Thursday, July 14, 2011

I Cheated!

I’ve been so good in this pregnancy, watching everything that goes into my mouth. I haven’t had any raw fish (I miss you sushi!), or soft cheeses, and no caffeine, well almost no caffeine… Up until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t had one drop of caffeine, which I miss terribly. Prior to TTC, I loved getting up in the morning and making myself a cup of coffee, and enjoying it over the news, which I would do every day. Then later at work, I would often get a small latte in the mid-morning. While TTC, I would stop for awhile, go to decaf for awhile, cycle back and forth, never really giving it up. I finally gave it up completely in November last year, preparing for my first IVF cycle. When my IVF failed, I had a couple cups of coffee for a few days, but I quickly abstained, knowing the FET cycle would be coming, and I didn’t want to get addicted again.

So I haven’t had any coffee – ALL YEAR!!! Up until a few weeks ago… I’m sure you all remember how I went to the doc for a 20 week ultrasound, and they couldn’t tell if my baby was a boy or a girl. Well the doc told me to drink some caffeine before I came in for the next ultrasound so the baby would be up and moving around. I was so excited. It almost seemed worth it – I didn’t know the sex of my baby, but I got coffee! And a few days later when I counted down the minutes until I went and got that mini-latte, I definitely thought it was worth it. I was pretty excited about finding out the sex, but I also got a latte! Oh wow – what a great day!

But just like any good addict, one taste, and that’s all I can think about. Since that doctor-recommended latte, I catch myself thinking back to that time when I felt so good drinking it. It’s not only the flavor (which of course is fabulous), but it’s the feeling that everything is so right with the world! Most days I’m pretty tired throughout the day, and I’m functioning, but with coffee I’m SO MUCH BETTER! But I held off, telling myself that I shouldn’t drink any. Granted, my doc said I can have two cups each day, but I’m better than that, right? I don’t need silly crutches like caffeine – I’m a good pregnant woman – no coffee necessary! Or at least that’s what I told myself until yesterday…

Monday night I was up late, as hubs got home late and we stayed up talking. So I was tired on Tuesday, but I was fine, I’m used to being tired. Tuesday night we spent four hours in the ER, waiting for the hubs to be seen, and finally giving up at 11:00. (Long story short: he has a huge welt on his arm, he went to his work clinic during the day, who told him it is a brown recluse spider bite, and he needed to go to ER that night, apparently the ER disagreed since they wouldn’t see him, but wouldn't tell us that, they just kept us waiting until we gave up. Then he went to another clinic during the day yesterday, and they think it’s a MSRA staph infection, not a spider bite. They sent a sample away for testing, so we’re not sure what it is, but either way it could be very bad if left untreated, but he’s on some serious antibiotics and ointment, and I’m hoping it’s not a contagious staph infection…) So anyway, back to me – I was tired. So very tired yesterday afternoon at work, I could barely keep my eyes open. And I was about to have to lead a meeting, which does not allow napping for some reason. And so I did it, I went and got a latte.

And it was wonderful. Throughout the meeting, I sipped on my latte. I was planning on drinking only half of my small cup, but somehow all of it disappeared. I could feel Lil’ Alex waking up, and she was kicking like crazy, which was fun. And my brain was clicking like it never does! I started talking faster, and thinking faster, and everything was fantastic! I was happy, and it spread throughout the rest of my day. I got a bunch of work done in the hour remaining after the meeting, ran a few errands, then went to my therapist appointment and talked about my mom without crying or anything! Then I called my mom and told her what I had practiced with my therapist (“You have an open invitation to come visit, I’d really like you to come, but I’m not going to ask anymore, so please let me know when you’re ready to come visit.”) and went home. I cleaned up a little, and then worked on a new cross-stitch project (can’t believe I started another one, especially with Alex coming, but I missed doing it!), and stayed up WAY TOO LATE! I forced myself to go to bed at 10, but read a book until about 11 when the hubs came home. Then I got up and talked to him for awhile. I finally got to sleep around 12:30, and didn’t sleep well at all. And now, I’m exhausted…

Moral of the story is don’t drink caffeine in the afternoon. Or really ever, as it obviously does a number on me as my tolerance is so low now. But I can’t wait until I get to go back to my little habit – it will be wonderful!!! But when? I probably shouldn’t while breastfeeding, which I plan to do for a year, and then I’ll be weaning right when I will probably want to start TTC again. Ugh – when do I get coffee??? Yes, my name is Alex (kinda), and I'm an addict…

18 comments:

  1. Oh, your poor husband. I hope he's okay. I'm not addicted to coffee, I missed that boat, but I have a similar addiction to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups! I try to be good and not eat more than one every few months...but they call to me!

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  2. Everything in moderation : )

    I gave up caffeine two years ago. I have the occasional chocolate and the occasional sip of hubby's caffeinated soda but I never order a diet coke or anything. One time I had two sips of A's mountain dew at 5 pm and I couldn't sleep all night!! When you're off it for a while you DEFINITELY notice the effects.

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  3. Yes, coffee rocks. How about a really low low level tea now and again? I would miss it terribly. (Ps- you can eat feta or other soft cheeses if it is pasteurized. So there may be other pleasures to take part in!!)

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  4. I gave up caffeine throughout my pregnancy...it was SO hard. I got tired of pretending with decaf. But, when I had my first coke after giving birth (yes, that was what I requested..not food!), it was crazy! I was AWAKE! Even four months later, I still find that caffeine affects me much more than it used to---not that I'm abstaining anymore :-) Hope you husband feels better!

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  5. You are so funny. I don't drink coffee so I can't relate to this story. However, if my husband does not get his morning coffee he's a bear and just not right all day. I'm glad you enjoyed your drink but I'm sorry that you were kept up all night.

    I hope they figure out what your husband has. Must be pretty scary to not know and especially to be sent away from the ER like that. Sometimes hospitals just really piss me off.

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  6. Oh, I totally know what you mean about the coffee. I, like you, have gone through on and off cycles during TTC but gave it up when I was pregnant. At the moment I'm whole hog addicted again -- although I still only really drink one latte a day so it isn't THAT bad. It's part of my "I don't give a crap about IF -- well, at least for the next few months" approach to TTC. I know I have such a different personality when I'm on caffeine. Also, I've found as I age that the hours of the day where it is "safe" for me to drink caffeine have gotten fewer and fewer if I don't want to be up all night! (currently it seems to end around 2:00 pm) I think back wistfully to college when I'd drink an espresso at midnight and then go to bed at 1 am.

    I hope you find out what is up with your hubby soon and it gets better soon! Both of those possibilities are scary!

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  7. I'm not a coffee drinking (or tea, for religous reasons) but my caffeine drink of choice was diet coke. I gave it up while pregnant until third trimester. And I nurse my 5 month old now and have a diet coke a day. :)

    Hope your hubby doesn't have the mrsa. My hubby has had it 3 times!! He got the antibiotics and the super ointment too (I call it neosporin on steroids. It's very expensive, but works very well).

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  8. I've been drinking coffee and breastfeeding-- I started slow, but it didn't seem to have any effect on P whatsoever, so I'm now up to a cup a day (but it's a big cup!). I'm drinking beer too, and P seems right on track developmentally. 2 years without coffee is asking too much!!!

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  9. I drank a little coffee every morning during pregnancy on my OB's orders because I had such such SUCH severe constie issues. (You're welcome! haha.) I drink some coffee and some diet coke even tho I'm breastfeeding. The babies sleep 16+ hours a day and the ped and OB gave me the okay, so I'm sticking to it! :) xoxo

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  10. yuck, what a dumb hospital! That's scary about the possible bite... I hate spiders! I used to drink sweet tea during my pregnancy a couple of times, until I realized that I was putting a LOT of caffeine in my body, and Nolan would be up forever! But I bet it was great to feel "alive" again, I know I felt that way after the baby was born and I had my sweet tea back again :)

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  11. I can so relate. I love my coffee. I gave it up when we were going through treatments, but now that I'm on a break I'm enjoying it once again. Hopefully I will be giving it up soon though and trying once again. I hope your hubby feels better soon!

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  12. I am so sorry about your husband. That is awful!
    Oh I dream of coffee. Vanilla, and caramel, and of course this coming holiday the yummy pumpkin and eggnog. Oh the eggnog! Why!!! Okay..sorry about that! I want coffee! especially these nights with the tossing and turning and not getting any sleep. Did you get like this too in your beginning of your second trimester. Wait..how long are you now. What month?

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  13. I did not give up coffee while PG or BF. My doctor says up to 3 small cups a days is allowed. I also have low BP so for me it's even recommended (if your BP is on the high side caffeine is a huge no-no!). I drank one, sometimes 2 cups a day and both of my kids turned out perfect :) And trust me, you will NEED to have at least one cup a day once you BF since you will be functioning on very little sleep. All I am saying is don't beat yourself up because you allowed yourself a cup now and then, it's going to be fine!!!

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  14. I also gave up coffee for the first trimester, but am drinking a latte in the morning while breastfeeding. I can totally see why you would not want to take any chances while pregnant, but I think unless Alex turns out to be super sensitive to it, you are not that far away from your beloved bean being a regular part of your day again! Just imagine, cuddling with your precious darling one in the morning...and little Alex too!

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  15. Love, love, love coffe. Drank it throughout pregnancy (only one smallish cup) and now ( 2 large cups) but only in the a.m. I know what you mean---it does make you feel like all is right with the world!

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  16. i was drinking copious amounts of caffeine (large Starbucks + giant Diet Mt Dews all day) the first few weeks of my first pregnancy. I had stopped IF treatments a few months prior and had no clue I was pregnant. I dropped the caffeine the rest of the first tri. But after that, in both pregnancies, i allowed myself one caffeine drink a day - either a regular Coke (mmmm, so good!) or a small coffee. Both my boys turned out just fine! I still drink coffee while breastfeeding - i just make sure to drink it only in the a.m. so the baby doesn't get caffeine at bedtime! I think everything is fine in moderation, except maybe the raw fish.

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  17. I think an occasional latte (especially in the morning...you're right about the tolerance) is a-okay, especially after the first tri. I'm more of a tea drinker. And how I missed it! Now, I allow myself a cup 5 times a week. And you know what? It's fine. Moderation is fine.

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