Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Heartbeat

We have one!!! A super strong, 136 bpm, wonderful heartbeat! It was so nice to see that little one flashing away. And everything is measuring well. Oh I’m so incredibly excited. This might actually be happening!!!

Also, my tube looks a little smaller than it did last Thursday, so they are thinking that the ectopic baby is either being absorbed by my body, or it was never an ectopic, and everything was a little swollen from the IUI, and it just looked weird. So I’m still supposed to take it easy, but I don’t have to come back for a week. I’m so incredibly thrilled – for once, everything looks good! I’m still having quite a bit of cramping, but the nurse said that was normal. Only if I have “makes you bend over, and doesn’t stop” kind of pain, should I go to the emergency room.

I’m planning on going to South Dakota and Colorado next weekend. South Dakota for a family wedding, and then we were going to Denver for one night, because we had tickets to see U2. BUT – Bono had emergency back surgery, so he cancelled the tour. Which sucks – we have had plane tickets for awhile, so we’re still going to Denver even if there’s no concert, but that’s ok. We’ll be able to see friends. I asked about travelling next weekend, and the nurse said that was fine, especially because we were going to see family, and they would know where emergency rooms were, just in case. She wanted to make sure we would be around people who could help, and that we were close to medical care. Which brings up the big problem at home.

We have tickets to go to Europe in September with another couple. We bought the tickets before the IUI, as they were a really good deal at that point. We bought travel insurance to get back the price of the tickets if we weren’t able to go. I think the Hubs always thought we would be going, no matter what. But I always thought in my head that if I got pregnant, I wouldn’t be going. Well now the Hubs is fighting me on this – he really wants to go. I told him he should go and leave me at home, as there are other people going on the trip as well. He said he wouldn’t, I think primarily because of what people will say when they find out that he left his pregnant wife at home while he went running around Europe. He says that I’ll be 5 months pregnant, everything should be fine. He says there is no reason I can’t go – I should plan on going unless something changes. He says that unless I can say specifically what travelling to Italy, and Switzerland and Germany will do to hurt the baby, that I should go. I know I probably could go, but it just sounds awful! I really like experiencing new foods, and I’ll be nervous about that. The nurse was making sure I knew where the emergency rooms were in South Dakota – what about in Italy where we don’t speak the language or know anyone there? We were talking about staying in each town only a night or two – so that involves a ton of travel. That sounds awful for a pregnant girl. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being overly nervous, but all I want to do is stay at home and take care of this baby!

Plus there is the whole concern of spending money on a vacation, when we could be spending it on baby stuff. And the more PTO I have accrued when I have this baby, the more paid time I’ll be able to take for maternity leave. And I just don’t want to go! I hope I’ll be able to get my doctor on my side, and he’ll say I shouldn’t travel, and I could tell that to the Hubs. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to fight this on my own. The worst would be if we don’t go, and I have to listen to the Hubs complain about not going, and how I made him stay. That is why I just want him to go by myself – don’t want to hear him complain. Terrible, right? I just think that we, and especially I, went through so much to have this baby. I don’t want to do anything to cause any additional risk. But I don’t know how to explain this to the Hubs, and I’ve tried…

26 comments:

  1. Yay for heartbeats!!!!! It's amazing how they calm you down and make you feel better.

    I think the nurse was saying just for right now with the worry about the tube that you need to know where the ERs are. I think that once that clears up, they will not be as concerned about travel (unless there are other risks).

    I've also been told that the further pregnancy goes, the calmer we get. I've already kind of seen that with myself. So maybe just hold off a few more weeks about making a decision and see how you feel then. Hope the two of you can come to agreement!

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  2. First of all, YAY for the heartbeat! I'm so happy for you, Alex!
    Concerning the travels, honestly, I would wait a bit. Maybe you'll think differently about it in a few weeks? You say at some point that you don't want to go -- if so, don't. But if you would like to and your doctors are fine with it, I'd say look into the areas where you're going, identify major hospitals and write down the important keywords (I'm sure you can find them online somewhere), just in case -- and enjoy the trip. If you think you wouldn't enjoy it because you'd be worried about the baby all the time, then hopefully your husband will understand that it's better for you to stay home.
    But for now, enjoy the great news!

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  3. Oh my goodness! I am so excited for you! Just so thrilled! YAY for heartbeats!

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  4. I have spent a total of almost 7 months in Europe in the past few years, our last trip was in January to Switzerland, Germany and France. I know that you are nervous about a lot of things with this pregnancy, but maybe some of the things I tell you will help. First of all, a LOT of people speak English enough to help you get to a doctor if you needed it. Most people in Germany and Switzerland are amazingly kind and when you go out to eat they expect you to stay a while and relax... the food is not stomach turning exotic, they are both meat and potatoes kind of countries. If you want, you can e-mail me and I can tell you more. Good luck making your decision and I agree with the women above. wait a little longer before you absolutely decide not to go :)

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  5. YAYAYAYAY for the heartbeat!!!! I'm so excited for you, Alex!!!! It is amazing how you can feel instantly calmer after seeing that. And, I'm so glad things are OK with your tube.

    I'd agree to wait awhile to make the decision about the trip. But, I think that if you decide not to go then you should not go. It is definitely up to how you feel about it. If you're going to be stressed about it entirely then that is definitely not worth it because you won't enjoy it.

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  6. Oh sweetie that's great news!! I've been thinking about you so much!! I hope my scan will go well too next week! Fran

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  7. Yee-Haaawwww!!!! A heartbeat!!!! Wow, that is super super exciting!!! Congratulations! AND a less swollen tube! Even better! What a great bundle of news! Alex, you give me so much hope, because I am so scared of another ectopic right now! Not to mention that I am supposed to leave on MY trip in less than 2 weeks. Arghhh! And won't be near hospitals.... so maybe can't go? I don't know yet.

    I agree with these other ladies, that you should wait a little while before thinking too much about September. Decide in August.

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  8. Oh thats great news! What a relief!

    I'm torn on the trip. I think I'd go! When will you be able to do a trip like that again? Probably not for a while.

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  9. I am SO happy for you. SO happy!!!! It must have felt so nice to have a heartbeat. I would be wavering on the trip too....but you can think of it as a babymoon, the last big trip you will have before the babe comes and trips become much more challenging. I think if the doctor said traveling is safe, then it is......they tend to play it safe!!!

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  10. YAY!!!! I am so happy for you!!! And such a good heartbeat!

    We're about to book a September vacation to Ireland. It'll be our last 'us' trip before we get into the 3rd tri.

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  11. yay! I have been wondering how you are doing, great news!!!
    I would wait on making a decision, it might be an amazing, once in alifetime experience, don't rule it out yet.

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  12. p.s. Thanks for the lack-of-cramping reassurance. Let's hope! Do you feel sick yet? I am worried that I don't feel sick... although I know around 6 weeks is supposedly the normal time for it to start.

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  13. WooHoo for a heartbeat!! I'm so thrilled for you!

    I agree with the other posters about the travel. We're actually considering a trip to Europe about the same time but are holding off until we get a bit further into this.... :)

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  14. I am VERY excited to hear about that heartbeat! And the fact that your tube is looking better! Things will continue down the right path, I just know it.

    I totally understand your not wanting to travel, especially overseas. Could you imagine if something did go wrong? Going to a foreign hospital while on vacation would be so difficult and stressful. Maybe you could compromise and take a smaller vacation closer to home. Somewhere where you are familiar with the hospitals, don't have to use as much vacation, and don't have to spend as much money.

    If you hadn't gone through IF, traveling to Europe at 5 months pregnant would have been no big thing. But it just didn't happen that way!

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  15. That really is a beautiful heartbeat. Congratulations!

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  16. OMG, that is the best news I've seen all day!! Congratulations!

    It's funny, I'm the exact opposite of you and your DH. We always planned that we would save the 13K needed for IVF and if we didn't end up needing it, we'd do a European Babymoon. Only now that we're actually in that place, J doesn't want to go. I'm moving there, but I really just wanted that experience before a baby. But now with buying a new house and we're almost 1/2 way through already, it just seems impossible. Which is okay.

    If it were me, I wouldn't make a decision immediately. Once you are out of the 1st tri, your chances of a miscarriage go down incredibly. And you'll only be 5 months, so it won't be like you'll be immobile and uncomfortable (at least it's not likely). You will grow to be more confident and comfortable with your pregnancy and I think it's a good idea to just keep the option open for now...you can always decide in a month or two...

    For now, I'm just so over the moon for you!!! Congrats!

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  17. Yay for the heartbeat! That is absolutely wonderful! :) As far as traveling goes, I can say that I would have felt the exact same way as you do at the point you are at. However, now that I'm at 4.5 months, life is much much more calm on the pregnancy and symptom front. I still get headaches, but I can manage them. As I say this, we are about to embark on our month long trip up to Alaska where we'll be living for the next couple of years. Obviously this is not the same as going to Europe, but having been there, I would think that you would be okay with food and travel there as it's super easy to get around or find someone to help. I do get exhausted during the day, however, this is something my husband is learning to deal with and understand that I have to rest and take naps. Whatever you decide to do, I can totally understand. :) However, it might be fun at that point in your pregnancy when everything settles down. If things don't settle down, then you could definitely invoke the doctor's excuse and get your money back. {hugs} Congrats!

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  18. hey babe - i'm soo happy that you guys saw a strong heart beat!!! i won't bother telling you to try to relax going forward, bc i know that being the nervous wreck that i am, i wouldn't be able to either. but all seems to be going well so this really looks like it's happening. yaay!!

    i ditto-ing everyone on the wait and see approach for your vacation. worst case, if you end up going and don't want to be as active as everyone else, you can stay behind in the hotel for a day here and there and just watch some international tv and catch up on your zzzz's. don't do anything that doesn't feel 100% right to you, but lots of ppl go on babymoons, so this trip sounds amazing if you're able to go :o) sending you big *hugs* :o)

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  19. I have actually got tears in my eyes for you at seeing the heartbeat, I am just thrilled you got some good news :)

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  20. YAAAAAY......CONGRATULATIONS!!!

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  21. I'm so happy everything's looking so good! As far as the trip goes, is there any way to shorten it or make it less hectic? Or could the two of you go just for part of it? Lots of people take babymoons and are totally fine, but I understand the feeling of just not wanting to go.

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  22. I am so so happy all looked great and that you have one strong heartbeat!! I am so over the moon for you!!! Great news about the tubes looking smaller and less swollen.. So happy!!!

    About travelling, I think if you feel strongly about not going, don't go. Ok, take your time deciding and all but if you feel like you should not go, don 't travel. I was supposed to go on several trips this year, one to Italy to see my family (I cancelled it), the second last weekend to Macau with D and his firm (I cancelled it) and one this weekend coming to D's brother's wedding (I cancelled it). My doctor told me (and this applies to me, so it might be different to you) that if you travel and the travel is a long flight it's ok but only if once you get there you are chilled and won't be doing more travelling or running around. Hearing this made me think twice about getting on a plane so I decided to ground myself until after the baby is born. I figured that I waited this long for the baby that if anything were to go wrong whilst travelling I would regret it. Travelling can wait until the baby is here, those countries will still be there after the baby is born! That's my reasoning for not travelling but like I have said, think it over and talk to your doctor and see what they say! Good luck!!!

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  23. Just started reading and can't believe how much drama you've been through to get here. Very happy to read about the perfectly beating little heart, looking forward to getting to know you :)

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  24. What a wonderful sound a beating heart is!!!

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  25. Wonderful news to come back from vacation to :) Congratulations!!

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  26. Woot! Dude, this is such awesome news. Congratulations.

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