nothing bothers him except being hungry.  Even when he’s tired he won’t cry, he’ll just fall asleep wherever he is.  He has this huge barrel chest and gigantic head – we’re sure he will be a football player one day.  A happy healthy football player!

Henry is such a sweetie with the longest eyelashes ever and a mohawk of hair, and he’s definitely a momma’s boy.  He’s fussy and temperamental, and will sometimes only eat for me.  He has reflux (on Prevacid) and was incredibly fussy until we recently changed his formula to the gentle formula, and now he’s only slightly fussy.  He’s the one who won’t sleep at night and screams when you try to feed him, or when he has a dirty diaper, or when he’s tired, or bored, or when the earth is tilted or something.  But when he’s happy he’s so happy!  He giggles when he sees me in the morning, and his favorite place is in my arms.  Our family jokes that he’s my favorite because I’m always holding him, but it’s the only way he’s happy!

It makes me so sad, but I must say goodbye to my blog and to most of you.  I don’t have the time anymore, and I need to focus on my family and my home, and a little on my job.  I’ve become “real-life” friends with a few bloggy friends on Facebook, and I would love to do that with any of you that I’ve become friends over the years! So please email me at with your Facebook profile (along with your blog name so I can recognize you) and I’ll send you a friend request.  Thank you so very much for being there for me over the years.  I don’t think I could have done it without you.

I’ll leave you with a picture of the results of my fertility struggle:  John, Alex and Henry.