First I wanted to say I can’t believe I’m in my 2nd trimester. I was 14 weeks on Saturday, and by any of the books, I’m now in the 2nd trimester (why do they disagree, by the way?)! I can’t believe I’m actually at this point. Throughout all the treatments, and the months of not getting pregnant, and the losses, I always wondered if it would ever happen for me. And although I’m still not convinced, there’s starting to look like there’s a good chance that there will actually be a baby at the end of this road. Unbelievable! I’ve had a lot of weird moments lately like this. I was complaining to my therapist last week about the hubs and how he’s not helping out around the house, and what is he going to be like when we have a kid, and I was getting really upset. She asked me, “do you think that you’re no longer as worried about actually having the baby, that you’re starting to worry about bringing a baby home?” That struck me… Um yes, it never really occurred to me that I might have to worry about a BABY! Suddenly I’m thinking about things like sleep schedules, and maternity leave, and daycare, and I should probably figure out something about breastfeeding, and how we’re actually going to do this, and honestly, it’s a little scary – good, but scary. Once I realized what was going on in my crazy head, I started to relax. I can do this. I WANT to do this – more than anything. I’m going to have a BABY, and it’s going to be wonderful! (Oh I hope there’s going to be a baby…)
Things have been going pretty good in the pregnancy front. The 2nd trimester is definitely shaping up to be better than the 1st. From the anxiety levels decreasing, to no more nausea (mostly), to sleeping a little better, all things are looking up. I went to the doc on Friday to have my cervix checked, as I had a LEEP about ten years ago. It measured great – 3.6 cm. He said anything over 2.5 is good, so no cerclage. I’m starting to look bigger, which I’m doing pretty well with (mostly). I went to a maternity store for the first time on Saturday, and I loved it. I had so much fun shoving that pillow in my pants, looking at my future big belly, it was like playing dress up as a child. But now it’s for real! And maternity pants could be the best thing ever. For the first time in weeks, I’m super comfortable at work…
I had a really stupid pregnancy moment this weekend, or at least I’m blaming it on pregnancy – there’s no way I could be this forgetful, right? For the first time in my entire life, I ran out of gas. Seriously, I’m driving along, and it just stopped. Thank goodness I had just exited from the highway and was close to home so the hubs could bring me gas. Who does this? I’m almost 36 years old, and I run out of gas???
Last weekend in Austin was fun. I successfully hung out with everyone, and didn’t get upset at their drunkenness or anything. The day we got there, my friend, the woman who had said I talked about TTC too much, got a call from her gyno recommending Clomid. They have been TTC since October, and it’s not working. She has consistent 6-week cycles. The gyno tested her for a bunch of stuff, but because she has 6-week cycles, and the day 21 progesterone test was low, the doc concluded that she’s not ovulating, and therefore needs Clomid. My friend was not happy. Through tears at a concert, she told me, “No offense, but I don’t want to take fertility drugs.” I feel so bad for her. I asked if she had charted at all, and she hasn’t – her doc told her it wouldn’t work since she works nights. Also, she hasn’t used ovulation kits. I told her before she did the Clomid, to try charting for a few months. As long as she’s sleeping for longer than 4 hours at a time, I think charting could work. Maybe she has a normal, ovulating, 6-week cycle. This is possible, right? Also, I told her to stock up on the OPK’s. I sent her my Taking Charge of Your Fertility book to teach her about charting, but do you ladies have any other advice? Is it possible to have an ovulating 6-week regular cycle? Also, could it take more than 8 months to get everything to work after going off BCP’s? She keeps blaming the pill for her wonky cycles, but it should be good by now if she went off in September, right? I don’t want to give her false hope, but if she’s really against meds, then maybe she should do some other things first, right?
One more thing – wanted to give a bit of a warning. I’ve heard a lot of good things about the book Sing You Home from Jodi Picoult – it’s fiction about infertility. I’m always looking for something good to read, so I downloaded it yesterday and started reading it before bed. I only made it through the first chapter I think, and although I will probably continue it another day, I do not recommend it to a pregnant woman. Or maybe even some women that aren’t yet pregnant. I don’t know – you have to be in a decent state of mind to start this book. Reading about how the main character lost her baby at 28 weeks (I’m not spoiling it – this is how the story begins!) is NOT GOOD. I was crying before bed, and then had the worst dreams ever. I kept waking up, afraid of losing my baby. I’m feeling better today, but I may need to read something else tonight. Something light and happy perhaps!