Wednesday, September 1, 2010

100th Post – What I’ve Learned

This is my 100th post, and I can’t believe I’m here already. I never thought I would ever have a blog, especially one centered around fertility! I started this in February, after going through an ectopic pregnancy, and feeling so alone. I had been following some blogs (including some of you!!!) for awhile, starting around November, but I had never commented and never blogged. I didn’t want to get “sucked up” in that world. But then I started getting jealous of the support that people received – both in the good stuff and in the bad, and I realized the benefit of being a real part of this community. I realized that not only did I want to hear about what other people were doing in their fertility struggle, but I wanted to respond and let people know I was out here struggling! And I wanted to tell my story. Also, I was afraid of going through something like the ectopic again, without having additional support – more than I have in my real life. Little did I know how much support I was really going to need a few months later, in June when I lost another baby. So for my 100th post, I’d like to share a few things that I’ve learned since starting my blog:

I learned that the support you get from internet friends can be better than anything you have in real life. You ladies “get” me better than anyone in my life, and I love knowing that I’m not the only one to feel the way I do.

I’ve learned that when you’re down in the dumps, and don’t feel like picking up the phone to call IRL friends, you can go on your blog and write a few words, and it will feel better. It feels good to let the feelings out, and then even better, it feels good to get the comments back. They really are like hugs – when someone comments that they’re thinking of me, or just agrees that something sucks, it makes me feel so much better, or at least not alone. Feeling surrounded by love is the best feeling in the world.

I’ve learned that following pregnancy blogs, although sometimes can make me jealous, give me great hope. I like pregnant after IF people much better than the “oops chicks” that I know, and it gives me great comfort that if these ladies can do it, maybe there’s a chance for me too. Plus I assume that maybe someday I’ll get pregnant and it will stick, in which case I need some mentors – I plan on asking all kinds of advice someday, maybe…

I’ve learned that flooding someone who is going through a loss with comments is so important. On that awful day, I took 2 minutes and wrote the No Heartbeat post. I received so many comments on that one. I remember being in bed, not being able to stop crying, but my phone kept buzzing. I kept receiving emails of comments from people. Some from people that I knew through blogging, and some were complete strangers. Someone had posted my news on LFCA, and a few of my bloggy friends had posted my news on their own blogs. It was amazing the amount of support and love I felt through that day. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it through that day otherwise – thank you.

I’ve learned when the random errant commenter makes a not-so-nice comment, there’s nothing like a group of IFers to have your back. Wow, I knew I feel oh-so-protective about all of you, but to get the same fierce love back is amazing. Thank you ladies for always having my back.

I’ve learned that in blog-land, just as in real life, you get as much as you give. I make a conscious effort to pay attention, to read people’s blogs, and to comment and put out the love as much as possible. In return, I’ve developed some amazing friendships. I feel like the conversations we have, although they’re not like normal in-person ones with back and forth type dialogue, are amazing and really create friendships. Even if I haven't met any of you face-to-face, I consider you my friends, my support network, people that I need in my life.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to be a good writer to have a good blog. I’m terrible at grammar, I have to write my posts in Word first so there is a spell check, and I’ve always been terrible at creative writing. But here, I just spill out my thoughts, and I’ve discovered that it doesn’t really matter if I’m not the best writer. I will always be envious of those really good writers, the ones that can express their thoughts and feelings so beautifully, and I will never be that girl. I was intimidated by these writers when I started blogging, but I figured I would just let my thoughts fly. Hopefully you can tell that I’m open and honest, and just want to share what’s going on in my life and in my head.

Most of all, I’ve learned that my life is better for having this blog. I use this as a form of therapy, of support. I am lucky to have all of you in my life.

With that, I’m signing off for awhile. I leave tomorrow morning for Europe, and I’m not sure how much access I’ll have to my blog and to yours. I’ll miss you, my bloggy friends!

25 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post!!! You are an amazing woman who is very strong. Thank you for being such a wonderful bloggity friend!

    I hope you have a great time in Europe! I can't wait to hear all about it.

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  2. Happy 100th post and have a great time in Europe! I have found such great support out in blog world too - it definitely helps to know we are not alone.

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  3. Chills.. I'm so happy you decided to start blogging and has had it help you so much! and you in turn have helped others.
    Congrats on 100 posts!

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  4. This is such a lovely tribute to our blogging community. I know I would be lost without you guys. There is nothing better than the feeling that you are loved and understood. Congrats on your 100th post, i am so glad you are here and to have "met" you.
    Have an amazing time on vacation. You deserve this time to get away from everything. I am requesting that your trip be baby and baby bump free (you here that universe).

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  5. Happy 100th - have a wonderful time in Europe! You'll be missed. TAKE PHOTOS!!!

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  6. This was a beautiful post! Warmed my heart. Have a great trip!!

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  7. Ta ta, have a wonderful trip.

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  8. So true in so many ways!! Have a most wonderful trip and don't think about us at all! :-) We'll all be here when you get back (and waiting for fun vacation tidbits). Take care.

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  9. Aw!I consider you to be a friend too! Thanks for our support as always, and glad to be here for you and get to know you better.

    And have a GREAT trip!

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  10. That was so awesome. It had me nodding constantly and made me cry!! Everything you said is true. And, you put it quite eloquently!! :) I never knew how much blogging would mean to me and it is hard to describe what this community has meant to me. You did a pretty good job.

    I'm so glad you're out there, Alex. You've been INCREDIBLE support to me and I am so happy to know you. Happy 100th!

    And, have an AWESOME time in Europe!

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  11. Happy 100th post, Alex!

    Thank you for your honest, generous and accessible way of writing about infertility. I'm very glad to have found you!

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  12. A great summary for your 100th post! I am very glad you are here and have thoroughly enjoyed keeping up with you and having you follow along with my stupid adventure as well.

    You really are going to get there. I know it's just some random person saying it. But, you will.

    Enjoy EUROPE! You are traveling at the best time of year, hands down. Smart trip!

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  13. Alex, you got me crying my eyes out!! What a beautiful 100th post... enjoy your trip my sweet and HAVE lots and lots of FUN!!! Will miss you loads but I know how much you need this break! I will try not to give birth until you are back!!! Cannot wait to hear all about it and see some pics too!!! HUGE HUGS and KISSES!!

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  14. Happy 100. What an awesome post.
    Enjoy your holiday!!!

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  15. have a blast on your trip alex. you are sooo in need of this vacay and i hope you get to block out all your worries, and just have a BLAST on this trip :o)

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  16. Happy 100th post! Glad you've been able to find a network of support here in bloggy land. Have a great vacation abroad!!!!

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  17. So-- my next post is my 100th too. I don't think I'll be able to write anything as beautiful as this one. You've set the benchmark high!! I was going to write something along these lines as well, though. This blog community has been a-maz-ing! And you've nailed exactly WHY.

    So- have a great european vacation. I want you to promise me that you'll get drunk in Venice for me, and wander the little streets at night in a wine-soaked haze. That sounds fun! As do all of your destinations... Have a great trip and take pictures for us who are stuck back here!

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  18. What a thoughtful post! I got a little teary-eyed reading! Isn't the ALI support network amazing? Thank you for being such a great source of support for us too.

    I'm so jealous about your vacation! I can't wait to hear all about it. I hope you have a wonderfully relaxing time.

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  19. I started blogging as a joke just over 3 years ago. I had no idea how it would change my life, or the direction it would take. I think all of us bloggers can relate fully to this post. There is always so comforting about knowing you aren't the only one fighting the battle, and that you can turn to others for strength and advice. I wouldn't give up my blog for all the money in the world. I wouldn't give up the friendships I've mad and all of the opportunities it has afforded me. I am glad you are here with me, and I am here with you.

    Have a wonderful time in Europe. Enjoy every second and competely forget about life back home. :)

    *hugs*

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  20. What a beautiful sweet post. And so true. I'm so glad you came out from lurking and starting sharing your story. I've enjoyed getting to know you and look forward to following your journey into pregnancy and motherhood. You will get there.

    Have a wonderful trip.

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  21. Happy 100th!! That was a great post. Have a great time in Europe and we'll miss you while you're gone!! Can't wait to hear all about it.... :)

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  22. Happy 100th post! I couldn't agree with you more about all the things that blogging has brought. Have a fabulous time in Europe.

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  23. Great post. I am so grateful to have you as part of my bloggy universe. Thanks so much for joining us and becoming my friend! Looking forward to your return from Europe :)

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  24. Such a great post Alex! I am so glad you started blogging and sharing your story.

    Have an absolutely amazing time in Europe!

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  25. Happy 100th post! I'm so behind in blog-reading but wanted to stop by and tell you that I hope you're having a wonderful vacation! :)

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