Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Having my cake and eating it too


Well not really – trying to avoid desserts during boot camp.  BUT – I get to finish boot camp AND start my FET with this cycle!  I went to the doc today for my day 3 blood work and ultrasound, and got one of my favorite nurses.  I have to say, it’s nice having years of experience with these ladies.  They’re definitely more willing to work with me than they were when I first walked through that door!  As the doc said during my consult, everyone in the office works well with those that have been patients for a long time – it’s like having frequent flier status.  Glad to know the fortunes I have sunk into that office have been worth something.  You know, in addition to my baby…

Anyway, the doc had originally told me that I would be on BCP for three weeks prior to the actual FET cycle, but the nurse told me today that this is flexible: minimum of 2 weeks, max of 6.  When I run out of the active pills in the first batch (after starting them today), just start another batch!  Woohoo!  So now I can perfectly tailor my FET cycle to start after the end of boot camp, and even schedule the transfer on a Friday so I can minimize the days off work for bed rest.  How much does a FET cycle rock compared to a fresh IVF cycle!  I’m so lucky to have these embryos, I’m so thankful for them.  

Boot camp is going very well.  I didn’t lose weight during the 2nd week, and instead increased by 0.4 pounds.  But everything is fitting better – I retired my size 14 pants and pulled out the 12’s.  And my body fat percentage went from 34.7% last week to 32.4% this week.  So I guess I really am building muscle.  Last week I didn’t focus very much on my nutrition, but I’m trying to step that part up – eating lots of healthy snacks, minimizing the bad stuff.  I have a feeling that next week the scale will go down again.

I’m so proud of myself for committing to boot camp, and for doing this.  I’m running, and actually enjoying it.  I’m seeing results in being able to run farther and faster.  Every Saturday, I’m going on a “long run” which consists of a 5 minute walking warm-up, then a “long run” with distances increasing every week, and then a cool down and stretch.  I run around this pond in a nearby park, and it’s almost exactly 0.5 mile per lap.  The first Saturday of boot camp, I ran one lap, and it was hard, but I did it.  Half a mile in 8 minutes.  Then last Saturday (one week later), I ran two laps, nonstop.  The last hundred yards or so was really hard, but I did it.  One mile in 13 minutes.  I haven’t run a mile since freshman year in high school.  23 years ago!  I can’t believe I did this, and I’m looking forward to Saturday when I attempt (crush!) 1.5 miles.  More than anything, I’m shocked that I’m actually looking forward to running!

You guys are going to have to forgive me if this comes across like bragging a bit.  My husband has been giving me weird reactions to comments I make about boot camp.  The first week, I would tell him when I worked out, and when I lost weight.  He would say “good job.”  But he would be kind of sarcastic, and he wouldn’t say anything else.  He definitely wasn’t enthusiastic like I wanted him to be.  So I stopped telling him about what I was doing.  I realized I’m not doing this for him; I’m only doing this for me.  Maybe he’s jealous because he doesn’t exercise and is overweight as well.  Maybe he sees me getting in shape and feels bad that he’s not.  I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, because if it were him doing this, I would be a huge cheerleader.  I kind of want a cheerleader, but I realized I’m going to have to be my own cheerleader.

Every time I work out, I put a star on my calendar in my kitchen.  I love looking at all the stars adding up.  Six days per week, finishing before 6:30 in the morning so I can be done and showered before Alex wakes up, and I haven’t missed one.  (Well, I missed one morning, but I exercised that evening to make up for it, so I haven’t missed a workout.)  I have my hysteroscopy this Friday so I’m going to have to skip a workout but I’ll make up for it on Sunday, my normal rest day.  I really want to be able to say that no matter what the scale looks like, I did my absolute best for these eight weeks.  I’m over 2 weeks in, and I’m doing great.  Finally, I’m doing something for myself, for my body, and my body is doing exactly what I’m asking it to do.  It’s getting up early every morning, going outside in the dark, and running.  One foot after the other, I’m getting my self-confidence, my spirit, my energy back.  Yes, at the end of this boot camp, I will have to quit this intensity of working out in order to move on to the FET.  But I will know that I can do it again.  I will know that I accomplished something huge – something that I questioned if it was possible at the beginning.  I will know it’s possible to be fit, because I did it already.

22 comments:

  1. Wow, good for you! I just ordered a new pair of running shoes in an effort to motivate my jiggly hiney in to gear. I have GOT to get back to my regular weight - I miss all my old clothes. :)

    Keep kicking ass!

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  2. Good for you! How awesome to see results already.

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  3. Good for you!!! It sounds like hard work, but it is paying off!!!!!! Congrats!

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  4. Awesome Job! I also do a boot camp class and it's such a great workout! Congrats on the positive attitude, you can do this!

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  5. Awesome!It's great that you are enjoying your workouts and have found some good motivators. Also sounds like good things are happening in your journey to #2- so exciting!

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  6. Super proud of you!! I'm very impressed, both with the working out and with your positive attitude toward everything!!

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  7. You go girl! Time doesn't matter. Weight doesn't matter. Distance doesn't matter. Your state of mind does! And you're kicking ass!

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  8. That's great Alex! And I am happy that you are moving forward with the FET too. I have been thinking since your last post-- I think it is better to ttc when you aren't quite ready than it is when you ARE, and then it's just a huge emotional minefield. We are starting ttc this month, and it is so emotional for me. I hate being back in this place and wanting it so badly-- and I'm not even through my first cycle back in the saddle again! I don't know how I am going to make it. I might have to resurrect my IF blog to deal with all of these feelings, which I so stupidly believed I was done with when my pregnancy with p was finally successful. Now they're back, more raging than ever. Ttc SUCKS!! Let's all just get it over with for a lifetime, huh?

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  9. awesome, Alex!! go you! So excited for your FET cycle!

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  10. That's so great! And brag away, sister! You have major bragging rights right now! I'm so happy for you. It must feel so great to make the progress you have made. And you are definitely going to be in better shape for your FET and hopefully that spells success for you. Go, Alex, go!

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  11. I'm so happy for you...and proud of you!! You are rocking this in a big way and I love that you are doing it for yourself. Definitely keep us updated on the FET and how that's going along with your boot camp.

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  12. Way to go Alex!!! You are rockin this boot camp =) I started BCPs for a FET on Monday so we're cycle buddies. Best of luck to you!

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  13. You are an inspiration! This is so awesome. Happy to be a cheerleader! Go and kick some ass, dear. Each step is a leap to your goal.

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  14. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited!! What a great plan! Woot! You go girl, you can do it!!

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  15. Wow, you're amazing! I can't imagine getting up and working out so early! Go you! (Also, I just started reading, and noticed today that our little girls were born the exact same day. Cool.)

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  16. You go girl!!! Sorry your husband isnt more supportive, mines the same way and it sucks but you do realize--I am doing this for ME. Good luck with the FET!

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  17. You go, girl! I'm so happy that you get to continue with your boot camp AND move forward with your FET, that is just great. You will feel so fit when you move into your cycle, you will be in a great place physically and mentally. I am wishing you all the best and am cheering you on!

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  18. Can I borrow some of your motivation? Rock it!

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  19. Well done!!! I'll be your cheerleader, not to worry!! Delighted the FET can be schedule to meet your needs!! Much love, Fran

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  20. Fantastic for you!! I think you might be right about your husband. I could imagine that what he's feeling is that he's not keeping up in comparison to you. I wonder if there are subtle ways you might encourage him to join you in some way? I'm thinking cajoling him into joining you will probably just create resistance, but inviting him to join you on a walk/run (maybe with the baby?) might work? It would be great if he were able to be more of a cheerleader. It's really hard to do what you're doing without support. Maybe if he started feeling better about himself, he'd be able to be more of a cheerleader for you! At any rate, keep it up! And good luck with the FET!!

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  21. I'm so excited for you that you're sticking with this and seeing results in your strength and endurance (and the way your clothes are fitting!!!). Also, very cool that your nurse/RE is going to be flexible for you to do this before the FET. Definitely a good plan. :)

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