Sunday, May 19, 2013

Boys are here!

Oh boy, it's been a tough couple of days. On Thursday, I went to my regularly scheduled doctor appointment which included dopplers, an NST, and an OB visit with my doc. Everything looked good except my blood pressure. My doc ordered a 24 hour urine collection, and it almost seemed offhand, a blood draw to check my blood levels. No big deal. 

Friday morning I had settled into my normal workday at home, lying down with my computer, surrounded by pillows, when my phone rang. It was my doc and she said do not pass go, just get yourself to the hospital right away, but don't drive yourself, we're having babies today. My blood levels were bad, and they indicated severe preeclampsia. 

I called my husband to come home and get me, jumped in the shower, and ran around packing a bag. Of course I didn't have a bag packed already! Less than 2 hours after my doc called, we pulled into the hospital that is about an hour away, ready to have these boys. 

My doc met with me, and explained that not only do I have severe preeclampsia, but it has also elevated into HELLP syndrome. I don't know a lot about either of these, but I know it can be bad, very bad, for mom and babies. So we need to deliver ASAP. Problem is, I took a heparin shot that morning. 

About 2 weeks prior, my doc switched me from Lovenox to heparin as we got closer to delivery. And even though she would have preferred me to quit a little earlier, we had negotiated to quit heparin at 35 weeks. Yeah, we were at 34 weeks and 6 days, 1 day prior to me quitting heparin completely. Also, I had eaten breakfast that morning so they didn't want to do anesthesia. 

Long story short, after watching my blood levels get worse throughout the day, they made the decision that they had to deliver ASAP even though I hadn't appropriately metabolized the heparin, so I had to deliver under general anesthesia. I was crushed - this definitely was not the way I wanted this to happen. But I understood. 

Fast forward to waking up: I found out that my two boys had been born. Henry, Baby A, the one we had been worried about, at 4 lb 1 oz. And John, Baby B, the "big" guy that we had no worries about, at 4 lb 7 oz. (smaller than any of the latest ultrasounds). 

Both boys went to the NICU, but Henry, the little guy, only spent the night there, and has spent the time since in the regular nursery or in my room. He latches like a champ, and we have him on a routine where he nurses from me for about 20 minutes, then he gets donor milk that has been fortified to increase calories. He lost 4.1% of his birth weight in the first day of life, and I've been told that he won't be able to go home until he's gained above his birth weight. But he's doing well. Our little IUGR baby, so tiny, but healthy. 

John has been in the NICU since birth, and he's not doing so hot. He's having a hard time keeping his sugars up, and also with eating. I feel so bad for him because he's been alone, without his family, for much of the time. I've only seen him a couple times because between my own complications and taking care of Henry, I've been pretty confined to bed. At one point they were talking about graduating him to the Level I nursery, where Henry is when he's not in our room, but then his sugars went down and he regressed. I went there last night with the hopes of feeding him via a bottle and they had fed him early, trying to increase his sugars and avoid a feeding tube. I was still so confused last night, I didn't understand everything they said. Just sat there holding my sweet baby in the wheelchair, trying not to fall asleep. 

That's the other thing that's been awful - my own complications. It's been really hard for me to understand because I had no symptoms of preeclampsia or HELLP. No headache, pain under rib, blurry vision, nothing! I felt fine, or as fine as a miserable pregnant with twins woman could feel! So when they told me that my liver and kidneys were starting to fail, I had a hard time wrapping my head around all this. I just was doing what I was told to do - go into the hospital and deliver my babies! But then they started talking about 24 hours of magnesium sulfate, and I lost my cool. I had heard bad things about that drug, and I just didn't want to do it! My doc had to remind me that I was very sick. And then when they said I had to have general anesthesia, well that was the kicker. Now I couldn't even see my babies after I delivered them! Definitely not what I had planned. 

I made it through the general anesthesia, and started the magnesium, and barely realized I had babies. This is why I hate drinking to excess. Or why the couple times I've tried pot were so miserable. I hate feeling out of it. If I don't know what's going on, or can't process things well, I get so frustrated and hate every second of it. They were telling me details about my babies, and about the delivery, and I didn't understand them. This continued for the entire next day, all while on the magnesium. Miserable. 

So in addition to that, as I was delirious and feeling like crap on magnesium, the day after delivery, my incision kept bleeding. They had to replace the padding and dressing over my c-section incision four times throughout the day. Finally one doctor pulled it all off, and noticed that an artery was spurting, and there were multiple spots of bleeding. They're not sure if it was the decrease in my platelets, or the preeclampsia, or whatever, but all of it led to having to redo the incision. Yesterday afternoon, less than 24 hours after the first surgery, I had to have another surgery to redo the incision! Luckily they could do it under light sedation and local anesthesia, but again, this was more time of feeling fuzzy and not completely understanding what was going on. 

Today is the first day I feel kind of ok. I'm on Percocet, which makes me a little fuzzy, but it's nothing like the feeling of magnesium or all the other crap. Today I'm focusing on resting, continuing to get to know my little Henry, and trying to understand what is going on with John. I hope he gets out of NICU soon, because I really don't feel like I'm bonding with him at all. I feel bad that he's all alone in NICU without us. Hopefully we'll fix that soon. 

32 comments:

  1. Congratulations on the birth of the boys! I hope you finally get to catch a break and start to feel better. You have been through a lot. All my best to you!

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  2. Omg Alex. You have been through the ringer. First off - congrats on the boys' safe arrival and I hope there is no more drama with anyone ones health pls. Get better quickly all of you :o) sending my best. Xoxo.

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  3. Congrats on the babies! Hope they are doing ok! And I totally feel your pain! I was on Magnesium too for 24 hours after and it was AWFULLLLL!

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  4. Congrats on those two boys! So thrilled that they were BOTH over 4 pounds! And what sweet names you've chosen!

    Please get better soon. Rest up! You've had a rough road, woman!

    I am so glad you and your boys are sage and sound. I've been secretly VERY worried about you all.

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  5. Oh hon! How incredibly scary and crazy! Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful boys!! I'm so glad they got you in so quickly and are taking care of you all. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way that you ALL start heading in a positive direction soon!! Many (((hugs)))

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  6. Congratulations Alex!! I'm glad your boys made it safe into this world, even if not quite in the way or at the time you were hoping.
    It sounds like a scary and frustrating experience, I hate it when I don't understand what's going on. Glad to hear that little Henry is doing so well, and hoping that you and John will soon be better. Sending many good thoughts your way.

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  7. Many many congratulations! I'm so glad the boys are here and doing alright and you're okay! I had pre-e and HELLP (also with none of the symptoms) as well, and all of that (and certainly mag sulfate) is NOT fun. I am so sorry that you ended up having to be under during their birth, truly, and that John is struggling some. I hope his nicu stay is short... the bonding will come. I'll be thinking of you, I know it's not an easy time.

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  8. First, huge congratulations on the birth of your boys- what a blessing. I love their names. I am so so sorry you had such a scary experience. Praying for you and those little ones tonight- I know you will surely bond with John in time- give yourself some grace for all you've been through. Hugs from Texas :)

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  9. Wow, you've been thru the wringer. I'm so glad your babies are doing relatively well. I'll be praying John gets out of the NICU soon. Mag is the devil. Pure awfulness. But now that you are off of it you should start feeling a little more clear-headed.

    I'll be thinking of you. Hang in there. In a few weeks hopefully this will be a distant memory.

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  10. Congrats on the birth of your boys!! I'm so sorry it was such an ordeal. I pray that the babies will get healthy and strong so you guys can all go home together. I will keep you in my prayers as well. I hope things will start to look up for you so you can keep on loving on those baby boys. :) So happy for you!!

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  11. Good luck, im sending good thought to you and the boys! But holy cow you have three children!

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  12. Oh my, congratulations are first in order!! I'm sorry that you ended up having to be under during the birth, and that John is in the NICU, but how great that Henry is such a trooper and doing so well. I'm sure John will catch up in no time and you will all be together. Ahhhh, your boys are here!! I hope you are feeling OK and taking care of yourself as much as you can. Looking forward to updates over the upcoming weeks!

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  13. ALEX!!!! CONGRATULATIONS and welcome to your sweet boys!!! I'm sorry that things happened so quickly and that you had to be under during the C-section, but I'm glad you had the right medical team seeing you through all of this! I'm sorry to hear that John is struggling a bit but I'm sure it's just his way of keeping you on your toes too. ;) I hope that he improves and can join you all soon. And what a gift that Henry is doing so well!!

    I'm sorry, too, to hear that you've had such complications. A good friend of mine suffered from HELLP and had to deliver at 28 weeks. She and baby girl both made complete recoveries and are doing well so I have the same hope for you and boys.

    Also, I'm sorry I've been bad about commenting lately. I kept meaning to come and offer words of support and I just never did, but know that I was (and am) thinking about you and your family!

    HUGE HUGS!!

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  14. Welcome to the world, Henry and John!!!

    Thinking of you, praying for all of you, and hoping your little family is together soon. And, rock star, you carried them so far- you did great!!!

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  15. Oh Alex, I'm so sorry about the scary experiences and complications! I can't even imagine! My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you're starting to feel better! I am so happy to hear that Henry is doing so well! I am praying that John catches up very soon! You are all in my thoughts and prayers for continued progress and good health! But congratulations sweetie! You are a trooper, and I really admire you. Keep hanging in there. We are all sending positive energy your way!! xoxoxo

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  16. Wow! So much to respond to! First of all, congratulations on your boys' successful entry into the world! That is so exciting and I am incredibly relieved that things went as well as they did: that Henry is so healthy and that John is doing relatively well too. I am so happy for you and your family. As for the delivery-- I can't imagine how rough and scary this has all been (and probably continues to be, as John remains in the NICU, even in his relatively low-risk state, and as you continue to recover). I am hoping that everyone is in top form very soon and that you get to take them home and start living the life of a normal, sleep-deprived mother of 3! I am sure it will be soon-- hang in there and thanks so much for sharing the news!

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  17. Congrats on your new little ones! I know that the magnesium makes mommies feel like total crap. We warn them about it beforehand. But, anything for your babes, right? ; ) I hope you're on the upswing and will be able to get into a good flow soon!

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  18. Congratulations, dear Alex. I am on edge for this story and so glad you are being taken care of and that the boys are here. I am hoping you are all back together soon and that you have a swift recovery. That is so scary. I can't imagine how terrified you were. But, you are a fierce and string mama, and both of your boys will be in your arms soon enough.

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  19. Congratulations! IT sounds like a crazy birth experience but the important thing is that you are all in good hands and are going to be okay! I hope little John is out of the NICU as quickly as possible and that you are on the mend as well. Take good care!

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  20. Congratulations on the boys arrival! Sounds like it's been...eventful =( Happy Henry is eating well and already rooming in with you. Hopefully John will be too, very soon!

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  21. Congratulations on the arrival of the boys! I hope that John gets better soon. I am so glad you had such good medical care - pre-eclampsia and HELLP - that's scary stuff! I hope you also have patience with yourself. You've been through so much and probably have a lot of emotions to process. HUGS.

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  22. I am SOOO thankful that the doctors were monitoring you so closely and knew it was time to get the boys out. Praying that you AND them can mend quickly and be strong and healthy soon. My thoughts are with you....

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  23. Congratulations on the birth of your little boys!

    I'm so sorry that things have been so crazy, but it sounds like you are in excellent hands. Things will definitely improve from here. Keeping you and those sweet baby boys in my thoughts! xo

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  24. Congratulations!!!! I am so glad that your doctors took and are taking careful care of you and your boys, though I'm sorry that things have been so rough. Thinking of you all!

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  25. Congratulations! I am very sorry for the abrupt and scary start, and I hope you all are home and healthy very soon! Try not to beat yourself up on the bonding angle - you will more than make up for it as soon as you possibly can, I am sure.

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  26. I'm glad everyone is here safe and sound. I hope John can regulate his sugars soon....I can't imagine having one baby with me and one in the NICU. As for MgSO4....yeah, I hated it too. I was on it for delivery and 24 hours post delivery. I didn't even realize how out of it I was until they stopped it and then I felt like a new woman. I too had pre-eclampsia and zero symptoms. It's weird because they tell you to watch for all these symptoms and I had none of them. Good to hear you've gotten off the super fuzzy meds and can be a bit more clear. Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers!!!

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  27. Oh sweetie!!! Oh my God what a shock reading the post, I'm really happy your doctor was so much on the ball and caught it before it became too serious! Sending positive thoughts to John so that he'll be with you all asap. You did great my friend. Love, Fran

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  28. Oh wow. I am glad you're alright. Best wishes to your boys that they'll soon be thriving and hanging out TOGETHER!

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  29. Congrats on your beautiful boys! Hoping you'll all recover quickly and sending much love to all of you!!

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  30. Wow! What an ordeal you've been through. Just so glad that you're here and so are your babies. Hoping John gets out of the nicu soon. I know you must be so ready to get out of there, but make sure you take care of yourself! And let everyone do as much as they can for you!

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  31. Oh my! What an eventful and scary experience! I'm so glad though that the boys are here and doing ok. I hope John improves and Henry regains his weigh. I've seen studies done that show twins recovering/healing better when together. Not sure if this is something they can do for ya'll, but it might not hurt to ask.

    And I'm sending YOU immense get well and feel better soon wishes. It seems that you are the one that has the most healing to do. I know that isn't how you wanted them to come into the world, but I hope you can make peace with it. You have 3 amazing children now that love you regardless. Can't wait to see pics of the little guys! And big sis too!

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