I had a job interview this morning. For a BIG JOB. Like the kind of job I had hoped to get at
this point in my life. It was only a
screening interview by the recruiter.
But I rocked it – I’d be willing to bet that the recruiter will
recommend that the company interview me.
The job is perfect – great money, great company, great management. But I think I’m going to decline any future
interviews.
I’ve always been a career woman, focused on the next step,
the promotion, the career path. I did
well in school, went to college and then grad school, focused on getting a good
job. A good career. And I’ve been successful. Currently I have a good job on paper. I make good money, I do interesting stuff, I
work with good people. And yet I’m bored
out of my mind. My job is no longer
challenging. For a couple weeks each
quarter, I work the entire day, and even a Saturday occasionally, but the rest
of the time, it’s a good day if I work for half the day. The rest of the time I’m surfing the internet,
reading blogs and articles, wasting time.
And yet my boss loves me and continues to give me high ratings. My employees think I’m busy, super effective
and what-not. It’s all a big ruse. I’m so comfortable it’s pitiful. This is embarrassing to me – I don’t tell
people this. My husband doesn’t even
know how little I actually do during the day.
I hate that my job is like this.
But I stay because it’s comfortable, and it fits my life. Yes, I have to be here during the day, but I
run out of the building at the end of the day and go get my Alex and love and
cuddle on her. And the little bit of
work that I do is interesting and generally challenges my mind, or at least
some of it does.
But today I interviewed for the BIG JOB. The one that would keep me busy all day long –
and beyond. The one that would take me
to the next level in my career. The one
that I figured I would want in my late 30’s.
And the one that I probably could get, if I fought hard in the interview
process.
I don’t think I’ll ever be a stay at home mom, I’m just not
cut out for it. In an ideal world, I
love the idea of staying home with Alex, but financial considerations
notwithstanding, I don’t think I would be very good at it. I have patience like I never thought possible
with little Alex. But if I were with her
24/7? I don’t know that I would. I’m not really sure. And so much of my identity is my working life
– I like being an accountant, and I like going to work. Ideally I would like to work three days per
week. I’ve talked about this with the
hubs, and we may pursue this if we move, which we’re still talking about –
someday. But right now working at my
easy job seems to be working well for us.
During the interview today, I got excited. It’s a challenging job at a company that is
going places. Very exciting times, and
management that is passionate and demanding.
I would thrive in this environment, and my days would go by so
quickly. I could rock this job. And yet…
I don’t think I’m going to pursue it. The recruiter asked about my willingness to
work in an “intense” environment. And
what would I do if someone told me I had to work on a presentation that was due
in a couple days with no notice. It all
sounds exciting, and so attractive. But
after I got off the phone, and started thinking about my life, and what is
really important now, my career just doesn’t seem that important. I feel lazy, but I’m happy in my comfortable easy
job. It doesn’t demand too much from
me. I can easily get to daycare – there’s
no struggle. I can come in a little late
if she’s being fussy. I can leave if she’s
sick. I can spend half the day
researching the best way to feed her…
I came across this article today, and it spoke to me. Every working mother, or aspiring working
mother, should read it. I’m struggling
with making the choice between my career and motherhood, or at least the
motherhood I want to have. Yes, it’s an
old struggle – one that has been done for years and by countless women. So far I’ve only struggled with how much time
to be away from Alex, and whether I should be working. But to make the choices of the easy job vs.
the big job – that’s a different kind of struggle. I’m glad I read this today. It gives me permission to take the “easy”
path. I guess I need to come to the
realization that I’m a parent now. My
desire for the amazing career may need to stand behind my desire to be a good
mother. Maybe not forever, but for
now.
Thank you for posting this. I just accepted a promotion at work prior to getting matched. I know that this new job will be demanding, so I'm a little nervous to see how this will work out when I'm also trying to balance a new baby. It's a relief to know that other women struggle with this as well.
ReplyDeleteHey! Glad to see you and Alex dong well. I had to go private because a job i interviewed for somehow found my blog and had a hissy fit about it. (idiots) but email me your email and i can add you back. take care! jaileah@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteWow, this is so exactly where I find myself right now! I am at the perfect point in my career to take the next step, but I am also at the perfect point in my life to stay right where I'm at (the cushy, easy job with half the hours worked from home and the office time incredibly flexible and easy). I feel guilty for staying, but at the moment, it gives me the life I want for my girls. Weird to be in this spot, isn't it? Best of luck to you as you decide for sure how to move forward. Go with your gut!
ReplyDeleteYou are the second blogger today to post a link to that article. : )
ReplyDeleteI am in the same position. I have an informal standing opportunity to make a whole lot more money and prestige. But I'd have to work through dinner a few times a month and I'm just not going to do it.
I wish we lived closer so we could be in real life friends.
Thanks for posting. This is me to a tee. Minus the interview!!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy with the balance my current job gives me and for now that is where my priority lies.
Either way good for you!!!
Thanks for the link- an interesting perspective, although I find myself feeling sorry for her husband, who has obviously assumed the lion's share of parenting responsibilities while still working full time-- yet she brazenly states that male parents don't have to make compromises or sacrifices! I think that that assumption really shows how far we have to go as a society... As for your career path, it is so hard to make these epic decisions while hormonal and sleep deprived! Good luck and keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteI am in such a similar position. We found out Tuesday my boss is leaving to be a SAHM. The rumors had been going around for a while and everyone asked if I wanted her job. I said no. I like not having too much responsibility at work, I like being able to blog and play on FB throughout the day. I could totally complete my work only working part time, yet I'm there 40 hours a week. And as soon as the clock says it's time to go, I'm outta there too! Congrats on killing the interview, but I totally understand being comfortable and not wanting to take on my responsibility at this point in your life. Let us know what you end up deciding!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was struggling with IVF, I realized early on that being a mother was my primary goal, not climb the corporate ladder. I am comfortable with my job and am happy knowing that at the end of the day, I can turn it off and be with my family. While my dream is to be a SAHM full-time, I have to work now, but know that I am truly blessed to work from home full-time.
ReplyDeleteThere are women who climb the corporate ladder AND are great moms. Hats off to them, but it's not for me. I think that it's great you know what you want right now and that's to have the flexibility to spend more time with Alex. The opportunities are always going to be there, but your baby will grow up before you know it!!
That would be a tough decision! I know I've sacrificed some things with my career path in order try to have a child. I did want to go back to school and get a higher position, but now I feel more family-oriented. But hey we can still be successful and be good mothers and have it all! Now it feels to me like having a family = having it all :-) Motherhood is the most demanding, yet rewarding job :-)
ReplyDeleteI will go check out that article...if it makes you feel better I feel the same way about work at this point. My emotional energy is all reserved for my family right now - no room for the high powered job right at the moment.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you just know - in a very inherent way - what is the right choice for you. And I think that's wonderful. Yeah, the "intense environment" would alert my trouble receptors, too. And there's nothing wrong with being comfortable in a job. It's clear you do a GOOD job, too, so it's not like you're shirking responsibilities. That work-life balance is so tough, and so different for so many people. I'm convinced that there's no right and no wrong, just what fits in any given situation.
ReplyDeleteWow, I could have written parts of this post! I have a great set up right now. Tons of flexibility, reasonable hours, minimal travel, but the next step up is a big one that would require a huge sacrifice of time with the girls. Tough, tough call for us women! I say go with your heart and you can't go wrong :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting, while I'm don't have a current interview, I'm in a similar position. Always been a career person. My husband and I were married for 9 years before our little guy came along, and we focused on our careers. In the past few years my husband has climbed fast, and while I like my job, love my boss, it's not completely challenging to me. But with my husband's career on the move, the comfortable job with flexible hours and five minutes from daycare seem to fit our lives right now. I keep questioning if I am making the wrong decision for MY life, but I know deep down that I will not regret the sacrifices of my career for my son's well-being. I don't think there is any right answer, and I think all of us working mom's struggle with this from time to time. Maybe if this opportunity isn't right, right now, another opportunity will come along that will be the perfect balance for you! Good luck on your decision!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are where you need to be in the stage of life you are in right now. I hope the 3 days/week thing works out- sounds perfect!
ReplyDeleteGod knew what he was doing when he programmed us to be true mothers after our babies were born. But even more than that, you had to fight hard for little Alex, and the Big Job in comparison to spending time with her is just a no-brainer. Maybe one day when she gets a little older you will feel like taking that Big Job, but for now, your baby is still a baby, and it makes sense to stay in your comfortable, boring job. I can totally relate.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, do what you know will make you the happiest. :)
I think we never know how motherhood will affect us, until we're there. It never dawned on me that I'd want to stay home with my boys. In fact, after the kid was born, I didn't want to. It wasn't until E came along that I ever felt that pull. I'm with you, I think 3 days working would be perfect. It's interesting how babies shift our priorities.
ReplyDeleteWOW, I SOOOo understand this post, and though I don't have the "big" job in my future right now, I feel the same way you do. I'm not sure I could even WANT to go for it right now. I'm working 35-40 hrs a week right now over 4 days, and that allows me 3 days with my daughter, but I would LOVE to stay home another day (though like you, I don't think I could be a full time SAHM). Good food for thought...
ReplyDelete