Reporting From the Hospital

Before anyone gets excited/worried/whatever, the boys are not here yet.  I’m just spending the night in the hospital  for observation.  The last couple weeks have been tough, and every day seems to get worse.  I monitor my blood pressure daily, and it is slowly getting higher and higher.  I spent a few hours two weeks ago in labor & delivery triage getting monitored, and had the lovely experience of collecting my urine for 24 hours at home.  I go every week for Doppler checks to make sure the blood flow to the babies look good, and am scheduled for another growth scan on Friday.  But today my blood pressure was higher than it had been before, so I called the high risk nurse, and they told me to come to the hospital as soon as possible to get monitored.

I showed up, and about two hours later felt completely foolish.  I feel like I continue to cry wolf about my high blood pressure, and then nothing is really wrong.  So my doctor sat me down, telling me I officially have the diagnosis of pregnancy induced hypertension, and that now my threshold to come in is any number over 160/110 (either number higher than the threshold), instead of the previous threshold of 140/90.  She wanted me to take home another 24 hour urine jug, and was just waiting for the blood test results to send me home.  And then… the blood test results came in.  My creatinine levels are elevated, which can show impaired kidney function.  Sweet.  So my doc immediately changed her tune, and told me that I would be staying in the hospital for 24 hours to do the urine test, and repeat blood work, and 2 steroid shots, 24 hours apart, to help develop the boys’ lungs.  Even before the blood work came back, my doc told me she is pretty sure I will develop pre-eclampsia within the next two weeks or so.  Now, she’s testing to see if it has already happened.

So best case scenario, I get to leave the hospital tomorrow in the early evening, continue to monitor blood pressure, stay on modified bed rest, and try to get a few more weeks under my belt.  I think medium case scenario, I stay in the hospital for hospital bed rest, continue to get monitored, and if/when it gets bad, they’ll do a c-section.  Worst case is the results of the tests look really bad, and we do a c-section really soon, maybe tomorrow night…  Wow – that’s scary when I actually write it down.  I’m 33 weeks + 2 days today, so if I deliver tomorrow, we’re definitely looking at some significant NICU time. 

I’m amazingly calm right now, sitting in the hospital by myself.  Even when I spoke with the hubs, I never broke down or anything.  Right now I’m just hanging out in this hospital room by myself, bored out of my mind.  When was the last time I just hung out for 24 hours in bed, by myself, watching TV or reading?  Ever?  No toddler running around, no hubby to argue with about what to watch, no au pair to get to know, no laundry or anything to do!  This is so weird, I’m trying to enjoy the rest and relaxation, but it’s hard.  Is it wrong that I’m looking forward to the ambien my doc prescribed me for tonight???

Thank God my au pair is here.  She has been great.  It’s fun getting to know her, and she’s really good with Alex.  Between my hubs, my MIL and my au pair, I know that Alex will be taken care of, even if I have to spend a lot of time in the hospital.  Of course I miss her terribly.  If I have to stay here for awhile, I hope someone brings her to see me…  My little girl is now 18 months old, and I’m sure she doesn’t understand why Mama isn’t there tonight, and won’t be there in the morning.  My husband is changing his work schedule to go in later than normal, to work around the au pair’s schedule, so he can take care of Alex.  He really has been great, and I’m trying to show my appreciation.  Bed rest, even modified, has been tough.  I have such a hard time letting go of things around the house.  Everybody puts things in the “wrong” place, my husband leaves things all over – he just doesn’t see clutter on surfaces like I do, and it has been driving me nuts to have to rely on everybody else.  I know I need to get used to it – if I do go home tomorrow, I’m sure modified, or even more strict bed rest, will continue.  And when the boys are here and I bring them home, I’m going to need to rely on everybody else to keep the house running while I take care of them, but man is it hard to give up control.  And why is it easier to watch my MIL clean my house than my mom???  I’m almost 38 years old, you would think that I need to get over this.  But when my mom offers to go in my room to change my sheets and clean up, I cringe.  I’m immediately sent back to being a kid, getting yelled at by her because my room is a mess.  Ugh – I guess we never really grow up in certain respects…

Now I will go, just hanging out in this crazy bed that adjusts constantly so I’ll avoid bed sores – should make sleeping interesting.  Everybody has given me a hard time about choosing a hospital that is an hour away from home, when there are great delivery hospitals much closer to home.  But this place has either the best or 2^nd best NICU in town, depending on what you read.  And I’m currently in an entire wing devoted to women on hospital bed rest.  Amazing really – it’s a whole high risk floor.  The only people on this floor are those on bed rest or moms that have given birth but their babies are in the NICU.  I can definitely tell this place is designed for me.  I had hoped to not need the rock star NICU or high risk services, but here I am.  I didn’t want to be here, but at least I’m in good hands.