Monday, June 4, 2012

Feeling Crappy

It’s my 37th birthday, and I’m feeling crappy, and so I feel like whining - sorry in advance.  I’ve spent the entire weekend listening to my husband whine about being sick, and listening to my little Alex whine because she’s sick (I would take baby whining over husband whining any day of the week!), that I feel like it’s my turn to whine a little.  I’m tired of being Miss Positivity, and I just want someone to be nice to me.  Is that so much to ask???

-I’m sick of my baby being sick.  I like the daycare she’s in, but it seems like she’s always sick.  I know that this is very common with daycare babies, but it seems absurd!  She always has a runny nose, coughs occasionally, last week had pink eye, has had multiple rounds of stomach viruses, and rarely goes a week without being sick of some sort.  I spend too much time at doctor’s offices, and urgent care places on the weekend.  None of it has been truly awful, and she is very happy throughout most of the sickness, but I want a healthy baby!  And it pisses me off that most of this is due to being at daycare.

-I’m not feeling the love on my birthday.  My husband forgot this morning and didn’t say anything prior to leaving for work.  He emailed me later, but still.  We agreed to do no gifts this year for each other (his birthday is this Saturday) and instead get the floors tiled.  I know I agreed to this, but I’m not that excited about this.  Floor tiles – how thoughtful.  And he hasn’t even made the arrangements yet so who knows if it will every happen.  I have something small planned for the hubs, but I guarantee he won’t do anything even small.  We have plans to go out to dinner for our birthdays this weekend and get a babysitter, but it’s on his birthday so it will be all about him, I know it.  I know I’m completely whiny about this, but I want some love!

-I twisted my ankle this morning.  I’m wearing these stupid 3 inch heels, and while carrying Alex, I went out to the mailbox (hoping for a birthday card – ridiculous, I know) and I twisted my ankle.  I almost fell but over-recovered since I was holding Alex, and I hurt my ankle.  Stupidly, I didn’t take the blasted heels off today, and my ankle is hurting worse and worse.  I’m afraid I sprained it, and walking around all day on these stupid heels is not helping.

-I’m pretty sure my boss forgot my birthday.  His wife cooks cakes for all of us in our department every year, and a couple weeks ago I put in my order for carrot cake – she makes the best carrot cake.  I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks, and he forgot.  I’m sure he’ll ask her to do it later this week, but I really wanted it today.

-I feel nauseous after my lunch.  I have had some poopy issues all morning, and now I feel nauseous.  So I’m probably getting another stomach virus.  The greatest thing about having a child in daycare is not only does she get sick, but she brings home sickness too!  What a fabulous treat.  Hubs and I have never been so sick ever – just passing around these little illnesses, I’m pretty sure that’s what’s about to happen – lovely.

-Either that or I’m pregnant.  I’m officially 1 week late.  Which has never happened in my life.  BUT I’ve only had one period since being pregnant, so I assume my body is still a bit wonky.  Plus I had egg whites a week later than usual, so I assume I’ll get my period in the next day or so.  Maybe that’s why I’m so grumpy – standard PMS.  But I hate the mindfuck that I put myself through, wondering if I’m pregnant.  Wondering if I could be that urban legend – you know, the girl who’s infertile but magically becomes fertile after pregnancy.  It’s bullshit, really, the fantasies that come back so quickly…  I refuse to POAS, as I don’t want all the hope and then disappointment that comes with it, but the longer I wait to POAS, the longer I can dream…  But part of me wonders if it can be true, in which case I need to take more folic acid and start the Lovenox, and…  STOP!!!  I hate doing this to myself.

I just need to make it through today, and stop the petulant temper tantrum.  It’s just another day, a regular old Monday when I’m tired.  I need to forget all the possibilities, and stop being so sensitive about my birthday.  I need to get back to my normal positivity, and be happy.  Maybe tomorrow…

24 comments:

  1. Sending you some much-needed love and hugs on your birthday. <3

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  2. Happy Birthday!

    I feel you on the daycare baby sickness. My son will go for maybe a week at a time without at least a runny nose. I'm always crossing my fingers that it doesn't turn into anything worse!

    Sometimes husbands just don't get it. Even if you agree to no gifts, you should still get something. A card maybe? Flowers? Don't feel bad about feeling bad about that! I would too!

    How crazy would it be if you were one of the fertile after pregnancy people?!? It does suck that your body is teasing you like that though. How long will you wait to POAS?

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  3. Happy birthday first of all!! I've learned after a few disappointments that we must spell it out if we want things done for Mother's Day, birthdays, Christmas', etc. I know it takes away the element of surprise, but at least you want feel low and disappointed on what's supposed to be special occasions. I'm dreading once we get Chloe into a true daycare all the sickness she brings home. I hope you all feel better soon! And enjoy going out for YOUR birthday too this weekend! :)

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  4. Happy Birthday, doesn't it seem the older we get the less fuss that is made. I always tell myself it's no big deal but it is nice to have people show their love. I guess they figure because we are so low maintenance they don't have to do anything but that isn't the case. At the very least a happy birthday greeting would be nice. Anyways, sorry to hear this and I hope your day gets better!
    P.S. Men are such sucks when they get sick, it's like the world is going to end!

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  5. I'm sorry this day is not so exciting. RE the constant sick baby. My kids are in day care and my experience was after a year or year and half of colds they are rock solid. Hope that happens for you and for my 2nd one.

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  6. I'll send some birthday love your way!!

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  7. What a shitty birthday! I'm so sorry! I hope the rest of the week makes up for it.

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  8. Oh sweetie, I'm sorry! We all love you and are sending you hugs, cards and flowers today on your 37th birthday. Hope your DH manages to do something for you today. If not, hold your little girl close and know that she is the best present in the whole wide world =) I will join you in August and am thinking 37 is going to rock for us. Wish I had better news on the daycare illness front. My ped told me to expect 2 colds per month with a daycare baby and each lasts 7-10 days...which means 14-20 days of each month she is sick. She just turned 2 last week and has had 35 illnesses *ugh* I got almost all of them the first year and then the second year I only got one out of every 3 or 4. Everyone says it'll be worth it because our kids won't get sick when they start school. I'm holding them to that!

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  9. Happy Birthday. Sorry that today didn't go very well. Many hugs.

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  10. Aww I'm sorry! Sending you lots of love and hugs!! <3 xoxo

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  11. Happy belated birthday! Keep your chin up, lady-- this shit can be hard. And now I know how hard it can be with a SICK baby. What do you do about congestion? That was the worst part-- unable to breastfeed, it was SO hard to comfort her!!

    How did your b-day work out? Did Dh step up?? I hope so! And I hope your ankle is better.

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  12. happy happy birthday mommabear!! fingers crossed that baby alex feels better soon and that the ickies stay away. i feel your pain on having a baby who is constantly getting sick. we're not in daycare, but see the same babies every day and someone is always sick and passing it along. hopefully, by next winter, their immune systems will be kick ass and no more sickietimes!! hope you had a fabulous day :o) xoxo.

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  13. Happy Birthday and HUGS! Sorry things aren't going your way- hope your day has gotten better and this weekend you can celebrate YOU and not just your hubby! Fingers crossed on the pregnancy thing too- how cool would that be?!?!

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  14. Sometimes we all need to whine. You don't have to apologize! I hope you birthday ended better than it started - happy belated birthday :)

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  15. happy birthday! I'm sorry it wasn't that great and I really hope you're not getting sick.

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  16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

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  17. Happy birthday my sweet friend!! Sending lots of positive thoughts and energy your way!

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  18. Happy birthday Alex! I hope that your day improved :) You deserve to whine as much as you want. I hope that you treated yourself to something special, you deserve it!

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  19. Happy belated birthday. I hope your week has improved since Monday. I think a piece of cake for YOU is in order on your date this weekend!

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  20. Happy Belated Birthday-I'm sorry I missed it. Hugs and hope your week got better!!!

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  21. Happy belated birthday, hope you are feeling better!

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  22. Happy belated birthday, I'm sorry it wasn't what you wanted. Hope things are settled now and you had a great dinner and some time together over the weekend.

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  23. You know if we were friends IRL, I totally would have celebrated your bday with you!!!

    I hope hubby redeemed himself! Hop you have a good week.

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