WTF Appointment

I had my WTF appointment with the RE (WTF – why didn’t I get pregnant?). It went well. I asked the RE about why the IVF didn't work, and he said it's just based on probabilities. He said that with each blastocyst transferred, we have a chance of about 50% that it will implant. So with 2 blasts, we had about a 75% chance. But we just fell on the 25% side. I asked if the Lupron trigger could have decreased the chance of implantation, and he said it could, but with the additional progesterone and estrogen I took, it shouldn't make a difference. I also asked about the chances of a FET compared to a fresh cycle. He said that FET's used to be worse, but now with the super fast freezing method (vitrification) they have success rates similar to fresh. The hubs asked about transferring 3, and the doc wouldn’t object to it, but didn’t think it was necessary – it’s up to us.

So we’re on for a frozen cycle. The plan is to start Lupron Monday – wow, that’s close! And then get a period around the 26th, add estrogen to build my uterine lining, and the transfer around February 11. It’s not a great time to do the transfer at work, but I may not have a job by then anyway (doubt it, but still), and I’ve learned a long time ago not to prioritize my job when it comes to stuff like this…

The hubs is pushing for 3 embryos. I told him I would think about it. I know it would increase our chances, but what if they all take? Sounds super scary – triplets? I know, it’s better than none, but really? I don’t know – must think about it.

I have to tell you guys about the resolution of the fight with the hubs on Friday. I’ve been going to therapy for over a year, and she keeps telling me to stay in my adult when having fights, or in communicating difficult stuff with the hubs. She said I really need to practice this especially before I become a mother. It’s true, this woman at work told me yesterday about the fight she got in with her son and how much she yelled and cussed at him – I definitely don’t want to be that kind of mother!

So after receiving the email, “I think we should wait a year before doing anything else,” I waited. I didn’t respond to him. I posted about it on my blog. And I thought. “What would my therapist say? Stay in my adult. What does this mean???” And so I thought some more. He emailed me later about something else, I responded calmly – no snide comments. And then I went home and coached myself, “Stay in your adult. Remain calm.” And I did. The hubs came home, and I was nice. Not overly nice, but adult, and calm. We got in the car to meet others, and he just kept talking about random stuff. Historically, things like this would blow over. OR I would get angry, and it would escalate into a huge fight. I didn’t want to either one of these – this is not what my therapist has taught me to do! And so at a lull in the conversation, I took a deep breath and very calmly said, “I don’t like the way you handled that email today.” And you know what he said? I was so shocked! He said… “I’m sorry.” No big explanation, no defensive behavior, no blaming me. Just “I’m sorry.” Amazing – he never apologizes! Seriously, never! So I said, “Thank you,” and we moved on our merry way. Everything was fine. And I’m so incredibly proud of myself for handling the hubs little temper tantrum well. This alone is something to be happy about!

Well, that and the fact that we’re starting again with treatments… I hate waiting!