Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What to do???

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to move forward with TTC. I’m currently waiting for my period to start after the miscarriage, or ectopic with termination, or whatever you want to call it. (What is it exactly???) If you count the first day of bleeding with the miscarriage as CD1, I’m on day 28, and my cycles are usually around 27 days. But I know that a cycle can get totally screwed up after a miscarriage, so I’m expecting this one will not be regular. I’ve been occasionally taking my temperature, and it rose sometime in the last 5-8 days, so I might have ovulated, although I didn’t notice any fertile CM. And my luteal phase is normally around 12-13 days, so I expect to get my period in the next 7-10 days or so. And I’d like to have a plan for action by the time my next cycle starts. Here are the options:

1. Don’t TTC at all. Use a condom or something, and don’t try at all.
2. Try naturally – take temps, use pre-seed, ovulation kits, etc. I’ve been going to the acupuncturist for the last few weeks, so he thinks he’s helping my chances. I tend to believe him, but I’m not totally sure. He wants me to not try fertility drugs until I give acupuncture a chance for a few months.
3. Go to RE before AF shows, and discuss the plan for the next cycle. I imagine it will be something like last cycle, since it technically worked, except for the ectopic… So that will involve injectible drugs and IUI.

I'm leaning towards option #2, or maybe #1, but Hubs wants me to choose option #3. He wants to get this show on the road, and get pregnant as soon as possible. Unless, of course, I can’t emotionally handle it. He said we should postpone as much as I need for my emotional strength. But I think I’m ok now, I think emotionally I’m better and would be able to handle it, but we never know that for sure do we?

One of the big concerns I have regarding timing is work. I have a job where I’m very busy in January and somewhat busy in February. It would put the people on my team at work in a huge bind if I were gone in January especially. And even more than that, Hubs’ job is extremely stressful in January and February. He didn’t have a day off – at all – from about January 4 through the end of February. And in February, he was working from 8:30 in the morning until 2:00 the next morning – almost every day. He made it through, and he’s not sure if he wants to stay working there another year, but what if he does? Can you imagine having a newborn at home with your spouse not being there at all? I would essentially be a single mom! If I started TTC again right now and got pregnant anytime in the next two months, it would be bad timing for these work considerations. Hubs thinks these are irrational concerns – that I should not consider work at all in our decisions to have a family, or the timing. I generally agree – kind of, but I just flash back to early February, when I was going through the miscarriage and everything after that, and Hubs was at work and I never saw him. I really wanted him around then, and I can imagine that I would even more so want him around when I have a newborn.

Hubs asked me if we were having this conversation two years from now, and it was three years into the TTC battle, and we still hadn’t had our first child (we want two at least!) and I was almost 37, not almost 35, if my answer would be different. Of course it would – I wouldn’t wait for anything. I shouldn’t wait, I know, because I’ve been waiting for so long already it seems, but I don’t know. What do you think – am I being irrational???

And then there’s the question about naturally/acupuncture versus fertility drugs/IUI. I really hated that fertility doctor process – who doesn’t? I really like the acupuncture guy (Dr. Kim), but how do I know that it will work? The IUI with fertility drugs technically worked, but Dr. Kim thinks he could decrease the “stickiness” in my tubes so an embryo won’t get stuck again, but he could do that with or without an IUI and drugs. I don’t know – I just keep going back and forth. I don’t know what to do, I’m just full of indecision, and I would really like to make a decision before the next period shows up!!! Any thoughts?


  1. Personally, I would go with #3...but I am extremely impatient (IF is testing my nerves to say the least - haha!) I also think the acupuncture could be a good option, but (again, personal opinion here) I think it works best as a complement to Western medical treatment vs. TCM on its own. Just my two cents, only you know what is best for YOU. Hope you get some clarity in the days to come.

  2. I gotta agree with APlusB, I would go with #3 too. Also just my personal opinion, my problem is with my eggs and I only have so many good ones left - so I'm taking every cycle my body allows to go through treatments. But this year, if none of our attempts pan out, hubs and I will take some time off to treat ourselves to a nice vacation - because life just can't be all bad.

    I've given up on attempting to time having a child around when their EDD would be - if it's going to happen then, it's going to happen, and life / work will fall into place around it.

    Good luck with your decision! Will be here to support you with whatever you decide.