I’m not bleeding. The numbers are still rising. There is a sac. I’m trying to come up with the positive points. Because my hcg isn’t good. It’s at 3,235 today. For the first time, the nurse is not positive. She sounded very guarded. She said it should still be rising at least 60% each 48 hours, even over 1,200, and considering that 4 days ago, it was at 1,525, and it was 96 hours until my next test, she said I should be at a minimum 3,900. And I’m at 3,235. Now I’m supposed to “wait and see.” I have another blood test and ultrasound on Thursday. She said it might turn around, that things may work out, but she didn’t seem positive at all. She sounded like she was trying to be nice, but definitely didn’t want me to get my hopes up.
Oh God – I just got an email from the Hubs in response to my email explaining what the nurse said. His response was “Can’t they do something?” This just breaks my heart – there’s nothing they can do. Now I’m losing it at work… Must pull my shit together to make that walk out the door.
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Oh i wish so much that the news was not in such an in between place. I'm holding onto so much hope for you. Sending you so many positive thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteHuge, huge hugs, Alex. I am so sorry the numbers aren't what they want and I hope that things turn out okay. Hoping for you and your little one still.
ReplyDeletebabe - sending you HUGE hugs. i'm not giving up on you yet! i'm convinced that there was a vanishing twin, bc your beta numbers were so high to begin with. i'm having de ja vu bc this happened with a girlfriend on babycenter. her numbers weren't even doubling towards the 3-5th betas, but all ended up FINE. she's 13 weeks preggers now. please try to stay calm. when is the next beta/ultrasound?
ReplyDeletei'm sooo sorry that you have to deal with this $hit. go home and pamper yourself. is that possible? xoxo
I wish I could come hug you and cry with you until Thursday! I hate losing it at work. I did that last week and it sucks. And I hate the words "wait and see." Just remember, we're all waiting to see with you. You're not alone.
ReplyDeleteOh Alex, NO!!!!!! I am so sorry you have to go through this. It should just be a normal embryo at this point, if the universe were at all fair. I'm not saying I think it won't make it, who knows? But I am just so sorry you have to be mentally prepared for the possibility of otherwise... HUGE HUGS to you.
ReplyDeleteThis is horrible that your nurse put you through this. Your HCG is just fine. I understand that you're nervous but remember, after you can see things on the u/s (and they look as they should) that's more important than the HCG.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry, Alex. Betas are less reliable at this point, so that scan will be the time to worry. A very big hug to you. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a blip. Hang in there, try not to stress. Like that's possible.
ReplyDeleteI understand how stressful this must be for you and DH. Hugs to you and really, really hoping the next scan looks good.
ReplyDeleteThere really isn't ever any sense of security in this pregnancy-after-IF game is there? Danger and heartbreak always feel like they're a mere breath away. The uncertainty and worry is cruel and unusual. :( I am so sorry that you're going through this, Alex. My big heartfelt hope is that everything is a-okay in there, that your next appointment makes your nurse eat her less-than-enthusiastic words, that you and the hubs find some measure of peace in this chaos. Thinking of you, girl.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's awful to get such wonderful news and such scary news all in one day. Hang in there- they are probably just being cautious. Just remember your beautiful sac!
ReplyDeleteHang in there girly, I know its nearly impossible to do this, but keep up with the meditation even if its just taking a few deep breaths each day. I really am praying for you!!!!
ReplyDeleteSweetie I can imagine how dreadful this news is for you. But may I suggest a possible explanation? What if you started the pregnancy as twin pregnancy and one reabsorbed? the beta may just be adjusting. You saw a sac which is the most important thing, many clinics won't want to to repeat betas because they could be stunning, doubling perfectly and still means nothing at all. We both just have to hope that our little pea will show a heartbeat the next time. You are in my thughts and prayers. Fran
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry things are so complicated... I read this only now and my heart goes out to you. I hope that on thursday you will see a little heartbeat and that all will look just like it should look... I know it's hard but try to keep the faith sweetie and vent as much as you need! You are in my prayers.. sending you a big HUG!
ReplyDeleteoh Alex - hang in there! I know that must be hard right now, but I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.
ReplyDeleteSending you tons of prayers and positive thoughts!! Hope your next scan is perfect, along with your bloodwork!!
ReplyDeleteLove and positive thoughts for you. I'm sorry this is complicated and horrified at how the nurse is acting. I'm very very hopeful that the Beta is jiggering itself and you'll have the heartbeat soooon! Hang in there! xo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't know how you've been able to handle going to work. My gosh, I am still hoping so much that you just have slightly abnormal hCG, but a perfectly normal pregnancy. I hope you and the husband do okay in this wait for Thursday.
ReplyDeletePrayers for the next test. Big hug to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry...hoping the next set of results provides much reassurance. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHUGS, HUGS, HUGS! I can't believe the nurse was not more supportive. You had such high numbers to begin with, this really could be a case of losing a twin, with the other baby rising normally. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way that the next u/s and blood draw go well.
ReplyDeleteJo
I'm sending you so much love and support... I can't imagine how scary this must be for your and your husband. Hang in there - I'm praying for all three of you!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
ReplyDelete