Monday, April 25, 2011

11 Weeks

I hit 11 weeks this weekend, and I’m still wondering when it’s going to seem real. I haven’t told most people at work, although I assume most people suspect – I’m starting to get fat… I know, it’s because I’m pregnant, but it really just looks fat. I lost about 4 pounds in the first month of pregnancy, and have since gained one of it back, but I can’t help but thinking I just look fat, or fatter than normal. Actually some people may not notice – it’s not that unusual for a fat girl to get a bigger belly than normal! I think when I get bigger it will be easier – we’ll see.

My friend who accidentally got pregnant with twins gave birth this morning. I’m so impressed with her – she made it to 38 weeks and 3 days to her scheduled C-section date. She worked up until 2 weeks ago, and then worked at home, part-time for the last 2 weeks. I’ve never seen legs that swollen – she’s been miserable. But because she made it so long, she now has two beautiful boys that are 7 pounds, 1 ounce and 7 pounds, 3 ounces – amazing for twins. I’m going to the hospital tomorrow to see them. I’m so happy for her, and yet… I’m so happy for me that I’m pregnant at the birth. I’ve watched her get pregnant, and find out she was having twins, and then finding out it was two boys (she was disappointed at first, but got over it), and then watched her at the end. I have to say, since being pregnant, it’s been so much easier to be happy for her. It’s awful, I know. Even today, while listening to all the women here at work talking in their high-pitched voices about the twins, I feel jealous. I don’t know why, I have a little baby that’s growing in my belly now, but I still feel the infertility twinge – the jealousy of the surprise twins, the ease in how she got pregnant, how she would just assume throughout the whole pregnancy that everything would be fine. Even this weekend, knowing she was going in for her c-section this morning, I was worried about the boys – what if something happened and they didn’t survive the c-section? How rational is that? She just wanted them out of her body so she could move again, and I had so much fear about the boys. Doesn’t exactly bode well for my anxiety levels during my own pregnancy. I’m very happy for my friend, and looking forward to meeting the boys tomorrow, but I’m even happier that I’m going through this now while pregnant – I can’t imagine trying to fake my way through it after even more failed treatments…

The hubs worked very hard this weekend dismantling our deck in our backyard. It wasn’t made very well, and the wood is pretty much rotten. Have to love this Houston weather and what it does to wood – it was only about six years old! The plan is to put in a flagstone patio where the deck was, but first we had to remove the deck. I’ve been feeling very good, and haven’t done much exercise at all since finding out I’m pregnant. First, I’m scared to do any, and then I had that hematoma, and so I was on modified bedrest, so I wasn’t allowed. But this weekend, I really wanted to get outside and do something! I’ve been released from all restrictions, so it should be fine – just don’t lift anything too heavy. On Saturday, I was helping the hubs by putting very small pieces of wood from the wheelbarrow into the dumpster that we rented. And it was going fine. Then he asked me to tighten the bolts on the wheelbarrow as they were loose. And so I spent about 10 minutes bending over, tightening up bolts – not a real strenuous task. But then I started feelings cramps around my ute. I immediately went inside and started resting on the couch, and pretty much didn’t leave the couch the rest of the weekend. The cramping continued most of the weekend – it was better on Sunday, and a little better today. I know that people cramp sometimes throughout their pregnancies, and my ute is growing and shifting, and that could be causing it. But still, it’s so very nerve-racking, especially since it started while doing a very small amount of physical activity! Everything I read says that I should be exercising while pregnant, but I’m very nervous now – how am I supposed to do that now? I keep telling myself that everything is ok, and it probably is, but I hate all this worry!!!

Things are slowing down at work, which is good, and bad. I actually prefer to have the distraction of busy work. Now what am I supposed to do with my time at work? I know, awful… Hubs wants me to prepare a budget for baby. Any suggestions?

20 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're able to feel more comfortable around your friend and that her twins were born healthy! But I can understand your jealousy, too.

    If you figure out the exercise during pregnancy thing, let me know! It's something I've been worrying about for when I (hopefully) finally stay pregnant--balancing taking it easy against needing to exercise.

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  2. I'm nervous to work out too. If I get up too quickly or move the wrong way, I can get pains that last a while and I don't want to voluntarily do that to myself by working out. Though I have heard it makes the delivery easier...I'm sure you look beautiful and no one has noticed a thing!

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  3. I loved your comment-- I hope that we do meet to discuss our kids one day! Actually, we should just plan on it :)

    Yeah, people will just assume that you're gaining weight-- unfortunately! Until either you tell them, or your bump becomes obvious, that is. As for exercising, I never did ANY. Too scared. I think it's ok not to (well, I feel find about not having done any, personally). It doesn't seem worth the anxiety!

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  4. I also have not started working out. I want to but I keep spotting so I stay away from the gym. Your body will let you know when the time is right to start back up. Don't rush it!!!

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  5. hey! i ddnt know you were in houston too! awesome. And on the hauling wood take it easy! pregnancy is oneof the few times you can do pretty much nothing without someone breathing down your neck. Enjoy that!!

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  6. Here is your budget... Spend all of your free money on him/her. :) ha ha So glad all is still going well. Glad you are listening to your body and taking it easy when you need to.

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  7. wow, 38 weeks with twins is awesome, well done to your friend. I'm glad you're feeling better about the situation w/ her.

    Congrats on 11 weeks! Yea!

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  8. I hope you have fun visiting the twin boys. I can relate to the worry. I am not pregnant..yet, but I worry about every step of my IVF cycle. It really is exhausting. I have no idea about a budget for a baby..if I come across one..I will post it on one of my comments. :)

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  9. Glad for you that you're pregnant during what it obviously a tricky friend time to navigate. Take it nice and easy, girl! You've got the rest of your life to exercise. xoxo

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  10. You're not terrible for being glad that you're pregnant for their birth... I'm in a very similar situation so I totally get it.

    Yay for 11 weeks!

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  11. I don't blame you at all for being nervous about the cramps, but you're right - chances are everything is still totally fine :)

    I'm SO with you on the busy-ness of work. I'm always wishing it would slow down, but the truth is on slow days I just have more time to stress! Maybe we can try to look at it as an opportunity to learn how to mellow out! Hehe. Glad to hear things are continuing to go well!

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  12. Congratulations to your friend on the birth of her twins. I am waiting until the second trimester before I do any exercise and even then it will be gentle exercise. Probably it is just my anxiety that makes me feel the need to wait, but it makes me feel better as I think if the first trimester as the risky time.

    Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy!

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  13. Woohoo for 11 weeks!! almost out of the first trimester and you are doing great! the worry will always be there, same a the twinge in the stomach when you hear of another pregnant woman. I still have it. It's not jealousy I think, it's all the crap we had to take to get what for other is so normal. Just a reminder.
    For the cramps i found that I really had to remember to drink plenty. If I didn't then I'd cramped. And with the weather you have it's even more important. I don't have advices on the budget, so I can't help, but I'll be very interested to see what you do!
    Love, Fran

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  14. Oh, dear - that would freak me out too, with the exercise. But if pregnancy is affecting your circulation (which is normal, right?) then bending and contorting might be harder on you than some light aerobic exercise - maybe a one-mile walk with the husband at a slow pace? That's the first easy form of exercise that leaps to my mind. Glad to hear the hematoma is gone!

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  15. Congrats on 11 weeks!! WOOT!
    I would probably be afraid to do very much activity, as well! Maybe just do a little here and there or wait til you are fully out of the first tri. Or whenever you are comfortable - if ever. :-) I can only imagine all the anxieties that come with the territory!! Hugs. Keep hanging in there! You're doing great!

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  16. Hey babe. Ugh, so sorry about the cramps, how scary! I'm glad you got a chance to rest instead of helping! I'm so happy for you that you were able to visit your friend pregnant! As someone who has been in that situation (except not twins) I know how hard it is to make that visit. Take care :)

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  17. Congrats on 11 weeks! I am with you, I find being happy for pregnant women to be SO much easier when I am also pregnant.
    I hope your anxiety goes away, but honestly I don't know that it will. I still check the TP every time I go to the bathrooom. I guess it just goes to show, once an IF, always an IF.

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  18. I'm so happy for you! I'm not sure how to quit worrying, I know I will be the same way. You are almost to the second trimester! Sending positive thoughts your way!

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