I did it. I've been putting off this task for awhile, but I finally sat down and opened all my mail that has been accumulating since the miscarriage, paid my bills and updated my spreadsheet that totals our medical expenses for 2010, as it looks like we'll be able to deduct medical expenses for taxes for the first time.
The grand total to date for my TTC journey:
Doctors, procedures: $4,345.12
Alternative (Acupuncture, herbs): $1,465.00
This makes me ill. Most of this we've spent since January - in six months, we spent almost $9K, and we have nothing to show for it. I know other ladies out there have spent much more, but that also pisses me off! We're still at step 1 - no baby. Yes, we're a little more knowledgeable, but we're also more jaded and bitter... What a great way to spend our money. And it's not even over. We're still at the beginning.
It's been a tough week. The hubs and I still haven't really talked through things. They're better, but not great. I can definitely tell that it's been three weeks since I've talked with my therapist. She had back surgery, so she hasn't been available, but I go back to see her tomorrow - thank goodness. Also, I went to the doctor on Thursday and found out I sprained my ankle and have tendonitis. I have to wear a boot that immobilizes my ankle for about three weeks. And ice it at least 5-6 times per day, and take anti-inflammatory meds.
I didn't go to the RE this week - rescheduled for next week - as my friend with breast cancer started losing her hair from the chemo and wanted me to go with her to wig shopping. We went to the best place - they really cater to chemo patients and others with medical problems. The owner has male-pattern baldness, so she started losing her hair when she was about 30. She went through an awful experience with wigs, so she decided to open up her own shop and treat people well. It was amazing. They shaved my friend's hair for her, it was part of the wig price, which was actually really fun. We took pictures when she only had a mohawk - really fun to see a 52 year old with cancer playing around with a mohawk! But it was tough. I try to be real positive for her, but then I get to my car and cry. It's just terrible.
And then my dog Jackson has a cyst on his back that ruptured and is infected. It has been there for about 2 years, but the vet told us not to get it removed 2 years ago, as it wasn't hurting anything. Now they are saying it is infected, they definitely have to remove it via surgery, and it might be a cancerous tumor - they have to do a biopsy to tell for sure. I really hope it's not - I don't know that I can handle that on top of everything.
I really hope this upcoming week is better. I see my therapist tomorrow, which should help. But I have to take Jackson to the vet for a biopsy and then later surgery. And I'm taking the foster puppy to get spayed on Thursday, and then Petsmart on Saturday to hopefully get adopted. I really hope she gets adopted soon - she's been really fun, but I have so much stuff going on, it's starting to be too much. And I go to the RE on Wednesday for a consult - follow-up on the miscarriage. All while hobbling around on my ankle with a boot! AND this is a very busy week at work - the auditors are coming for our quarterly review. I really want to start feeling better in my head - feeling very depressed. I'm functioning pretty well, but everything makes me so incredibly tired. And I always feel like the tears are about to come.