This month will be different. I’m going to do everything I can to maintain a positive attitude this month. I said last week that I will try to act as if this is the month, that this will work, and that in nine months, in early 2011, I will have a baby. I’m currently in the first half of my cycle, so it’s much easier to be in this positive mindset, and even if reality and success rates and such start creeping in later in the month, there are things I’m going to do to work on maintaining my positive attitude.
I’m continuing to meditate every day, go to therapy every week, and acupuncture every week. These things will help keep me going.
I’m thinking of stopping the temping this month. It’s gotten to be quite an easy habit, and I don’t mind doing it. But during the last IUI cycle, I don’t think it helped my mental attitude. After ovulating and the IUI, I would take my temp every morning, and then lay in bed, thinking about the temperature. Did it rise enough? Why isn’t it rising more? Oh no – it dropped a bit! What does this mean? Back when I was trying naturally, I think it helped to see the falling temps before AF showed up, as it would help me to be less surprised when the bitch finally showed, but I don’t know if it helped at all in the IUI. My temps were also very confusing given it was an IUI, and I was taking progesterone suppositories, and it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy, so I don’t think it helped, and it may have hurt the attitude… It’s not like I need the data from the temping as I’m giving control completely over to the doctors, but I always like knowing what’s going on with my body a little, and the temping helps me with that. Any thoughts from you ladies on this one?
Also, I need to cut down on the POAS when it gets closer. Last IUI cycle, I think I started testing every day around 9 days past IUI, and did it every day. I figured that if it was positive, I would want to know as soon as possible. But this was not healthy. I don’t think I can wait till the beta – don’t want to find out at work in the afternoon via a phone call, but maybe the morning of the beta I can test? Not sure what to do about this, but I need to make a plan in the next week or so, and stick to it. Maybe I can give the Hubs the tests, and have him hide them…
The shots are going well – I haven’t cried once! Last time I cried a little every time I gave myself a shot. I think I was mourning the loss of being able to get pregnant without help. This time I am ok with being an Infertile, or Subfertile, as I will call myself in my positive attitude spin of the month. I know that I need help, and that’s ok. The Hubs has been helpful too. For the last two nights, he has hung around and talked with me while I did the shots. He claims ignorance, so he hasn’t exactly helped with them, but it’s nice to have him there. I think I have to go back to doing them by myself starting tonight as he’ll be working late this week, but it was nice to have him around for a few days.
Any other thoughts about how I can help the attitude this month? I need all the help I can get! And thanks so much for all the amazing positive comments about this cycle – I REALLY appreciate the support!