Having my cake and eating it too

Well not really – trying to avoid desserts during boot camp.  BUT – I get to finish boot camp AND start my FET with this cycle!  I went to the doc today for my day 3 blood work and ultrasound, and got one of my favorite nurses.  I have to say, it’s nice having years of experience with these ladies.  They’re definitely more willing to work with me than they were when I first walked through that door!  As the doc said during my consult, everyone in the office works well with those that have been patients for a long time – it’s like having frequent flier status.  Glad to know the fortunes I have sunk into that office have been worth something.  You know, in addition to my baby…

Anyway, the doc had originally told me that I would be on BCP for three weeks prior to the actual FET cycle, but the nurse told me today that this is flexible: minimum of 2 weeks, max of 6.  When I run out of the active pills in the first batch (after starting them today), just start another batch!  Woohoo!  So now I can perfectly tailor my FET cycle to start after the end of boot camp, and even schedule the transfer on a Friday so I can minimize the days off work for bed rest.  How much does a FET cycle rock compared to a fresh IVF cycle!  I’m so lucky to have these embryos, I’m so thankful for them.  

Boot camp is going very well.  I didn’t lose weight during the 2^nd week, and instead increased by 0.4 pounds.  But everything is fitting better – I retired my size 14 pants and pulled out the 12’s.  And my body fat percentage went from 34.7% last week to 32.4% this week.  So I guess I really am building muscle.  Last week I didn’t focus very much on my nutrition, but I’m trying to step that part up – eating lots of healthy snacks, minimizing the bad stuff.  I have a feeling that next week the scale will go down again.

I’m so proud of myself for committing to boot camp, and for doing this.  I’m running, and actually enjoying it.  I’m seeing results in being able to run farther and faster.  Every Saturday, I’m going on a “long run” which consists of a 5 minute walking warm-up, then a “long run” with distances increasing every week, and then a cool down and stretch.  I run around this pond in a nearby park, and it’s almost exactly 0.5 mile per lap.  The first Saturday of boot camp, I ran one lap, and it was hard, but I did it.  Half a mile in 8 minutes.  Then last Saturday (one week later), I ran two laps, nonstop.  The last hundred yards or so was really hard, but I did it.  One mile in 13 minutes.  I haven’t run a mile since freshman year in high school.  23 years ago!  I can’t believe I did this, and I’m looking forward to Saturday when I attempt (crush!) 1.5 miles.  More than anything, I’m shocked that I’m actually looking forward to running!

You guys are going to have to forgive me if this comes across like bragging a bit.  My husband has been giving me weird reactions to comments I make about boot camp.  The first week, I would tell him when I worked out, and when I lost weight.  He would say “good job.”  But he would be kind of sarcastic, and he wouldn’t say anything else.  He definitely wasn’t enthusiastic like I wanted him to be.  So I stopped telling him about what I was doing.  I realized I’m not doing this for him; I’m only doing this for me.  Maybe he’s jealous because he doesn’t exercise and is overweight as well.  Maybe he sees me getting in shape and feels bad that he’s not.  I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, because if it were him doing this, I would be a huge cheerleader.  I kind of want a cheerleader, but I realized I’m going to have to be my own cheerleader.

Every time I work out, I put a star on my calendar in my kitchen.  I love looking at all the stars adding up.  Six days per week, finishing before 6:30 in the morning so I can be done and showered before Alex wakes up, and I haven’t missed one.  (Well, I missed one morning, but I exercised that evening to make up for it, so I haven’t missed a workout.)  I have my hysteroscopy this Friday so I’m going to have to skip a workout but I’ll make up for it on Sunday, my normal rest day.  I really want to be able to say that no matter what the scale looks like, I did my absolute best for these eight weeks.  I’m over 2 weeks in, and I’m doing great.  Finally, I’m doing something for myself, for my body, and my body is doing exactly what I’m asking it to do.  It’s getting up early every morning, going outside in the dark, and running.  One foot after the other, I’m getting my self-confidence, my spirit, my energy back.  Yes, at the end of this boot camp, I will have to quit this intensity of working out in order to move on to the FET.  But I will know that I can do it again.  I will know that I accomplished something huge – something that I questioned if it was possible at the beginning.  I will know it’s possible to be fit, because I did it already.