Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Babysitting

First, thanks for everyone’s comments about my new MTHFR diagnosis. You chicas are super helpful!!! I’m trying to figure out if I’m heterozygous or homozygous. I definitely have both types of mutations: C788T and A1298C. So I think that makes me compound heterozygous unless either of them are homozygous? Not sure – waiting for a call back. And, my homocysteine levels were checked – it’s 5.9. I saw something stating a range of 4-17 or so is normal, and the nurse didn’t mention anything else, so I think my levels are fine. ALTHOUGH – I didn’t fast before the bloodwork. But eating would make it higher, right? Will ask the doc about this. Also my prothrombin time is 10.2 seconds, meaning this is how long it takes for my blood to clot. Everything I saw online said that ranges of 11 or 12-14 seconds are normal, so I expected them to say that I clot too fast, and should be on blood thinners or something, but the nurse said they consider 8.7-11.5 seconds normal. Weird. I’m definitely going to ask the doc about Lovenox.

I babysat my friend’s baby last night. Originally I was supposed to help unpack and watch the baby some, but my friend wanted to go back to her old house and clean, so she asked me to stay alone with her 15 month old alone for a couple hours last night. And it went fine – she’s such an incredibly easy child. But there was a moment, when I was giving her a bath. After I had washed her, she was playing with her toys in the water. And I would do something with her toys, like make splashes. She would reach for the toys and copy exactly what I was doing – it was adorable! And after every move, she would look up at my face and smile. I looked into her eyes, and saw her face was a perfect reflection of both her parents. I could so easily see part of her mom and part of her dad in her face. And then I started to cry. I wonder what a baby would look like with part of me and part of the hubs. I hope I get to see that baby one day.

I quickly wiped my tears away, and she never noticed. I’m glad her mom wasn’t around as I didn’t want to explain myself to her. It was a very nice evening, until I went home. The hubs is out of town, so I went home to the big empty house – the one that is supposed to have kids in it. It was nice hanging out with a baby – it’s been awhile since I have. We’ve been so focused on the process of getting and staying pregnant for so long, I think I forgot what we’re working towards. At the end of all this, the medical tests, the treatments, the heartache, there’s going to be a baby - maybe.

16 comments:

  1. Great about your other levels. Also, I don't think you have to fast for those tests, so you should be good. Great, great news.

    I hope you get your "what if" answers one day, too (and a full house!)

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  2. I hope you get to see "that" baby too someday. Hang in there. It was really nice of you to watch your friends baby. I know a lot of women couldn't have done it. Kudo's to you!

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  3. Aw, I hope you get to too. From the recent news, it definitely sounds like it's possible!

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  4. I really truly hope you can have your baby. This news can only help. I really do think it helps to explain your miscarriage last time. Thinking of you.

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  5. I hope so much that you get to see that baby soon.

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  6. There WILL be a baby at the end of this!! Sending big hugs your way :)

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  7. I know that feeling my friend, Mike had three nephews and we were together when the last girl was born...you just can't help it...
    love, Fran

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  8. I think your diagnosis has put you on the road to that baby, hopefully soon!

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  9. Alex - Lots of hugs to you. Jen at Got Love, Been Married, Now Where the Hell's the Baby Carriage (on my blog list) also has a double diagnosis of this. Maybe some insight there? Take care of you.

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  10. Your story about this little girl made me cry a little, too. Ohhhh, I want a baby so badly! I know, we all do.

    I think it will make us wonderful parents when we do finally get there. Now that I've announced, people keep trying to give me warnings about how hard it is to raise kids, how much freedom you lose, etc. and I just smile and say, yeah I can't wait!!! We will not be complainers, when it comes to motherhood.

    I can't wait for you to approach your next IUI with all your treatments in place. This WILL work! And no one (well, besides you and your family) is anxiously waiting for it, for you, more than I am!

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  11. This is so touching. I can imagine that child too, a perfect combo of me and my husband. I am glad you had time with this little girl on your own, it makes it easier to connect when there are not so many other people around. I hope you get your little one very very soon.

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  12. I had a similar moment earlier this year when my sister, BIL and 6yo niece came to our home for dinner and to show us their slideshow pictures from Disney World. Just watching and listening to my niece describe in enthusiastic detail her adventures on vacation totally made me tear up. This was almost immediately after we'd been handed the news that we'd need IVF, and all I could think is that I'd never be able to expose my own child to something that clearly enthralled them in this way. Ugh, it's so hard.

    What's promising, though, is that you have this new direction--this new focus for your treatment. My heartfelt hope for you is that this new direction gets you precisely where you want to be, girl. ;)

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  13. You did so well for being there for your friend and I am glad it was not as bad as you thought... going home to an empty house after coming from babyland is never easy... I keep you in my prayers and hope that one day you too will get to look down and see a reflection of you and your DH in your baby's eyes... BIG HUGS

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  14. All the pieces to the puzzle are falling into place:) You will get that baby someday...Hopefully soon:)

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  15. I hope that maybe baby turns into definite baby. And I'm glad that the results of those tests are going to help you plan things, going forward. (The 2 different copies make you compound hetero). I'll be interested to hear what else they have to say about the clotting.

    (Oh, and one thing about the homocysteine: it can shoot up quickly. I was tested and the results were normal, and less than a year later the results were elevated...so it may be worth pushing for them to test you periodically).

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  16. I will never know what the combination of Adam and I would look like. I hope someday I can move past the pain I feel when I think about that.

    I am so glad you have a diagnosis!!

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