Transitions

You know when you have so much going on in your life, that it’s just a whirlwind?  This is my life.  I’m so excited about it, this is what I want, and yet it’s exhausting.  I’ve reached the point where I just observe, watching my life unfold.  I have no idea what will happen in the next few months, but it’s all so exciting.  I wanted to take this moment and write down where we are, right now.

Alex: fabulous as always.  Actually the easiest part of my life.  She eats well, she sleeps well, she is happy and healthy.  The only bad part is her lack of naps at daycare.  She moved to the Infant 2 class about a month ago, and instead of allowing them to sleep whenever, and encouraging her to get two naps per day, she’s now on a schedule that allows for only one nap per day.  At 9 months old, I was told that she was old enough to have only one nap per day.  I completely disagree.  On the weekends, she takes two naps that are 1.5-2 hours each.  But during the week, she takes 1 nap, and usually wakes up about 45 minutes in.  She will do that at home, but in a room by herself, she’ll look around and go back to sleep.  In a room full of other babies, she wants to get up and party.  So at most she gets an hour of sleep during the day.  So by the time I get her in the evenings, it’s rough.  Now at 10.5 months, it’s getting a little better, and I know it will get better with time, but I hate it.  The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that we only have 1.5 months left of full-time daycare.

Job:  Speaking of no more full-time daycare, I’m working with my current job to go part-time: 20 hours per week.  It’s about 90% definite: we’re moving from Texas to Colorado.  And no matter what, I’m not working full-time after November 1.  The plan is to work remotely from home, and fit in 20 hours per week.  This will be with 3 half days at daycare, plus naps, plus grandma/aunt help or weekend work if necessary.  I’m so excited about this.  My job transition has been approved by almost all levels at my company, and only needs to be approved by the CEO, but I don’t think he will have a problem with it.  My hubs does not love it, but he’s not objecting.  I keep telling him we’ll figure out the money.  Which I know we will.  But he really likes having plenty of money…  Also I’m talking with the university I mentioned earlier about being an adjunct professor – teach 1-2 classes, primarily at night.  I’m so excited about this!  I think it will be the perfect schedule.

Move:  We’re very active in trying to move in November.  Hubs is trying to find a job, which I know he will find, but it might take some time to find the perfect job.  I feel like he feels pressure to find something really soon, so I’m trying to convey that it will be fine if he doesn’t, but I think he feels the responsibility of primary breadwinner and insurance provider.  He is currently in Denver, and had an interview today that he was really excited about, and the company loved him, but doesn’t want to pay him even his current salary.  It’s a job that he may have been able to go for if I made more money, but now that I’m going part-time…  I don’t know, maybe I’m taking on too much of this.  He’s not telling me any of this, but maybe I’m trying to read too much into it.  I know it will work out fine, but there are so many balls in the air right now – finding a job for Hubs, buying a house, selling a house, figuring out where to live prior to buying the house, moving, cleaning…  What else?

Baby #2:  Oh right, almost forgot about that.  Started a FET cycle today…  Well really I’ve been taking birth control for awhile, but I stopped those and went in for CD3 blood work and ultrasound today and got clearance to start estrogen pills and patches.  Need to schedule the home nurse to do the intralipid infusion, get the rest of the meds, and the transfer is scheduled for October 5.  Holy crap, I can’t believe I’m doing this in the midst of everything else.  I really want to get it done as (a) I want another baby and want to get it done and (b) I don’t want to have to find a new RE when we move, and figure out shipping my embryos and everything.  But this cycle is so weird.  I find myself forgetting about it.  Like this morning I shaved my legs (something that doesn’t happen that often) because my husband was coming home from Denver tonight, and then realized at the doctor’s office that it was a good thing I had shaved my legs!  I hadn’t even thought about it in the shower – so unlike me!  But on the flip side, I feel so positive about this cycle.  Like October 5 is the day I’ll get knocked up.  And usually I don’t even throw a “maybe” at the end.  In my mind it’s something else to do – pack some boxes, pick up Alex from daycare, and get knocked up.  Like it’s a foregone conclusion!  I’m sure some doubt will creep in there at some point, but now it just seems so reasonable.  It’s like I’ve forgotten how tenuous this whole thing is.

Boot camp:  I’m very proud to report that I successfully made it through 8 weeks of boot camp!  I’m now 15 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight, and in the best shape of my adult life.  My plan was to get through the 8 weeks, and then stop as it was time for the FET cycle.  But I spoke with my RE, and he said I could continue exercising as long as it was no longer than 30 minutes per day, and my heart rate didn’t get over 140 beats per minute.  So I signed up for another boot camp!  Besides the two days of bed rest, I fully intend on doing boot camp, as they are 30 minute videos, six days per week!  I will need to modify the workouts, as my heart rate definitely gets over 140 at times, but I’m very excited to have a fit and healthy pregnancy, instead of the sedentary one I had last time.  I’m really hoping that I can maintain some level of fitness during this next pregnancy, as this has done wonders for my energy, my mood, and my sense of pride.  I’m so excited that for the first time in my life, I really feel in control of my health.  Yes, I’m still overweight, but I’m happy and feel good in my skin.  I’m a little disappointed that I have to stop this weight-loss trajectory with pregnancy, but I know that once I have my next baby, I can lose the weight, and become fit again.  Forever!!!

Overall, I’m doing really well.  So many things are unknown right now, which usually freaks me out.  But somehow I’m making it work.  I’m controlling the things I can.  I’m doing a good job at work, and trying to make every moment I have with Alex count.  I’m trying to be supportive with my husband as he figures out our future.  I’m very relaxed about where we’re going to live (unlike anyone I’ve asked, I’m willing to let hubs pick out our next house – can you imagine? He looked at 17 houses this weekend, and I’m very interested yet calm about it.  I know he’ll do a good job picking something out).  I’m going through our house and decluttering and cleaning, trying to minimize our stuff to move.  And I’m doing what we need to do to have another baby.  Occasionally I have minor freak out moments, but overall, things are good.  As long as I have my To Do list!

Oh, and one more thing!  At 10.5 months, we’re going to start transitioning to cloth diapers!  I really wanted to earlier, but no daycares around here would take them.  The daycares in Colorado are much more willing to do it.  So with more time at home to do laundry, and daycares that are willing, I just ordered 6 diapers to start trying for weekends and nights, with the plan to transition to full-time in November.  After lots of research, I’m starting with Thirsties Duo Diapers, which are pocket diapers.  I really like the convenience of all-in-ones or pockets, but pockets seem to dry faster according to reviews online.  I couldn’t decide on which pocket to go with, until I found that Thirsties is made in the USA, and it’s even a Colorado company!  Perfect!  I got 6 diapers, a few extra hemp inserts, a wet bag, some laundry detergent, and some flushable liners.  Can’t wait to get them and start!!!  Stay tuned…