I Never Expected This

I never expected this blog to be a part of my life. I am a new blogger, and new to journaling. I’ve started journals before, but have never been able to keep them up, but somehow this is easier. I started this blog to talk about my infertility, but yesterday I realized something – this is about my life! My whole life, my ugly parts and my good parts. I expected feelings to come up about my infertility, but I never expected feelings to come up about my own adoption, and my childhood. I’ve been trying to work through some of these issues for a long time, and it’s actually really nice to be able to get feedback on these thoughts. The comments I received were so incredibly sweet and helpful – thank you!!!

Yesterday after writing that post, I was sad. But I picked myself up and went to acupuncture, and talked about the plan for this month with Dr. K – what a great guy my acupuncture guy is!!! He told me to keep taking herbs, and vitamin e, to exercise, and track my cervical mucus. Yeah, buddy, been doing that one for a year… And he said to get Hubs to take garlic to increase the quality of his spermies. He said maybe not this month, but next month or month after that – definitely will get pregnant! I didn’t have the heart to tell him that next week I’m going back to the RE to talk about the plan for next month… But I had such a nice acupuncture session, both talking to Dr. K, and then lying there on the table. I was drifting in and out, concentrating on my deep breathing, and really trying to get into it. I walked out of there with so much energy, and I felt that everything was truly right with the world!

Hubs complains about the price of acupuncture – he calls it our Mercedes, because we could buy a car and make car payments, or pay for acupuncture – it’s the same price. But if I can feel like that once per week – like everything is right with the world – then it’s absolutely worth it. I’m going to keep going until I absolutely have to quit!