Sunday, April 21, 2013

Scariness


We have officially reached the scary part of my pregnancy, at 31 weeks. It started 3 weeks ago at a growth scan. Both boys had been measuring great and there have been no issues. 7 weeks ago, Twin A was 48% on the growth scale, and Twin B was 32%. 3 weeks ago, Twin A dropped to 23% and Twin B was at 29%. My doc was a little concerned, particularly about Twin A, but she said everything is fine as long as nobody is 10% or lower.

Well, two days ago I went in for another growth scan and Twin A is now 10.8%, and Twin B is 20%. Suddenly my doc is concerned. 3 weeks ago my c-section was scheduled for 38 weeks 4 days, and now she says there's no way they'll let me go past 37 weeks, particularly if Twin A decreases or stays the same. Now every week I go into the doc to check blood flow to the babies. This looked fine at my visit, but if it ever decreases they will deliver immediately. And another growth scan in 3 weeks.

The other scary thing is my blood pressure has started to rise, and they're worried about pre-eclampsia. On Friday my blood pressure was 122/89, and my doc said if the second number is ever over 90 then it's a problem. An hour later it dropped to 122/86, so she was less concerned, but she told me to get a BP monitor and check at home daily.

So yesterday I was at home and started to feel swollen in my face and hands. I laid down, and sent the hubs to get a BP monitor. I checked it, and it was 125/95. So I called the MFM on call, and she told me to get to the hospital! I left the hubs with Alex and went to the hospital, where they monitored the babies and my BP for about 2 hours. My BP jumped all over the place, the highest being 140/90. But it was mostly lower. And they checked my blood and urine for signs of pre-eclampsia, noting none. So they sent me home with a jug for collecting my urine over 24 hours, and told me to come back if the BP gets higher.

Because of the BP and the restricted growth, I'm on kinda bedrest. At least that's what I'm calling it. I pressed my doc about what that means exactly, and she said I should live the couch potato lifestyle, and only do what I have to. In her words, if I have to go to the grocery store, go, but try to get someone else to do it. Same with running after a toddler.  The ambiguity almost makes it harder, as I have to ask for everything, and really think if it’s a “have to” or not.  My husband has been working crazy hours – for the last few weeks he has been coming home between 9 and 12 at night.  So it’s not like he’s around even to ask. 

The best thing in the world, the blessing in all of this, is our au pair from France arrived on Friday.  She’s still getting acclimated, and she hasn’t officially started working yet, but I really like her so far, and she seems very excited and eager to help.  She and Alex are getting along great, and AP (au pair) seems to really enjoy spending time with Alex.  This week I will be showing AP around, and how to do her job.  But I will also start leaving her in charge for long periods of time, so I’m very interested to see how she does.  I’m sure it will be weird being in the house while she’s in charge – I need to shut my office door and allow her to really be in charge, without me hovering.  But I’m excited and hopeful that she will be good.  Her English is a little rough, so we’re spending a little time with sign language and trying out new words, but I think it will work out well.  Thank God she showed up the same day as I was prescribed bedrest – kinda. 

I’m trying to remain positive about my boys, but it’s hard.  I’m just so afraid that I will have to deliver early.  Between the low growth and the high BP, there are a couple things working against my plan to keep these boys cooking as long as possible.  I know with the medical field now, that there is a high chance of survival in the NICU, with nothing wrong at the end, but it would be a tough road if I delivered now.  The really good thing is I have no signs of pre-term labor – no real contractions, my cervix still looks like a wall of steel – but that doesn’t matter if the doc decides it’s too risky to stay pregnant.  I keep talking to these little boys of mine, telling them to grow, grow, grow!  I’m drinking protein shakes like they’re going out of style – constantly eating, I’m so sick of food.  And I’m really trying to be good and stay off my feet as much as possible – so hard to do.  But it will all be worth it if my boys can cook as long as possible!

25 comments:

  1. hey there, I just wanted to drop you a line; just found your blog. I also have twins with a toddler at home, mine are now almost 7 months. But I dealt with similar things (the pee jug, etc). Although when I got sent home with my pee jug at 34w3d, I went into labor that night when my water broke. Just wanted to say that I totally get it, and hopefully you can hold out for a couple more weeks!!! I know it's scary, and it's wonderful that you have an AP!!!!!!

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  2. Scary stuff. BUT 31 weeks is great and you're doing nothing more now than buying them more time. I know you want to get to 36 or so weeks, but you're doing great and now have them at a very strong developmental age, thank goodness! The NICU is scary, but they're far enough along to do really well.

    Good luck with the pre eclampsia. That worries me more than the 31 weeks.

    Hang in there!

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  3. Oh my - so stressful! I am so so sorry you are dealing with this. I will definitely pray those sweet boys keep cooking, your BP stays down, and the AP works out great. Hugs!

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  4. I had the same bedrest, but no toddler, so it was MUCH easier on me.

    Thank God for your AP!!!!! Right in time!!!

    I hope you make it to 36 weeks, but at this point you have gotten them soooo far, the rest will be icing on the cake! But I understand it is easier for me to say that, because I am not in the middle of it.

    Thinking of you and hoping you and your boys will be fine and make it to 36+ weeks!!!!!

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  5. Any one of these things would be stressful enough, but altogether it is too much. Rest, mama. And solid thoughts to those boys to cook and arrive heathy and ready.

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  6. I'm so glad the au pair arrived just in time! I hope she'll be able to help with little Alex and the groceries so that you can get the rest you and your boys need. Sending many good thoughts your way.

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  7. Oh, this all sounds so stressful! At least you have dr.'s orders to take it easy, so you don't have to feel guilty about not running around after Alex. And as scary as this feels, chances are phenomenal that you'll make it at least a few more weeks-- long enough to give your boys enough to make it stupendously on the outside. And hopefully long enough to avoid any time in the NICU altogether. Thinking of you and happy that support arrived in time... xoxo

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  8. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry sweetie! It must be very overwhelming and scary. I'm glad you have the au pair to help out now! I hope she settles in nicely! My current kinda-bedrest is the same thing - very confusing! Basically I try to err on the side of caution whenever I'm in doubt. Still though, it would be nice if they could be more specific! I hope your urine stays clear and your blood pressure lowers - or at least doesn't get any higher. I will definitely pray for your health! As for the babies, I pray their growth doesn't drop any further! If you can make it a little longer, I bet they will be in good shape. You're doing great momma. Keep hanging in there. I will be thinking of you & the babies!! Lots of hugs & love!

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  9. Alex, I'm keeping everything crossed petal! 32 weeks will be already a great place to be and 34 definitely very safe. Trust the docs. Much love, Fran

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  10. Well I can certainly relate to the bed rest part. It is so hard to let others do things for you. But you just have to let things go and keep reminding yourself it is only for a few more weeks. And believe it or not, I find it passing more quickly than I thought it would. Sending you and the boys good thoughts. Hang in there!

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  11. (hugs) take it one day at a time, mama!

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  12. Oh man, I'm so thankful your au pair arrived at the perfect time! Hopefully this will help to take some pressure off of you and give you the time to just SIT and try to keep those babies cooking. I'm sure this is scary, but we are all rooting for you!!

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  13. Happy you're hanging in there and also happy your help arrived just in the nick of time! Sending lots of stay put vibes to those babes and {{{HUGS}}} to you.

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  14. I'm so sorry this is frightening and frustrating. It's great that you're at 31 weeks though--I'm sure everything will be just fine in the end. I imagine that it must be irritating to not have clear orders from the doctor when you have to put so much on hold. I'm glad your au pair has arrived though--use her and get the rest you need!

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  15. Perfect timing for help to arrive, I'm so glad your AP is with you now. It is scary, but like everyone has said, do what you can and know that you are in the home stretch. We're all thinking of you!

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  16. Holding you guys in prayer, and wishing for a nice, full term delivery.

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  17. So glad that the au pair is there! I could barely function at 31 weeks and I wasn't trying to chase around a toddler!! Hoping everything stays calm as much as it can!!

    Cook, little boys, cook!!!

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  18. It's definitely scary! I hope things get back to a calmer state for you. Thank goodness the AP arrived. Perfect timing. Hoping she is able to give you the couch potato life you need! Fingers crossed you hold out a few more weeks!

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  19. Yikes! Hang in there little ones and you too mama! I hope those boys stay put for another month. In the mean time, put your feet up!

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  20. I hope you can get some rest since the au pair is there. Hope those boys stay snuggled in for a little bit longer! Praying for you guys.

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  21. Alex - can you send me your name/home address again? I think I accidently deleted it from my email. You can email me at ngoway@msn.com

    Thanks mama!

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  22. I hope as I type this you are couch-potatoing it up as much as possible. Those instructions from your dr would drive me batty too... too gray-area for me for sure. Hopefully the au pair is taking some of the pressure of toddler care off of you and that those boys are planning on staying put for a while longer. Thinking of you. xoxo

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  23. hang in there little boys and keep cooking!

    Hope the au pair is helping a lot (so glad you guys decided to do that) and you're able to keep couch potato status up without too much stress.

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  24. So happy that your au pair is here and that she can help you with alex so that you can be on bed rest
    Thinking of you and your boys!!

    xoxoxo

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