Monday, August 27, 2012

Time for Change


A week ago, we went to Denver to visit family and friends.  Alex and I stayed for just the weekend, and Hubs stayed for a week.  Boy, things have changed in the last week.  We’ve talked about moving back to Colorado for a long time.  Five years ago, we moved to Texas with the intention of living here for three years - max.  We moved for Hubs’ job, but since then, he quit and got a new job, I’m still working for the same employer I found when we moved here, we got engaged, married, went through infertility, and had a child.  And we’re working on the next one.  We went from a place of debt to paying off most of our debt and we’re in great shape financially.  Our relationship is stronger than ever, and things are really good.  So why not shake everything up?

In the last week, I applied for a dream job in Denver (faculty at a private university – not really qualified, it’s a long shot, but I have some kick-ass recommendations and intro letters – a big wig I know is meeting with the president of the university today to recommend me), Hubs applied for a bunch of jobs and contacted recruiters, Hubs toured some houses in an area that we want to live, and I sat down with my boss, told him we were thinking of moving to Denver and asked if he would be interested in me working for him remotely, on a part-time basis.  And guess what!  He said yes!  We have tentatively agreed on a plan of working about 20 hours per week remotely, although he needs to get it cleared by executive management and HR.  But he won’t do that until I hear about the university thing, because like I told him, if I got the dream job, I would take it.

Although later it occurred to me that since I’m probably not qualified to be an assistant professor (dream job – PhD is preferred, but not required, I have a masters, and little teaching experience) but I bet I could get hired as adjunct faculty and teach a class or two here and there.  That would give me teaching experience, and maybe one day I could get a more full-time position.  So the current plan is to work for my current job 20 hours per week from home and hopefully teach a class at the university.  My MIL told me while we were in Denver that if we moved back, she would like to cut back her hours at her job and take care of Alex for two days per week.  So if all this worked out, I think I could get my 20 hours mostly in while my MIL took care of Alex, plus during a nap or two or weekend work if necessary, and teach a night class or something.  So in my little dream world, we could get rid of daycare!!!  I’ve been fighting with them lately – my little almost-10 month old is only taking one nap per day, which ranges from 40 minutes to 1.5 hours at the most.  She’s apparently lovely during the day, but by the time I get her, total meltdown!!!

All of this is so exciting, and yet so scary.  When I think about all this, I get tight in my chest, thinking of everything that needs to be done.  Put the house up for sale, clean it up first, move with 2 dogs and a baby, ugh!  Hubs sent me an email today asking what we need to do to finish our remodeling and get the house in Texas ready to sell by October.  This is what I said:
-Tile the floors
-Finish baseboards in living room
-Paint guest room
-Declutter everywhere
-Find a realtor
-Make a baby

Oh yeah, I forgot.  Amongst all this – gotta make a baby!  Only 3 more weeks of BCP’s, then the FET is upon us!  All this – so much freaking change!!!  It’s exciting, but terrifying too. 

And I’m not even ready to think through all this, but if my grand plan works out and I’m able to work from home for 20 hours per week, and be a SAHM for the rest of the week, will I be happy?  I like my job – the social parts, the people.  I like people!  Will I be happy being at home working, and then being at home as a mom?  I know I’ll need to do things like playgroups and such, both for Alex’s socialization and my own, but will this be enough?  And will I be good at it?  I’ve figured out most of this working mom thing.  Frantically running around, but still getting it all done.  Will I figure out the part-time SAHM thing?  How about the work from home thing?  I’ve spent the last fifteen years as a career woman, progressively moving my career up the ladder.  Will I be happy taking a step off the ladder?  I know I’m not the first woman to ask myself these questions, but wow – when it is actually a possibility that it could happen, it’s such a big deal!

I guess I need to take a deep breath, and think about what I really want.  For the last few months, I’ve had as my computer password some derivation of “priority” as a reminder to remember what is important.  Alex.  My health.  My marriage.  Our family.  Who knows how this will all play out – maybe it will take Hubs a long time to find a job, maybe it won’t.  Yes, change is scary, but also exciting.  It’s going to be a rough few months as all this stuff gets worked out, but hopefully a year from now, I will look up, and life will be fabulous.  What am I saying?  No matter how it works out, life will be fabulous.  The best thing is I truly believe this.  I guess I have nothing to worry about.

28 comments:

  1. Deep breath! One day at a time! Very exciting stuff : )

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  2. I love your computer password and what it makes you think of - very clever. I am an adjunct faculty at the university I work at and I LOVE the extra income, and enjoy working with the adult students. I really hope this all works out for you, it's a lot, but all doable and very exciting! Keep us posted!

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  3. Wow, what an exciting post! Cant wait to see how it all unfolds!

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  4. So exciting! I hope everything just falls into place!

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  5. Exciting possibilities. As someone who made all the same changes in a matter of 6 months, I wish you luck. And sanity. LOL! In all seriousness, I'm very excited for you and wish you luck with all the new opportunities.

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  6. Wow, so many changes sounds so exciting. I love change and challenges, I hope everything works out and you get your dream job!

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  7. You've posted before about how uninspiring your work is, and it sounds like the changes you'll make moving to Denver might actually be the perfect situation for you even if you don't get the dream job. Exciting!

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  8. Wow! So much going on! That all sounds so exciting... change can be hard, but is usually so so good! All the best for everything to come together just as it needs to over the next couple of months!

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  9. So exciting! Change is good. It definitely puts a diff light on your priorities and what really matters. I hope it all goes as you hope!

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  10. Oh my goodness- all this sounds fabulous! Moving to gorgeous Colorado, possible dream job, part time SAHM- perfect! I bet you will be a better SAHM than you think. For me, the key has been to have plans that require getting out of the house at least once/day. And being in Colorado, I'm sure there will be tons of outdoor activities you guys can get involved in with Alex. Fun stuff!

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  11. I feel like changes like this happen for a reason. Being near friends and family is huge. I am thrilled for all of the potential here, Alec, starting with that transfer!

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  12. This sounds super exciting and promising! Fingers crossed for you!

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  13. That is a lot of change... but you seem to have everything under control! I think you and I will be doing our FET's quite close together. Here's hoping you can sell your house and get settled soon. Keeping fingers crossed for you.

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  14. This is all very exciting! If B wanted to move our family, I've told him that the only place I'd go to quickly is Denver. We love Colorado. I am envious of you!

    I chose to be a SAHM on a whim - seriously. Two weeks before going back to work, I thought that I'd like to stay home with Matthew and that was that. It is hard, at first. Once you get into it, it's great. We get out at least once a day and we're very social. You'll love it if you decide to do it! No regrets here.

    Again, so envious!

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  15. Alex wow!! So much going on!! And to be honest with you, I think you are doing the right thing! I'll keep my fingers crossed everything will work out for the faculty position, if a PhD will get you further you may still look at doing it while working (it'll take a lot of effort and definitely a longer time, but you can do it!). If that doesn't work out the par time job sounds just perfect for the moment and you'll be closer to family which is a great help. And FET is nearly here! I'll be glued to the screen for your updates. Much love my friend, it would be fantastic to share yet again this journey. Fran

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  16. So much change, my friend!!! FX for you on the job, it sounds like it's an amazing opportunity.

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  17. Wow, you have a lot going on!!!!!! Good luck with all of it!

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  18. You are right: your life will be fab no matter how it works out. You have great options to consider. Good Luck with the dream job!

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  19. So many exciting things going on =) Hopefully one step at a time the master plan comes together!

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  20. Im checking too!

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    Replies
    1. Sheesh! It totally didn't work for me at work and gave me the same error that the captcha bogs do!! But you're right! It's off!! I'm sorry for calling you out! I just get so frustrated when I can't comment. And now I'm more frustrated cause I don't know WHY I can't comment...

      And this morning I had a whole comment typed out about how happy you sound and then it gave me an error message! But you sound so happy!!!

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  21. Woohoo, so many exciting things going on!! Love this! Good luck with everything!! :-D

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  22. What an awesome amount of change and some great new possibilities!!! I'm so excited for you and can't wait to see what happens!

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  23. Ah, so much exciting new potential. Hoping everything works out just the way you want it to.

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  24. The beautiful part about change is we always learn to adapt. If this is all what you really want, you will find a way to make it all work and be really stinking happy doing it. :) I think it is all very exciting.

    And 3 weeks from FET?! Holy crap! I'll be praying for your next little miracle.

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  25. Lots of changes coming up for you! Just remember to take it one day at a time. It sounds like such great opportunities for your family. Praying that it all works out!!

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