Friday, December 24, 2010

No Christmas Surprise...

Well, my first IVF is over. Tested negative this morning. At 17 days past retrieval, and 12 days past transfer, I think we can call it. I have the beta on Monday, but please don't tell me I should have any hope - I just can't do that this weekend. It's too far gone for that.

Dropped the hubs off at the airport, and will be wallowing today for Christmas Eve... Actually a friend just called and he and his girlfriend are taking me out for a drink later. So that will be good. I'm handling it pretty well, only cried a little. I told myself this morning before I took the test that I'm strong, and I can handle anything that comes my way... I just really wish this wasn't it.

40 comments:

  1. I am so, so sorry for you. There are no good words...just know that I will continue to follow your story and hope for a wonderful ending.

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  2. Giant (((hugs))) sweetie. I'm so sorry.

    (The word verification was "forksme" -- a much more polite version of what I'm thinking for you about now...)

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  3. I am so sorry, Alex. :( *hugs*

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  4. So sorry Alex. Sending love to you and lots of holidays cocktails....

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  5. I'm so sorry, BFN's suck. Drown your sorrows in some cocktails and treat yourself to something nice or schedule a spa day, that always makes me feel a little better.

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  6. Oh, Alex. I am so, so sorry. BFN's hurt so much.

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  7. Ughhh... I'm so sorry Alex. What a craptastic Christmas present. (((Hugs)))

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  8. you are strong and you will handle it! You are an amazing person who will wallow for a few days but then you're going to dust yourself off, get mad and get going on the next step. I am sorry that you had to get the negative, but I'm wishing and hoping that 2011 brings a healthy happy baby.

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  9. I am so sorry. You are strong and you will get through this. You will drink away the pain tonight and each day it will get better.
    I do have hope that 2011 will give you your BFP!

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  10. I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking about you. I'm glad you're friends are taking you out tonight.

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear this Alex. I really wanted this for you. Hang in there, you are still so young and will have your miracle soon!

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  12. You are incredibly strong, but I really wish that this wasn't what you were facing either.

    I'm sorry.

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  13. Oh, I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm glad you have some friends to spend time with today. Please enjoy the drinks, and I hope the holidays goes by quickly for you.

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  14. I'm so sorry, Alex. (((Hugs))) You will make it through this, but it does suck to be living it. Thinking of you.

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  15. Oh no! I'm sorry you have to go through this. Try to enjoy the evening with friends if you can! Hugs

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  16. I'm really sorry Alex-- this cycle has been such an emotional rollercoaster that I can well imagine that you are glad to have it behind you, although the outcome is so bitter.

    I am glad you are going for a drink with friends and VERY glad that you are spared having to pretend holiday cheer with your husband's family.

    I am sure you will have a bit of a cry into your dogs' fur later on, but I hope it is cathartic and leaves you hopeful for the new year. Those frozen embryos are such a beacon of hope right now, and I bet they'll do great in your less-medicated body in a couple of weeks... Hang in there, and have a big drink for me.

    xoxox

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  17. My heart is heavy for you tonight. Hugs to you. I am so sorry.

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  18. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you...

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  19. I am so sorry. Thinking of you and sending love.

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  20. Sending many thoughts. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

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  21. I am so sorry. I am thinking of you! I hope you can have a good holiday.
    (((hugs)))

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  22. I am mostly a lurker but wanted to say I am sorry! My first ivf was a BFN too....i remember the feeling and wish there was something to say to make it easier. I hope 2011 is your year!!

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  23. Honey, I am so, so sorry this wasn't it. I'm grateful that your friend and his girlfriend are going to be there to drink with you tonight. Sending you Christmas Eve love and hugs.

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  24. I'm so sorry. BFNs are never ever easy, the holidays are making them sting more, it seems. Thinking of you.

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  25. So sorry to hear this sad news. I know there are no words that can ease the sorrow :(

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  26. Girlie Im so sorry but you have so many other frozen embies to fall back on but none the less still doesnt make things easy when everything seemed so perfect...Have a drink and just kick back...you can look towards the future later...Take Care

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  27. I'm so very sorry, Alex! Sending you many hugs and much love....

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  28. I'm sure "sorry" doesn't help much right now, but I truly am. I was so hoping this would work for you and you'd have your Christmas miracle - you sound like you are being very strong though. HUGS!

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  29. Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I hope you got through Christmas alright.

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  30. Alex, I'm so sorry. I hope 2011 brings us both much better news.

    Hugs.

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  31. I'm so sorry, what a terrible christmas present. I hope you are doing ok.

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  32. Alex, my heart is heavy for you. Keeping you in my thoughts... XXX

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  33. I'm sorry this cycle didn't work but I think your body is just that much more ready. Rooting for you lovely lady!

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  34. You are strong, Alex. You have been in my thoughts and will be today while you wait for your beta. I'm so sorry this cycle did not work. Sending hugs your way.

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