I was doing so well – and I thought it would continue… Silly girl! The anxiety time of the 2ww started overnight – woke up at 4 am, couldn’t get back to sleep despite listening to my Circle+Bloom session, finally fell asleep right before the alarm went off, exhausted all morning, having a hard time getting work done, time is passing SO slowly, wishing people would post stuff on their blogs more often so I could pass more time by reading updates, and the #1 sign I’m in full anxiety mode: I started trolling the fertility friend message boards – any time I start doing that, I know I’m in a world of hurt! I’m just a nightmare now – I keep thinking, am I or not? All I want to know is if I’m pregnant!!! Why can’t I know now????
The hubs surprised me this morning by asking when we find out if I’m pregnant. He has never asked before – I’ve always brought it up. I think he never asked so he wouldn’t stress me out, but when I saw that he was a little anxious this morning, it made me so happy. I love that I’m not the only one on pins and needles! I told him I was going to start testing on Friday, and then my beta is on Tuesday. And he didn’t even object – he has been annoyed with me in previous cycles for testing “too early” but this time he’s fine with it. He even said he noticed I wasn’t taking my temperature this month. Wow, he’s observant – I never knew he noticed! I told him I wasn’t doing it because it stressed me out. He said “good job.” It was a nice conversation – I thanked him later for asking, it made me feel good that I’m not in this battle alone.
So now we wait – day after tomorrow, at 10 dpiui, I’ll start testing. I know it may start a huge rollercoaster – whether or not it’s positive, but I know me, and I can’t hold out past then…
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Wishing and hoping for you :) That's awesome about your husband's interest. I love it when mine asks me stuff about TTC and pregnancy which is extremely rare.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad your hubs is asking questions! Lovely when they are feeling along with us. In my world, waking up at 4am = pregnant. At least, throughout my very brief pregnancy, I was consistently up way earlier than I wanted to be, and couldn't fall asleep, either. What's that? That's just called anxiety? Well, hmph, I say you're pregsy.
ReplyDeleteI understand the anxiety! Good luck Friday!
ReplyDeletejust know that you're not just talking to yourself on here!
ReplyDeletelots of people are thinking about you and hoping that things go awesome for this iui:)
it must be very hard, but i'm happy for you to have the support of your guy...
<3
Oh the dreaded two week wait...Yuck:( Def dont look to much into signs and symptoms....To be honest this pregnancy things were so different no morning sickness....no sore boobs...no nothing....but with past pregnancies I felt some of those things...So remember everytime is different:) Just some advice and you may already do this....I would buy the clear blue easy digital PG test...I know they are more expensive but the ones that say Pregnant vs Not Pregnant leave no room for error....We did that with our first test and it came back pregnant but then when I wanted to confirm it with another PG test I used the first response and I barely got a line but of course since Im crazy I continued to pee on the stick each day until it got darker and then switched to the dollar tree ones but I remember with those it took a really long time to get two dark lines....Also did you do a trigger shot? I know that usually with me when I would take ovidrel or whatever I would always test with OPK test because you will get a positive until it is out of your system and then you know for sure if you get a positive HPT it is the real deal...So much to think about...Oh my
ReplyDeleteThere's so much pressure on this cycle, since the first two IUI's both worked! Which just adds to the anxiety! It's really cruel that one can't drink during this time, as a glass of wine would really help!
ReplyDeleteOnly 2 more days until you'll know SOMETHING (although a negative won't mean a lot).... Ooohhh, i am hoping so hard for a +!
ugh, I hate the end of 2ww. There is no easy way throguh this. I am glad your husband is in it with you and that you are not taking your temp (no need to drive yourself extra crazy). Fingers and toes are crossed.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the old 2ww is so. damn. hard. You ae getting very close, I am wishing you the very, very best!!
ReplyDeleteTwo more days, two more days, two more days... It'll go by fast, I promise (haha, yeah right). In any case, I'm really pulling for you, and you have a great chance of a BFP!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Alex, you and I sounds so much alike!! From the middle of the night waking to the discussion with your hubs and feeling happy that he's feeling anxious, too. I hope so much that the time passes quickly. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI know all these feelings MUCH too well. You've been doing awesome so far, so don't be too hard on yourself. The anxiety is bound to creep in!! But it's almost time to POAS, which is a relief. Also great hubby's taking more of an interest. Can't wait to check back on you-I'll try to post another update soon to give you a distraction-or you can email me :)
ReplyDeleteXXXXOOOO
Sorry the anxiety had to hit like that and keep you up all night. But glad to hear that you and hubs were able to talk and that you feel supported.
ReplyDeleteI'll be watching for updates on your POAS adventures!
It is nice to not feel alone. :) Sorry about the anxiety. I hate that part of the journey. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteWishing the best for you and your hubby! :)
ReplyDeleteThe conversation with your hubs sounds good.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed!
Alex - thinking about you these days and wishing for you that this all goes as quickly as possible! And keeping all fingers and toes crossed that you get a BFP!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteIt never gets easier! Fingers crossed so hard for you!!
ReplyDeleteKeeping everything crossed for you!!
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