Monday, December 5, 2011

1 Month!

Note to self: if you intend to do monthly posts, and complete it anytime close to her monthly birthday, make sure you start a few days early... It can get crazy around here at a moment's notice!

Alex at one month (a few days ago, but still!):
She's doing well. Her favorite times are definitely in the morning, when she's alert, and interested in things around here. She naps great during the day, and at night... Well she's not that great at going to sleep. Last night for example, we started her last main feeding at around 8:45 pm, and she was up, still eating occasionally or crying, until about 2:30. Finally at 2:30, she fell asleep in her bouncy seat set up next to my bed, and slept until 5:00 am, at which time I brought her into bed and she nursed for about five minutes, fell asleep for about 20, nursed for 5, etc. until we got up for the day at 7:30, at which time she started her day with a good feeding, with a good nap afterwards. So we're working on getting some awake time during the day so hopefully she'll figure out how to go to sleep in the evening...

She loves tummy time, or at least what we call it: tummy time on Daddy's belly. She doesn't love true tummy time on the floor or couch by herself, but she'll handle it for about 3-4 minutes before she gets angry.

I think Alex may be flirting with smiling - I think it will happen for real here very quickly. We can see certain expressions that might be smiles, but it's hard to tell. She's gone to a few restaurants, and shopping, and to the grocery store - and she behaved very well (slept the whole time...).

I just made an appointment for the doc this afternoon to talk about potential reflux. She get real fussy in the late afternoon/evening when eating. When she has to burp or spit up, she screams and arches her back, throws up, and then feels better. And she hiccups and sneezes after eating, which I've read can also be symptoms. She eats peacefully in the morning, with minimal spit-up, so I wonder if it's really reflux, but I still hate to see her in pain or uncomfortable in the evenings, so it may be worth a visit to the doc to investigate.

Breastfeeding is still going. I'm currently feeding Alex more than half her total intake with breastmilk. Obviously it's hard to judge, but one day last week I did a 24 hour test, and didn't breastfeed at all, only pumped, and I pumped 16.5 ounces in 24 hours, and she ate 21.5 ounces of breastmilk/formula. So I was 5 ounces short for the day. I think that was a low intake day on Alex's part, as yesterday I had to give her about 8 ounces total formula, but it's still pretty good. I'm taking fenugreek and blessed thistle, and with the hope of making more milk, I just ordered some Breastea and some Mother's Milk Plus. We'll see if these help at all. Some days I think of quitting breastfeeding about five times during the day, and yet I still continue. That year I originally wanted to do seems a very long time from now...

This post is supposed to be about my baby's progress during the first month, but I figure I should at least mention the recovery from the c-section. For the first time in a month, I haven't had any painkillers in the last 48 hours. The lasting pain has been the most surprising for me, as it got better after about two weeks, I had a few days reprieve, and then it got worse - really bad in fact. I keep reminding myself that it was major surgery, and I should give myself time to recover, but I wish I felt 100% again. I'm happy to report that I only have three pounds to lose until I get to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I would love to lose a lot more as I was very heavy from all the fertility treatments, and let's face it, all the eating... And I do not love my post-pregnancy belly. I much preferred my huge pregnancy belly, at least then I looked pregnant instead of simply fat!

This first month of my baby's life has been amazing. It's been more fun than I expected, and more exhausting. I sometimes wonder if I can do it all, and I definitely worry about going back to work. But then I look at my baby girl's face, and my heart just melts. All the years of pain, all the treatments, money, and heartbreak, it was all worth it. I now have my little girl, and if I had to go through all of what I did to hold her in my arms, I would do it all again.

Now here are some pics, which were actually taken on her 1-month birthday!





31 comments:

  1. The first 7 weeks were hell for me, but magically, A got happy! And it did get easier. I would have ever believed it. He, too, was up all night cluster nursing and napping.

    One thing I did do was the whole day/night mood for sleep. I never let him nap in the dark during the hours of 7am-7pm. I made sure he was in a room that was noisy or well lit. Then at night, it was blackout the whole time, even if he was awake.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a cutie!

    From the perspective of a postpartum doula, everything you describe sounds fairly normal for being 4-5 weeks into the postpartum/newborn period. I do hope you find out more about whatever is bother Little Alex's tummy, whether it's reflux or something else. And I'm sorry to hear that breast feeding is so challenging for you. That must be really frustrating and disappointing. :-( It sounds like you're doing everything you can to make it work.

    (((Hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  3. She is just so adorable!! I am ready for another one already!

    I'm sure you'll get plenty of advice on here, but one thing that worked for us with bottle feeding is we used Dr. Brown's bottles. My friend told me about them and they work great. It helps circulate the air so that baby is taking in so much, which would cause her to spit up more. Matthew hardly ever spit up.

    Keep up with the breastfeeding though. It's REALLY tough at first, but it gets better. I pumped a lot and just kept at it. As you probably already know, the more you do, the more you'll get.

    Enjoy every minute!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Such a cutie!! I hope you can all figure out her sleep schedule soon. I'm sure that will help immensely!

    ReplyDelete
  5. How sweet! I think it's great that you are able to provide her with as much milk as you are - I wish I had been able to BF/pump longer. Do you notice if her reflux is worse after she eats formula?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sounds like everything is right on track =) I know b/f is really tough but if you make it to 8 weeks it gets SO much easier, I promise. I never thought I'd make it to 6 months (my initial goal) and here I am still nursing at 18 months (hello granola mama). Talking with the doc about reflux is a good idea. That arched back would make me curious too.

    Before I got pregnant people all told me that it would all be worth it and I have to say it sounded trite. But those first moments with my baby girl I totally agreed. It sounds like your pain and bitterness of IF have melted away. So happy for you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, and the c-section recovery...mine took so much longer than I expected. Right around the 3-4 week mark is when I stopped pain killers too. Just take it slow and I hope it gets better really soon!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Such a cute lil girl!!

    You are awesome to stick with breast feeding and do everything you're doing. It's great that she's getting a majority of her food from you. Way to go, Mama!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sounds like you are doing really well! well done. And woah that was a long time to be awake, but well done, I fear Ill find that really hard when there are long long awake patches during the night, but guess it all comes together after a while. I cant wait!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh Alex,
    You sound wonderful, it is great to hear what you have to say, aside from the potential reflux issue. She is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  11. She is so cute!!!!
    It does get sooooo much easier and more fun!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awww...such a cute baby! I'm not sure it gets easier (I'm not there yet), but it does get more and more fun.

    I've read that most BF babies only eat 25 to 30 ounces a day, as opposed to FF babies who increase ounces as they get older, so I'd say you and Alex are doing great! Babies are usually more efficient than a pump too. I can't even tell you how many times I contemplated quitting. It gets so much easier. It took me 10 weeks to get to the point where I didn't think about quitting every day.

    Can't wait to see more pics!

    ReplyDelete
  13. She's adorable!!! Happy 1 month. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh Alex, she's so cute! I can't believe how similar our experiences have been. I'm delinquent on my 2 month post but I finally gave up the fenugreek, the blessed thistle, the oatmeal, the beer ( well, not quite!), the Reglan and finally the pumping and just went to nursing and then giving a bottle of formula at each feeding. I started at 7 weeks thinking my milk might not hold out for more than a week or so, but here I am at 10.5 weeks and still nursing. I figure E gets maybe 10 oz from nursing per day and another 5 oz of breastmilk in a bottle from pumping before I go to bed and once in the middle of the night (since she's now sleeping from 7:30 pm to 6 am every night which, maybe, coincidentally, started the night I started just nursing and giving formula.) Hang in there! I stopped trying to increase my milk and I feel happier just nursing and giving formula.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So cute!!! I am sorry about the lasting c-section pain, but jealous as hell that you're 3 lbs away from pre-preg weight. I am finally down to pre-preg, but those ttc pounds will NOT "melt away". Weight loss has been very slow for me.

    I hope that sleep starts going better-- P still wakes up a LOT in the night. Probably not what you wanted to hear from 10 months in. But we manage, somehow. The cuteness makes it worthwhile :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. She is so perfect!! I can't wait til she smiles. And I'm glad you're starting to feel better after the c/s. I'm still struggling with my post-baby body even a year later. It's just tough and the c/s wrecks everything. But you've got it just right-everything was worth that little beauty!! I'm so happy to see an update, here's hoping her sleep schedule evens out.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So cute! I love the one of her biting the Boppy. Sleep will get better, it takes time to get in a routine. As for post-baby body, I'm around 15-20 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight (and needed to be due to the fertility drugs and eating through the monthly letdowns) and I still don't love my post pregnancy body. I'm getting used to it though, it's just weird how things move and change. Take your time and go easy on yourself. It's all normal, or at least that's what I tell myself.... :).

    ReplyDelete
  18. Alex...your post from last night was still in my reader this morning, and I completely understand why you removed it. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today, and I am hoping that today brings you a little more clarity and peace. You are a loving, capable mama. I understand if you want to delete this comment. I wanted to email you, but I don't see an email posted anywhere. If you need anything at all, you are welcome to email me at blog(dot)trinity@gmail(dot)com. It sounds like an exceptionally, heartachingly difficult situation, and I know you are doing your best to make sense of it all. Sending love to you and little Alex... XX

    ReplyDelete
  19. Alex... Just wanted you to know that I'm sending you lots of love. I, too, wanted to email you but wasn't sure how. Much love and support. I'm here if you need me. (sweetsoils(at)gmail(dot)com)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thinking of you and baby girl! Hope you have had a chance to talk things through. I too saw your last post. Lots of strenght your way!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Alex, I just read your last post-- the one that you deleted. I am struggling with what to say. My fingers are overwhelming itching to overstep the bounds of "blog friend". If I had the money, I'd buy a ticket to come and see you. If I had the room in my apartment and wasn't facing ridiculous problems of my own, I'd invite you to stay at my house in a heartbeat. I know that none of this is required of a "blog friend", only words of support are required. But those feel so very inadequate right now. I don't judge anyone involved, AT ALL, but I just have a strong feeling of wanting to hang out with you, and to have some time to affirm ourselves as mothers together. And to plot your next move... you are STRONG and LOVING. You'll do what's best for yourself and Alex, I trust you completely with that.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I hope everything is okay..I saw you wrote shocked..and then it disapeared.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thinking of you. Please post soon and let us know you are OK. Shoot me an email if you need anything

    ReplyDelete
  24. Awww she's so adorable. I hope everything's ok?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Alex, how's it going??? xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  26. I also saw that the post update was gone and figured that something is up. Take care of yourself, girl. There is a lot of stress around the holidays and I hope things are okay.

    ReplyDelete