Today is my 35th birthday. Kind of feels like just another day, but it could have gone a completely different direction. I’ve been dreading this day for a long time. I’ve been worried that I wouldn’t be pregnant by now. All of the stats related to fertility change at 35. Over 35, our chances decrease dramatically. We become something called Advanced Maternal Age. Am I really less fertile today than I was yesterday? Based on all the hype, I feel like I am, and this makes me sad.
I’m trying to focus on the positive today – I am pregnant. Today I’m 7 weeks pregnant, and I’m so incredibly happy about that! This week was awesome – I saw a heartbeat. I booked an appointment for my regular OB, and I talked about the plan for stopping the progesterone suppositories. And the threatened ectopic pregnancy may not be ectopic – it may have never been a pregnancy at all. Or it is resolving itself on its own. Things are looking good, they really are. This shouldn’t be a bad day.
But a part of me is sad today – I’m mourning my youth. I have been thinking about this 35th birthday for a long time – almost 10 years. I just wanted to be done with having babies by now. I know that life got in the way, and it didn’t work out that way, but it definitely has taken a lot longer than I had hoped. I’ve made an important first step – I’m actually pregnant. And for that, I’m thankful and thrilled! But this will not be the end. I want at least one more after this baby. And I’m afraid that having that second child will be even harder than the first.
I know that sometimes it gets easier to have the second baby. And given all the possibilities and what I’ve seen with my bloggy friends in particular, it can be a whole lot harder than what I’ve gone through, and I’m very thankful for being pregnant after a little over a year of trying and two IUI’s. And it’s way too early to even think about the second baby. I need to focus on this little one, and be happy in my pregnancy today. And be happy about my 35 years of life. It hasn’t all been easy, but it has made me into who I am today. And I like that woman.
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Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteAnd congrats on 7 weeks :-)
Happy Birthday! What better gift could there be? Seriously? What do you buy a lady that's preggo after IF struggles? Nothing can top it! Enjoy it!
ReplyDeletehappy birthday momma!!! i have you have a fabulous day and weekend and that dh pampers you silly :o)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday!!! Turning 35 this year was a hard one for me, too. It just feels so monumental and a big transition! But, we're young at heart! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful birthday you preggo lady!!! :)
Happy Birthday! So glad that you are pregnant on this milestone- what a perfect birthday present!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!! 35 isn't so bad - you get used to it at least, and it's certainly better than the alternative.... ;)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! 30 was harder for me than 35. I'll be 36 in a little more than 2 weeks and I've been so focused on making sure I am on vacation for it that I really haven't throught about how I 'feel' about my 36th b-day!
ReplyDeleteHappy 7 weeks!!!
Happy B-day!! I hope you have a wonderful day!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Alex, and happy 7 weeks! Sounds like a wonderful day to celebrate.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Alex! You are only as young as you feel, so feel 34 and holding, then you won't be advanced maternal age :)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday and super happy 7 weeks!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd, WHOA THERE, slow down on worrying about your second child! :) How funny. I know what you mean, though, I worry about that too. But it is ridiculous, because let's just get one out to start, right?
No reason 35 has to be thought of as old. You are still VERY young!! Just ask my 92 year old grandma... :) But seriously, you are a young woman and you are SEVEN WEEKS! Hoorah!
Happy birthday ALex. You are doing so well and I'm so pleased to hear that the ectopic may not be ectopic after all. I agree with Leslie, just leave the 2nd child worries in the background for now, you are a strong woman who will cross that bridge when it comes. For now you are 7 weeks gloriously pregnant and I hope you are spoilt rottern by those around you today. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a great day.
Congrats on 7 weeks :)
Happy happy birthday! I think "Advanced Maternal Age" is treated way less seriously if a woman has had a baby once already. So I don't think you have anything to worry about. Enjoy the day for all it's worth! And, in case you're wondering, it is worth a lot!
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday wishes!!! I hope you had a fun filled day .. I am sure your baby helped making it that extra special!!
ReplyDeleteHappy birtday, hope you had a wonderful day and weekend. Congrats on the 7 weeks baby =)
ReplyDeleteWe're Gemini sisters! (albeit 5 years apart) Hope you had a great birthday. I find myself thinking ahead to child #2 too. Crazy - haven't even got #1 yet. From the perspective of 40 it looks like you have a lot of time yet (although I know it probably doesn't feel like that for you!) Enjoy being at 7+ weeks!
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday! I hope it was a good one. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday and congrats on the 7 week milestone.
ReplyDelete