I miss weekends that are fun, when time goes by quickly. I had no plans this weekend, the Hubs was at work all weekend, and all I did was mope around. It's gorgeous outside, and I didn't go outside all weekend until this afternoon when I finally forced myself to sit outside this afternoon and read blogs on my laptop, as at least it got me out of my own head for awhile. I took a shower today - better than yesterday, but I didn't do my hair or my makeup or anything all weekend. I've had weekends like that before, and generally I consider those good times, as I like having downtime. But now, the last thing I need is downtime. I'm glad to go back to work tomorrow. Just to see people, and interact, and be forced to pretend that everything's fine. And do my hair and makeup - I think that will help!!!
I'm actually doing ok, just not really doing anything. I sit in front of the TV all day and cross stitch. I usually like doing it, but now I find it frustrating. You know what else is awful? Sitting outside and hearing all the sounds of suburbia, which is primarily kids playing and laughing. I'm alone in the backyard, with no children other than my pups... Why does anyone move to suburbia before kids???
On another note, I hate ganirelix. I hate the size of the needle - much bigger than the gonal-f. I hate the stinging for an hour after I did the shot. And I hate the welt and red mark I get on my increasingly fat stomach after the shot. I've only done one - last night - and I have a few more to look forward to - starting tonight.
Thanks for letting me vent... Now I will go inside, clean up a little, and do my nails or something - anything to pass the time before I can go to bed and start this craptastic week - the one that will include more shots, more monitoring appointments, and a couple IUI's. I hate those too...
If you can't have a temper tantrum on your own personal anonymous blog, where can you have it?
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Ugh. I know those weekends. I hate those weekends. I'm so sorry you're having one of those weekends. I really hope this week goes quickly, too, and the shots are done and the IUIs are done soon. Hope you're feeling a little better soon.
ReplyDeleteTemper tantrum away. We're here to listen. ♥
ReplyDeleteYep - a blog is a great place for a temper tantrum :)
ReplyDeleteI really really disliked the Ganirelix as well. It hurts! Hope you only have to take it a few more days (I took it for 5 days total). Good luck!
It's OK to allow yourself to be bored and do nothing...We are accustomed to feeling as if we always have to be on the go, so there's nothing wrong with feeling selfish. It just sounds as if you have a "I feel sorry for myself" weekend - we all have those days and it's completely acceptable considering what you have been through and are going through. BTW what is Ganirelix? Hang in there - remember it is a means to an end!!!!
ReplyDeleteTantrum away. I plan on having many "public" tantrums on the ole blog in the near future.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay to mope around...it's therapeutic sometimes. And when you actually put make up on you feel so pretty and put together. hope today is better.
aw $hiiiiit. i had no idea that ganirelix hurts a lot, bc tht's what i'll be taking, along with menopur (another stinger, from what i've heard) when i start ivf. i'm such a needle freak and there is usually a scene in the minutes leading up to each needle (while i gather up my stuffed animals and squeeze the $hit out of them while dh gives me the shots). i need to grow up.
ReplyDeleteglad that your weekend was a relaxing one and that you're hanging in there :)
The nurse told me this morning that ganirelix hurts more than gonal-f because it has a higher amount of proteins in it. And the needle is slightly thicker. Although I told her the gauge (27 or 29 or something like that) and she scoffed at how small it was... She said there were others that were much bigger!
ReplyDeleteOh, and Micgruber, ganirelix is the drug they gave me to make sure the follicles don't release the eggs too early - gives them a little bit of control. They want to make sure my eggs have time to mature before it releases.
A blog is a perfect place to vent, so vent away!!
ReplyDeleteI hope you will see you BFP very soon!! Hang in there. I see that the meds you are on, are not that "fun" but if you see your BFP, it will all be worth it!!
HAPPY ICLW
I agree, suburbia is the pits. Maybe even WITH kids, it sucks. (I am humming bars to "Mother's Little Helper" in my mind as I think about this). I am used to living somewhere downtown and bustling or at least charming and quaint, but right now I live in a sort of remote neighborhood that is as close to suburbia as you can get without actually being in it. We moved here because we could afford a 2-bedroom apartment in this neighborhood and we were planning to have kids. Ha ha ha ha.... (The kids who live next door are awfully cute, and they squabble JUST enough to take the edge off). Thank God we're only renting, and I am polishing up my resume at the moment to get as far from here as possible! Oxford/New Caledonia specifically, but if that doesn't work out, somewhere, ANYWHERE other than "Death By Quiet Neighborhood". . .
ReplyDeleteThis is the best place to vent...trust me! And thanks for the visit over my way. Glad to find you and good luck for this cycle. Hopefully it's the only one you'll need for a long time!
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW!
I'm also not a big fan of those weekends when my husband's gone and I can go almost the whole weekend without talking to anyone in person. Always depressing, even if I have nothing to be depressed about. I hope the busyness of a regular week will pull your spirits up a bit!
ReplyDeleteAnytime. It's amazing how that sound can grate you. I'm also in suburbia and feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteI felt instant breakdown after our house project wrapped up. A lady stopped in to check the house out with her two sons. My realization that the house was going to be occupied by a new family and that we didn't have such a need for a bigger house hit hard.
Damn people and their kids messing up our quiet! I think I'll be one of those "get off my lawn" types sooner rather than later.
"If you can't have a temper tantrum on your own personal anonymous blog, where can you have it?"
ReplyDeleteHaha, good call.
And I agree with the person above me-- I am becoming one of those "get off my lawn" people. Keep your loud children away from me. haha. :)