I had another ultrasound visit with the RE yesterday, and the hubs was finally able to go with me. At 9 weeks, 2 days, we got to see the baby, and it’s starting to look like an actual human! It’s so hard to tell up until this point what is what, but when he pointed out the head, and the arms, and the legs, it was so easy to see my little baby. The baby was waving at us a little, and it just about broke my heart. Aside from the sickness, I can’t physically tell that there’s something inside of me growing, but there is – an honest to goodness, live baby! Amazing.
The doc told me that I’m supposed to start decreasing my meds. Completely cut out the estrogen pills and patches, and do the progesterone in oil shots every other day instead of every day. This will go for a week, and then no more progesterone. This scares me a bit, as it seems like most people go off of meds at around 10 weeks, but I’m going to trust the doc. He says my placenta should be able to take over now, so that’s what it is – I have to accept this.
I’m hoping that these kind of visits will help me get more positive. I really need to work on my attitude over the next few weeks. I can’t feel this petrified when I finally come out to everyone at work. Because it will come across as grumpy or negative or something, and that’s not really appropriate at work. So I need to figure out some ways to be more positive. I shopped online for some maternity clothes today, got about five things in my cart, looked at them, and then quickly logged off so I wouldn’t buy anything – don’t want to jinx anything! Then later I shopped for baby stuff – oh no, that’s not going to happen any time soon. The hubs sent me a picture of a beautiful rocking chair. I said it was nice, but we shouldn’t buy it soon. I know he’s finally getting excited, I think the ultrasound helped, and I wish I could too. I think I need to keep thinking about it, and try to get myself more used to the idea, and maybe it will be better. But it’s hard, it’s very hard!!!
The hubs looked online and informed me the Chinese gender predictor thing said we’re having a boy. But he dreamed we are having a girl. So now he’s convinced it’s a girl… OK, even I have to admit – he’s pretty cute like this.