One year ago, I met the local doc for the first time. This was my first meeting with an RE. I remember scheduling it for a week or two earlier, and then the receptionist called me to say it would be postponed. Pushing the appointment back made it so we would go through another cycle without treatment, and I burst into tears talking to the receptionist. I remember how impatient I was – how can I go through another cycle? Somehow I thought that walking into that RE’s office would get me pregnant… Oh how much I’ve learned in the last year.
I’d love to talk to that one year ago me. I’d tell her that she has more strength than she knows. I’d tell her that she can persevere. I’d tell her to start her blog sooner. I’d love to tell her that all she’s going to go through is worth it, but I don’t even know that now… Actually even if there’s no baby at the end of this journey, it’s worth it. I’ll always know I’ve done everything I could to have that baby in my dreams. Looking back at my RE journey over the last year, I don’t know that I would have taken different steps. Granted, as I embark on my first IVF (more details below), I wish I would have done this earlier, but that’s not how it works. I had to have the ectopic, and the miscarriage, in order to develop the cajones to request additional testing and take charge of my own treatments, and go talk to another doctor. Now I know about the MTHFR thing, and I know about the NK cell thing, and we can treat these. I had to go through all the heartache to learn and grow, and I’m now finally ready for this IVF step. Part of me is sad, and a little angry, that I stand here, one year later, still without a baby. But I’m stronger, and armed with more knowledge, and I only could have gained this by going through what I have.
Now on to the current update – The Little IVF That Could!
Amazingly, we are on for an IVF cycle – now. I start stimming on Thursday. I didn’t think this would happen – I gave it about a 5% chance! So all the things that I had listed on Sunday as needing to happen before I would do an IVF cycle – they actually happened! I was able to get a phone consult with the local doc yesterday, and he told me that their practice didn’t generally test and treat for NK cells. This is because it hasn’t been recognized the American Fertility Society as a real issue. HOWEVER, he’s willing to take Dr. Sher’s protocols, and implement them. And he has done this before with other docs for other patients. So I gave one of the local nurses the information for Dr. Sher, and she’s supposed to set up a meeting between them. I’m a little nervous about this – I know Dr. Sher doesn’t like the local doc’s IVF protocol, and I hope that doesn’t come between them. I tried to just get the protocol from Sher’s nurse, but he insisted that he speak with my local doc directly. It feels a bit like a pissing contest, but I’m not going to get in the middle of it. Both docs have told me that they are willing to work with the other doc, so I’m going to accept that and assume that happens. Based on my research, I think the intralipid infusion needs to happen by stim day 9, which will be December 3, so we have a little time. And the local doc is ordering the DQ Alpha test as well!
Assuming everything works between the docs, we have the best of both worlds – I’ll be using Dr. Sher’s knowledge in treating the NK cells, and I get to stay home and do the IVF, which will be much less stressful than going to Vegas. Plus we get to do this now – by Christmas, I’ll know if it worked! I can’t believe this is actually going to happen – between the insurance, and only being able to order meds from certain places (required by my insurance), and the NK cell thing, I’ve spent probably 20 hours on the phone over the last two weeks, trying to get this done. And it finally is happening – I can’t believe it. That’s why I’m calling it the Little IVF that Could… Despite all odds against it, this IVF cycle kept chanting, “I think I can, I think I can…” and it’s finally getting to the top of the mountain!