With the diagnosis of IUGR, I start going to even more appointments: twice a week NST's, once per week dopplers. But no more growth scans. And a c-section on May 30, when I'll be 36w5d. My doc considers that close enough to 37 weeks, which is her ideal for IUGR situations. Any time I go in for these NSTs and dopplers, if anything looks bad, then they'll send me immediately to delivery.
I guess they're trying to find the optimal time when it's better for twin A to be out than in. Over the next 3 weeks, they are both still growing, still gaining maturity in lungs and other functions, and the longer they can stay inside, the better their overall outcome will be. But only if they stay alive.
That's the ultimate risk with IUGR babies. Something is not working, probably the placenta. For baby A, his placenta isn't doing a good job of transmitting nutrients and oxygen from my body to his. The dopplers, which measure blood flow through the umbilical cord, look good, and as long as that continues, he'll still get nutrients and continue to live. But it could stop.
For the first time today my doc mentioned the risk of stillbirth, and it's really scary hearing that word. I think she was just trying to explain the whole situation, especially because my husband was at the appointment and he normally is not, but it's still an awful word to hear. What if after all this, after everything we've been through, we lose our little guy in the final three weeks???
I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude, trust the doc and her opinion, trust that she knows what she's doing and is doing the best for our boys, but part of me wishes we would deliver now. I can't help thinking that my body is failing little baby A, that he would be better in the NICU, where they could directly provide him with food and we would know he's getting nutrients, as opposed to this guessing game we play twice a week.
Three more weeks. No more than three weeks, and I'll meet these little guys. I'm hoping they're both ok when we meet. I know that even when they're out, the little guy, baby A, may face some more difficulties, the kind that come with IUGR babies. I'm trying to stay away from the Internet, at least some, but it's hard. I just hope they'll both be okay.