Thursday, October 25, 2012

My Little Weebles


Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!  This has been in my head all day.  On Monday, the nurse said that sometimes with twins the beta numbers wobble, but they recover.  Frankly, I didn't believe her.  I kept telling myself that the ultrasound looked good, that both embryos had a gestational sac that was measuring great - a day ahead!  But in the back of my head, I kept thinking of that 39% rise over 3 days, and it's just not good. 

Today I went in for another ultrasound and blood work, and the twins are still kicking!  Well not yet exactly, but it all looks good - mostly.  The ultrasound looks decent.  The nurse said they look good.  Both measured about 5 weeks, 3 days.  I'm 5 weeks, 4 days today.  They could see a yolk sac in both embryos.  And the beta came back, and it's high enough.  At my clinic, they stop telling you the number over 5,000.  It was 2,014 on Monday, and today (Thursday) it's over 5,000.  So I'm going to assume this is good - that it's high enough, and now we don't have to worry about the numbers!  I go back in on Wednesday, and hopefully I should see heartbeats then.

Once I started thinking about it, I am a little concerned about the growth rate of the embryos.  On Monday, they were measuring 5wk2d, and now they're measuring 5wk3d.  Not good that they had 1 day worth of growth in 3 days.  But there were two different nurses doing the ultrasounds, and I know we're talking millimeters here in difference.  Perhaps one nurse draws just inside the lines, and the other draws just outside?  I'm choosing to feel positive, and hopeful.  If I'm smoking crack (well not really of course...) please don't tell me.  I want to have this weekend of happiness. 

Speaking of this weekend, I'm just about as busy as I've ever been in my life, and I'm not sure how it will all get done.  I'm still in my full-time job until the end of next week, I have my sweet Alex, I'm leaving tomorrow to go to a family reunion, returning on Monday (flying with just Alex by myself - should be interesting.  Also I'm spending 3 nights with my mom - first time in YEARS - we don't have a great track record of getting along...), and to top it all off, I'm taking a faculty prep class that started on Monday and goes till next Friday.  This thing is KICKING MY ASS!  Every morning, I get up around 5 am (if I don't wake up at 3:00 - pregnancy insomnia has started) and work on the class until 6:30.  Then get ready, wake up Alex, get her ready and take her to school, then go to work at 8:00.  Leave that around 5:30, pick up Alex, give her dinner and put her to bed around 7, then eat something and work on my class till about 9, at which point I CRASH.  I'm exhausted.  I just don't know how I can keep going.  I have a huge essay that's due Sunday night, and somehow I'm going to have to figure out how to get this thing done while I'm at my mom's house and family reunion and taking care of Alex!  And I should probably stop writing this so I can go pack and go to BED!

But before I went to bed I wanted to let all of you know, all of you wonderfully supporting people that I'm so lucky to have in my life, that my little weebles wobbled, but they haven't fallen down!  When I found out that I was pregnant with twins on Monday morning, I have to admit, I was a little scared.  Three kids under two, I kept repeating to myself.  I didn't know how I was going to manage it all.  Yes, I was excited, but mostly overwhelmed.  But when I got the scary beta news Monday afternoon, all of that changed.  That is the one gift that infertility keeps giving us.  We realize just how precious this gift of children are.  One bad blood test, and the thought of losing my little gifts, my little scientific miracles, threw me into a tailspin when thinking about losing even one of them.  So although it was a scary few days, and I don't know if I will have scary days in my future, I am grateful for this experience.  Because now instead of thinking about how I will manage three kids under two, I am hoping beyond hope to have three kids under two.

27 comments:

  1. So glad the ultrasound went well!

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  2. Oh Alex, congrats!!! I am so excited for you! Oh my! I will pray for you and the babies. Sounds like you have a super busy schedule coming up. I hope you can get some rest in between all of it.

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  3. This is great news! I have been thinking about you all day. I'm glad you got good news - and that your beta MORE THAN DOUBLED! YAY!

    Best wishes for a peaceful weekend :)

    And for what it's worth - I can totally see the difference in size being due to technicians. I'm not just saying that.

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  4. This is great news! And surely you remember my rollercoaster with the measures at the very beginning! I just think it's way to early to be accurate and we are talking millimetres here. Keep positive, beta are fantastic and I can't wait for the next step!

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  5. So wonderfully excited for you! Take care of yourself amidst all that craziness!

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  6. What great news!! I bet you were just elated today after the appointment. I hope that everything continues to go well; your babies are fighters for sure!

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  7. That's great news about the u/s. Like you said, 2 different nurses taking measurements and nothing is perfect. Hang onto that hope and that happiness. So far, so good is how I like to look at it. My goodness you have a lot on your plate right now! You are so strong and determined that I just know you will figure it all out...it might be tough and you might feel like you are losing your mind, but you'll get through it just fine.

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  8. Great news on the ultrasound! Hope you get through the next week with minimal stress and I especially hope the next u/s is even better!!

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  9. This is GREAT news, Alex! I wouldn't worry about the 1 day of difference on the ultrasound, different techs measure differently and growth isn't even. The fact that they both have visible yolk sacs is great. Everything crossed for you and your two LOs

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  10. Wonderful news! Good luck with everything you have going on! I hope you can get it all done without wearing yourself out.

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  11. This is wonderful news. I'm so happy : )

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  12. Alex, can I tell you again how much I admire you?? I am continually impressed with your ability to do it all AND remain a faithful and true blog friend to so many ladies. I am so happy that everything is going well with the weebles!! Don't fall down, little weebles!

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  13. I am so happy that you had a great u/s!! I have been keeping you in my thoughts!! FX for great flight, finishing your essay on time and having lots of extra time to spend with Alex :) xo

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  14. Yay, they are fighters, just like you!!!!!!

    I am so excited for you!

    And girl you are going to need some rest to cook those twins, you are gonna need a break soon!!!

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  15. Great news!! Thinking of you my dear! I have a couple friends who had wonky betas and thought for sure they were doomed - but twins!! It must be something weird with twins. Will continue to pray, but you have some strong beans in there! :-)

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  16. So happy your little weebles are doing well =) Can't wait to hear about the h/b scan, it's going to be awesome! My RE and OB always told me that measurements this early on can be really, really hard to get accurate. So as long as they are within a week of where they should be there's nothing to worry about. I know, easy to say impossible to do. Hope you have a good trip this weekend!

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  17. Yay!!!! Great news! So happy for you!

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  18. Awesomesauce. You hang in there - sounds to me like you're all right on track!

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  19. Yay! Hang in there Weebles! It's really hard in the beginning after IF and loss. Fractions of mm can make days of difference and it could totally be techs or diff machines.

    3 under 2 has to be a tad easier than the craziness you've been doing this week and have ahead of you this weekend :)

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  20. Yay Weebles!! Wishing you more and more and more succesful steps with your little twins!

    I would second or third or whatever that you should get Dr. Luke's book on multiples. I got the ebook version and it was my bible for how to eat, act, behave during the pregnancy and how to deal with the NICU as well (which, hopefully you won't need, but the book is excellent at helping you realize how to be realistic about all aspects of twins).

    My biggest advice? Eat, eat and then eat some more. When you can't eat anymore? Yeah, that's when you know you need to keep eating. And, lie down as much as humanly possible.

    Oh, and find a really good maternal fetal medicine specialist.

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  21. I'm really really behind to all of this and I"m so sorry for all the stress you've been under with this--hoping everything keeps chugging along!

    TWINS--whoa whoa whoa is all I can say! I'm not technically a twin mom but my kids are two weeks apart in age and so for practical purposes it has been like having twins--you will cry as much as you laugh in the beginning, that's for sure :) But you can do it!

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  22. I am just glad that you get to go in for regular scans. I only had one with my RE, and luckily, I've had three with my OB, but two of them were not under good circumstances (baby is fine though!).

    Just keep positive. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep on growing little babies!

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  23. HOLY CRAP HOW DID I MISS THIS
    YOU ARE HAVING TWINS
    I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU
    OMG OMG OMFGGGGGGGGG
    AHHHHHHHHHHHH
    ALL CAPS FOREVER!!!!

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  24. I am so happy for you and your weebles!! I really hope that you had a wonderful weekend away, that you got your work done, and that you managed to relax and enjoy yourself!

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  25. Your last sentence was SO perfect. :) I love it.

    I agree - those millimeters of measurement differences are SO tiny at this point - I wouldn't worry about measuring a day or two more/less from one appointment to another. Can't wait to hear about tomorrow!!

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