Monday, April 5, 2010

I’m Jealous of Mice

I haven’t talked about work much, but I work in accounting at a biotech company. And I was reviewing some invoices this morning, and we’re charging other companies for IVF for mice. Guess how much we charge per attempt - $138! As you can see from my previous post, I’ve been researching IVF costs, and it’s nowhere near $138!!! You think I can get our labs to do IVF for me??? It’s funny – I am not a scientist, and I don’t understand much of what my company does, but since this IF stuff, I’ve understand so much more about what we do. I’m approving payments for IVF media, and pipettes and all the stuff involved. And one of the scientists requested that we budget for a machine that will do ICSI. I had to sit there and listen while he explained what ICSI does to help justify his budget since he figured I wouldn’t have a clue! Yeah, buddy, I know all about it… Oh, and an ICSI machine costs $16K…

On another note, I’m in a 2WW – I finally ovulated, or at least I think I did. I had a little EWCM, and my temps rose some, and Fertility Friend put in a tentative dotted line for ovulation. So if you believe FF’s dotted line, I’m 3PO, and AF will be here around April 16, and we’ll get the next IUI started! And if you don’t believe the dotted line and take out one of EWCM and just rely on temperatures, I’m 5DPO, and AF will be here around April 14 – I never was great at the charting thing… It’s kind of weird being in a 2WW with absolutely no chance of getting pregnant – unless of course the condom didn’t work… Oh what a crazy mind we IFers have – the fact that I actually thought what if the condom didn’t work just proves how insane I really am.

Now I have to look forward and think about this next IUI cycle. It will be different than the last one. This time, I won’t cry every night when I give myself an injection. Last time, I couldn’t get over the fact that I had to do fertility treatments – I mourned every night for the chance to get pregnant without treatments. This time, I will get up every morning and do meditation. Inspired by Tishi, I am joining in her 30 Day Meditation Challenge. I started meditating on Friday morning, 5 minutes every morning. And tomorrow morning to participate in her challenge, I will meditate for 10 minutes every morning. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and I can’t shut off the stupid mind from going like crazy, but taking a little time out every morning for myself to be quiet has got to help! I’m going to exercise at least three times per week – didn’t do it last time. Now I don’t exercise hard or anything (usually I don’t exercise at all!) so I don’t think I’ll be over doing it or anything. But I think some light exercise will be very good for me – both my mind and my body. This time I will have acupuncture, which is awesome! (Love Dr. Kim!!!) And the best part of it all is this time I have my bloggy friends to help me through this! I’m going to try to take care of my head more than anything this cycle, which is really easy to say 2 weeks before it all starts…

No matter what, I’m feeling hope for this upcoming IUI. This helps more than anything…

10 comments:

  1. It seems like you are in a good spot to start this cycle. I do love acupuncture. It makes me feel a lot better even if I'm not convinced that it will work. I do know people for whom it has worked, so I also hold hope there.

    I've got my fingers crossed for you this month!

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  2. $138!!!! How come it's so easy and cheap for mice??? Strange. I'd love to pay $138 and have me some embryos implanted.

    How funny to be thinking in terms of 2ww even on an off month. Are we now cursed to endure 2ww's for the rest of our lives, even after we manage to successfully reproduce? Makes me wonder how permanent all this mental and emotional damage is...

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  3. OK, that's just too funny about the mice. Seriously, I'd want to attempt to get myself in the lineup.

    LOL about the condom breaking. Don't you wish the world would work like that? Well, it seems to for other people...

    It sounds like you have a great attitude for this next cycle and I really hope it helps! Peace is always a good thing. :)

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  4. Everything's going for you this time! Do you do yoga too? I've started doing it regularly (with a video at home) the past couple of months and really enjoy it. I used to skip the savasana (relaxation) part at the end because I didn't want to take the time, but now I'm making myself do that part, too, just to relax and breathe. Just the fact that I didn't want to take the time probably shows that I needed to.

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  5. Wanted to say hello. I am jealous of the mice you speak of for sure! It's cheap and they don't even know it's happening. We are on our second IVF cycle and I am wishng I was a mouse with mice sized bills!

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  6. $138!?? Wha?? Totally jealous, that's crazy. How is it so much less expensive.

    It sounds like you're in a great place for you next IUI..the meditation, the exercise, and acu definitely help me too. Oh and the blog - I would be a nutcase w/o my blog.

    Enjoy the non-2ww 2ww...hope you get to enjoy yourself!

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  7. I am glad you are going into the next cycle feeling centered and hopeful.

    I am hoping good things come from it :)

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  8. sending you lots of *luck* on this round of iui!! KMFC :o)

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  9. I am Rooting for you!!! it felt less lonely meditating knowing that your out there doing it too!!! day 2 down........WERE AWESOME!!!!
    don't be too jealous of rats, they have to live in sewers and have those ugly tails :)

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  10. where were those mice when we needed them huh?
    here from Mel....

    and wishing you lots and lots of luck on this IUI!

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