I had my first real OB appointment today. I haven’t officially graduated from my RE’s office, as they’ll continue to see me for the next few weeks, but they said to book an appointment and start going to my regular OB. I had seen this doctor once before, in November for an annual exam, but now that I’m an official prego, I got to see him in a completely different way!
It was pretty cool – I first had an ultrasound to “confirm” the pregnancy. So funny. I had to tell the tech that I’m a fertility patient – I know I’m pregnant, I don’t need you to confirm it, but I’m happy to do another ultrasound. Then she spent a bunch of time explaining a vaginal ultrasound… Finally she interrupted herself and said, “You’ve had these before, right?” Yes, I’ve had my share. I got to see the little one, and it’s measuring a little small (7 wk1d and I’m at 7wk5d), but the heartbeat was going strong – it’s at 158 beats per minute! The doctor said that the size was still completely normal, so I’m choosing not to worry about the size. And then the tech turned on the sound – I got to hear the heartbeat for the first time! What a beautiful sound! I started tearing up when I heard that fabulous beat – it’s like my baby made its first sound. Oh I’m tearing up again just thinking about it. Gotta love the pregnancy hormones…
After the ultrasound, I went in to talk to a nurse, got a grab bag full of goodies, and then talked with the doctor today. No exam or blood work, he said we’ll do all that in four weeks. But we just talked about my concerns. He was really nice. He brought up that considering I’m a fertility patient, he knows I’ll be a little anxious, and that’s ok. If I ever feel nervous, all I have to do is call his nurse, and she’ll get me in for an ultrasound. The plan is for me to go in every four weeks, but not have an ultrasound until 20 weeks, and then another around 35 weeks. That is, unless I feel nervous. I may have to be an annoyingly nervous patient… I don’t know, we’ll see! But I loved how supportive he was about my anxiety – have to love that!
And then we started talking about tests. There are all kinds of screens and tests they can do to see if there is anything wrong with my baby. A lot of my friends have been doing the CVS – where they can tell definitively if there is anything wrong. Most of the tests, particularly the CVS, have some sort of risk. But the bigger thing is: would we do anything with the information? I’ve talked with a friend of mine that just had this done, and this is her third baby, and she was quite willing to terminate the pregnancy if the baby had Downs, for example. I have to respect her opinion, I guess, but there is no freaking way that I would terminate this pregnancy – no matter what!
So my initial reaction is to not do any of the tests – I don’t know that I care to know the results. Sure, I would love to know the sex of the baby, which CVS allows you to find out around 12 weeks, but that’s about it. Maybe it would be good to know the baby had Downs or something to learn about it, and prepare for taking care of a Downs baby, but it wouldn’t change how I feel about this baby – and I can figure it out when it’s born, right? Why would I need to find out early?
The Hubs is out of town, so I wrote up a big email explaining all the tests, the risks, and included links to information about the tests. And then I said that I don’t know if the tests are worth it if we wouldn’t terminate. He asked what I thought, and I told him that I wouldn’t terminate, no matter what, but I wanted to know his opinion. So then he got kind of pissy and said it didn’t matter what his opinion was, because I already made up my mind. Then I dropped the conversation, because you know what? I have already made up my mind – not necessarily about having the tests, but about any potential termination – I won’t do it. And for this kind of thing, I’m going to call the shots – I’ve been through so much to have this baby – there’s no way I’m walking away now.
I know this is a sensitive topic, but I’m very interested to hear people’s opinions. What would you do? Are you guys going to have screening tests, or have you? And why?