I’m reached the point in the cycle where the hormone shots make me an absolute wreck. I’m still very positive, thinking it’s going to go well. And my mood is generally pretty darn good. But I can cry at the drop of a hat.
I’ve cried both yesterday and today watching the Today show. I really need to stop watching news – it’s sad! And the worst was last night when I was watching Parenthood. I don’t know why I started watching this show – it’s truly terrible for those of us who would give anything to be a parent. But it’s a really good show, and now I’m invested, so I’ll keep watching, I’m sure. There’s this guy on there that slept with someone 5 years ago, and didn’t know he now has a 5 year old son. The mom recently contacted him, and he’s now trying to be a good dad, even though he’s been living the crazy single life all his life. In last night’s episode (not really sure when it aired, I had it recorded), he got mad at the mom for robbing him of 5 years of his son’s life, and they had it out. But at the end, the mom played the video of their son’s birth for him, and it showed the dad tearing up watching it. I’m tearing up again thinking about it. But I didn’t just tear up last night – I sobbed. We’re talking about 10 minutes of bawling, sobbing, runny nose, the whole bit! Thank goodness the Hubs was at work – he really would have thought I lost it! I guess I really just needed to let it out and cry, but I hate feeling this way. I’m walking around today, feeling great, but I have that pressure behind my eyes, just waiting to spill over…
Last night’s acupuncture went really well. I feel bad, I think the guy is angry at me for doing an IUI and not waiting to see if he can get me pregnant without treatments. He asked me last night if an IUI was expensive. I said yes, and then he asked if acupuncture was expensive. I said yes…but after a bit I agreed that it was less than an IUI. He then said I was smart for figuring that out… Oh, and I fell in love with him a little after he accidently tickled my back while putting needles in. I flinched, and he said he was sorry – “you just have very tight skin, like a teenager…” I KNOW that’s not true, but I love him for it anyway!
I’ll update later when I get the blood work results, but the monitoring this morning went well – we are progressing nicely!
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i *love* that show, parenthood. i only started watching 2 weeks ago, but i've already caught up on all my episodes through hulu.com!! one day, i watched 4 in a row and hubby was like "hello!!! i'm here!!" and i was looking right through him, heehee :o)
ReplyDeletethose stims make us all quite loopy, esp the deeper we get into them. sounds like you're doing great, so hang in there!!
I'm sorry Alex. I hope that emotional swing gets back to the middle. The hormones are brutal. Your acupuncturist sounds like a character. I do wish mine had a bit more fire.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you warm thoughts and all sorts of fluffy bunny and kitty thoughts to keep your mind off of the sadness. Hang in there!
OH dear, hate the overly emotional times! Hope you're feeling a little better soon.
ReplyDeleteAle, I am crying at the drop of a hat WITHOUT the hormone treatments. I am scared!!! This is such a crazy, crazy road. I think it's great that your acupuncturist is so confident, but I say Yes! to IUI!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate that out-of-control feeling. Not fun. And I am a loose cannon right now for sure.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad at doing an IUI - this is your life and your decision - you're giving yourself the best chance you can.
My story's a bit long, but basically, I'm finally getting hormones for the first time in over a year. It's just birth control, but good lord, the littlest things are pushing me over the edge lately- I feel your pain :) Congrats on a good monitoring appointment this morning!
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW!
~Miriam (ICLW #89) Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed
I'm happy to hear things are progressing so nicely for you! I definitely get like that sometimes with the tears. It's like, if I cry really hard once, it takes a couple of days before the tears aren't quite so near the surface and ready to go again. It sounds like you have a wonderful acupuncturist. Of course he would like to do it all with chinese medicine, but he should know what to do to work with the injectables, too. I'm sure he's had other patients who have done both!
ReplyDeleteHi Alex,
ReplyDeleteWhat did you think of the way the acupuncturist acted in regard to your IUI? On the good side, he tickles and flatters, which we all need once in a while, and he may be good with a needle (I hope), but his attitude doesn't seem to be in your best interest. If he's concentrating on the money side of things to persuade you to use him instead of medical treatment, rather than how effective acupuncture is, it sounds dicey to me.
I believe that the prevailing thought among responsible fertility practitioners is that infertile people should not waste any time in starting medical treatment, because it can be a very long and stressful process. If a patient wants to use a complementary therapy alongside medical treatment, they should inform their doctor. Likewise, if they are having medical treatment, they should inform their therapist. If in doubt, get a second opinion. In the end, what you do is entirely up to you, and that should be free of undue influence.
Your acupuncturist may be worrying that your money might run out before he wants to let you go. Acting "mad" at you is very manipulative, especially in relation to such an emotional concern as trying to conceive. That makes me mad.
Lisa (ICLW #65 - yourgreatlife)